Show Me Heaven
by McDimplesBaby
Summary: Things take time. Can Eliza and Arizona figure out their past to truly reconcile? Rated M for future chapters...ARILIZA. CONTINUATION OF 'THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL'
1. Chapter 1

**Continuation of 'The Winner Takes It All'**

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Show Me Heaven: Chapter One

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ARIZONA'S POV

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 _Eight months later…_

"Arizona!" Startled from my morning thoughts, I glance towards the staircase and find Jess watching me. "You really should leave soon."

"I know." I give her a nod, followed by a smile. "Just finishing my coffee and then I'll get gone." My gaze returning to the newspaper in front of me, I hear my friend sigh and I roll my eyes. "You're not my mother, Jess."

"Thank god." She breathes out. "I'm outta here." Shrugging on her jacket, I watch her approach the door and our usual daily routine begins. She leaves for her studio and I leave to do whatever the hell it is I'm doing each day. Today is therapy and then I'm headed to Dani's bar. We've grown closer since I split from Eliza and I generally hang out there most evenings. It's nothing serious between us but her company has been good. There may or may not be a little sex involved but we both agreed that it would be no strings. We both agreed that we are just as messed up as each other and friends with benefits is how it stays. How it always was. We're pretty similar in our personalities so our evenings are usually filled with checking out women, followed by me leaving alone. I may enjoy Dani's company but that is where it ends. Its where it ends with all women. I'll dance and I'll flirt, but Eliza taught me that I didn't need to sleep around to feel good about myself. Therapy has only reinforced that for me and now I'm feeling better than I ever have. I'm feeling even better than I did when Eliza was in my life.

Not because she didn't make me feel good, but because my ex-wife was always in the back of my mind. She always cropped up somewhere along the way and I think that may have been one of my problems. I was always comparing my then fiancé to Jenny. Every situation was a comparison, including the one that ended us. In my heart, I knew Eliza was nothing like Jenny but I couldn't see reason in that moment. When I was packing up my shit, I couldn't see any other way to work through it. All I could feel was the hurt that I'd become accustomed to, and that was that. Tunnel vision. I still don't like what she did to me, but I also understand that it was nothing like Jenny and I. Eliza will never be anything like Jenny. No matter how much she hurts me, Eliza could never even begin to compare to Jenny. My ex-wife was pure evil. Eliza was scared. Eliza didn't realize what was happening in that moment. I get that now, but it hasn't really changed anything. _We're still living separate lives._

I've enjoyed the single life. I've enjoyed being myself without my usual ways coming into play. More than anything, I've enjoyed finding myself again. I'm so much more than I thought I was and that's exactly why I leave Dani's bar each evening alone. It's exactly why I've come to the conclusion that I don't need anything serious in my life. Sure, there have been a few one-night stands, but nothing that has made me feel even a hint of what I need. Nothing to the point where I'm drunk and I don't remember my own name. I've become so much more aware of my actions and how they affect people, so no…I didn't go back to my old ways and I know I never will.

I won't lie, it's been hard living without Eliza, but I made it. I pulled through so much better than I thought I would. I spent some time back home with my mom and now I'm sharing Jess' place with her. She's been great and she's kept her hands to herself but that's due to the fact that she knows I'm not attracted to her. She's gorgeous, but she isn't for me. _Nobody is for me._ I'm good exactly how I am and honestly, I'm not sure anyone could ever come close to my ex. Yeah, I've dated once or twice but again…dating isn't my thing. I sit there watching the woman I'm sharing my evening with and Eliza comes back to the forefront of my mind.

We've spoken on a handful of occasions since I left but we decided that it was best to keep contact to a minimum. It's just easier that way. She's moving forward and so am I. The last I heard, she had met someone but I don't like to know too much. There were a few occasions when I thought about calling and asking her out to dinner but I always stopped myself. I did so because I knew it wasn't healthy to keep thinking about her. I did so for my own sanity.

I'm the one who walked away and as much as I wanted to return, I knew I was in a bad place and I couldn't put her through that. She may have put her hands on me, but it wasn't as simple as I first thought. Nothing made sense and I simply had to leave. Maybe one day we will sit down together and share a drink, but she's happy and settled now so I'm not about to ruin that for her. I don't know what her new love is like and I don't want to know. So long as she makes my ex happy, I can continue how I am. I can live the carefree life I've been living and I can be content with that. I have to be. It's the only way I can function.

Grabbing my cell from the kitchen counter, I climb down from my stool and head for my jacket hanging by the front door. I'm spending the next couple of hours talking through my issues and I'm feeling good about it. I'm feeling like everything is as it should be, and I'm right where I belong. In this city. In this house. With the people I have around me. Today, I feel like I'm truly free without a single worry on my mind. Today…today is a good day. I can feel it. I can just sense it. Nobody is bringing me down, not even myself.

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Settled in my seat at the bar, a strong beat plays out around me and I can see Dani watching me. I know she worries about me at times but she really has no reason to. I'm feeling good. Great, even. My session with my therapist went well and we discussed the possibility of ending them soon. Lessening them, at least. It was hard when I first started talking out my problems but I'm so glad I took that step. It made sense to do it when I did. Had I come to terms with my past before I met Eliza, we may have never ended. We may have figured everything out and tried again. I'd like to believe that I could have done that with her, but it wasn't what I needed in that moment. It wasn't what either of us needed. I know I'd have been a nervous wreck around her. I know I'd have only ended up hurting her with my reactions if she approached me or if a discussion got a little heated. What good would that have done for either of us? How could we have possibly lived like that? It's not healthy. It would've only destroyed us both, I know that. _I hope she knows that, too._

Do I miss her? More than anything. Do I believe that we could ever reconcile and get back together? In this moment, yes I do. In this moment, I believe I can do anything I put my mind to. Can that happen, though? No. No, it can't. It isn't as simple as calling her up and asking her to join me for a drink. It isn't as simple as showing up at her door like she once suggested. Everything has changed and I'm not the same person I was eight months ago. Hell, I'm not even the person Eliza once fell in love with. I hope I'll never be that person again, but this is new for me. I'm still coming to terms with who I am now and to keep that going, I should remain alone. Of course, I don't want to be alone…but it's the right thing to do. It's the right thing for everyone involved.

"Hey!" Pulled from my thoughts when Dani drops down beside me, she nudges my knee and sits forward in her seat. "Looking hot tonight, Robbins."

"You know it." I throw her a wink.

"So, is this for me or are you meeting someone?" She narrows her eyes.

"Me…meeting someone?" I laugh. "Figured you knew me well enough by now, Dan."

"Ah…" She smirks. "It's for me, huh?"

"Maybe." I shrug. "Play your cards right and it might just be."

"Damn, you know how to keep me on my toes, Zo." She sighs. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" I furrow my brow.

"Reel the women in…" She sits back in her seat and glances around the bar. "It's just effortless for you."

"Not anymore." I disagree. "You know I'm not into that these days."

"So, I'm the exception." She has a look of pride in her eyes. "Makes me feel kinda special, I won't lie."

"You and I are just…you and I." I know she gets it, but I have to remind her sometimes that we're not together. I have to remind her that this is simply an arrangement when we both want a little something to take the edge off."You know that, Dani."

"A girl can try, Zo." She rolls her eyes. "Give me a shout if you want a refill."

"Sure." Watching as my friend come sex buddy stands and leaves, I sink down in my seat a little and run my fingers through my hair. Maybe I should call this off with Dani. Maybe I should just give her the whole 'thanks but no thanks' speech. I don't know. It has been good having her by my side when I've needed to talk or let off steam, but I'm not sure it's going to fix my problems. I'm not sure it will ever truly make me happy. _How can it? She's not my girlfriend._ She's not going to ever become that because we are far too similar. We are way too alike and we would clash. We both know that.

Glancing back, I find her watching me still but I don't know what to make of it. I suspect I've allowed it to go too far, but I thought she knew what we were. _She DOES know what we are._ It's never been a secret that this is just some fun. Like it was all that time ago when we used to play games and try to bag the best woman in the bar. We were nothing back then and now is no different. I want her in my life as a friend, I know that much. I just hope I haven't ruined that between us. I mean, we don't climb into bed together often, but when we do…it's intense. It's not Eliza intense, but it certainly does the job for me.

Returning my eyes to the crowd in front of me, the music around me slows and it's calming. I've completely changed my taste in music over the last few months to help with my mood and this playing right now is totally my thing. It's soft. Relaxing. Gives you a moment to breathe and just be. _Yeah, I'm feeling this one._ Smiling as the couples around me slow it down a little, I release a slight sigh and watch on in delight.

 _ **There you go**_

 _ **Flashing fever from your eyes**_

 _ **Hey baby, come over here and shut them tight**_

 _ **I'm not denying**_

 _ **We're flying above it all**_

 _ **Hold my hand, don't let me fall**_

 _ **You've such amazing grace**_

 _ **I've never felt this way**_

 _ **Oh, show me heaven**_

 _ **Cover me**_

 _ **Leave me breathless**_

 _ **Oh, show me heaven, please**_

 _ **Here I go**_

 _ **I'm shaking just like the breeze**_

 _ **Hey baby, I need your hand to steady me**_

 _ **I'm not denying**_

 _ **I'm frightened as much as you**_

 _ **Though I'm barely touching you**_

 _ **I've shivers down my spine**_

 _ **And it feels divine**_

 _ **Oh, show me heaven**_

 _ **Cover me**_

 _ **Leave me breathless**_

 _ **Oh, show me heaven, please**_

 _ **If you know what it's like**_

 _ **To dream a dream**_

 _ **Baby, hold me tight and let this be, oh**_

 _ **Heaven**_

 _ **Cover me**_

 _ **Leave me breathless**_

 _ **Oh, show me heaven, please**_

"Oh god." Sitting forward in my seat, tears gather on my jawline and my eyes close, causing more to fall. That song. That voice. _Shit._ It's Eliza. It's the woman who wrote that song for me. The song I thought about whenever I was feeling down. The song that saved my relationship before it ultimately ended. The song that made me feel more than I thought I was when we were discussing our marriage and my determination to not give in to what she wanted for us. It's everything to me and its just been playing in the bar. It's just been playing but I don't understand how. Eliza _doesn't_ record. She _doesn't_ sing. She did for me once but she told me that it's not her thing. She writes, she _doesn't_ sing. _That was definitely her voice._ I'd put my life on it.

Standing, I grab my drink and approach the bar. Dani is looking at me with complete confusion and I guess I should explain myself. I mean, I'm standing in front of her with a tear stained face so yeah…she wants to know what is going on. "T-That song…" I pull her to one side and out of earshot of her customers. "Where did you get it?"

"It's just a new playlist that was recommended to me." She shrugs. "Why?"

"But where did you get it?" I ask again. "From who?"

"A streaming service." She furrows her brow. "I mean, it's alright but I wouldn't say it was worth crying about." _And that is where we are different._ How can she not be moved by that song? Those lyrics? The pure love in every word…

"I have to go." I drop my gaze.

"I thought you were spending the night?" She grips my wrist. "I thought we were locking up and heading upstairs together?"

"I'm not feeling too good." I shake my head. "I need to go home and sleep."

"Maybe tomorrow?" She raises her eyebrow.

"I'll call you, okay?" Giving me a nod, I grab my jacket from the back of the seat it's been hanging from and head through the crowd. I just need a moment to myself and I'll be okay. If I work on the techniques my therapist has suggested to me, I'll be just fine. Like I have been for the past eight months. I know I'll never forget about Eliza, but that song has just brought back a world of feelings. Feelings I didn't think existed anymore. _This isn't good. No good could ever possibly come from this._ I feel like I should congratulate her for the incredible track she has recorded, but we aren't in that place anymore. We aren't in a place where we can randomly text or call each other to say hi or to discuss the day we've shared. I wish we could be those people, but it's too hard. _Life without her has been too hard at times but I'm coping. I'm managing._

Deciding that I should get home and sleep, I pick up my pace a little and head down the street. Jess only lives five minutes from the bar and I'll be back there in no time at all. Providing nothing stops me on the way, I'll be safely locked up within the next five minutes and thinking about what's happened tonight. _You can't call her. She's involved._ Maybe that song no longer belongs to me. Maybe it's being shared with the world for another woman's ears. Another woman's heart to pound at the sound of it. Someone she truly loves. Someone who isn't me. _Damn it._ I've spent at least six months wondering if I made the right decision in leaving and to this day…I have no answer to my own question. I'm not sure I'll ever have an answer for it.

 _What's done is done._ Another motto of mine that I've lived by recently. It broke my heart watching Eliza as I pulled away from her place for the final time, but it was the right decision. I mean, look at me now? I'm doing so good. Better than ever. Jenny doesn't even cross my mind anymore and that can only be a good thing. Eliza, however, she's on my mind every minute of the day. I try to block it out but it doesn't work. The more I block it out, the more I think about her. The more I think about her, the more I think about what could've been.

 _You let her go for the right reasons, Arizona. You know that…_

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. You know what to do…**


	2. Chapter 2

Show Me Heaven: Chapter Two

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ELIZA'S POV

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God, it feels good to be home. It's only been two days and I'm feeling better than I have since I left. Working with Kaden was hard for the most part but it did me the world of good. It gave me the chance to forget. It distracted me. Even if I didn't sleep for the best part of six months, it was just what I needed. Something new. Something meaningful to me. Something to take my mind off of the one woman I thought I'd spend my life with. It was good for me, but now that I'm home…Arizona is on my mind. Honestly, she's never been far from my thoughts but working kept me busy. It kept me sane. I know there is nothing there between us anymore, but it still felt good thinking about her. It would've been easier if she'd done something wrong before she left, but she didn't. She didn't do anything to hurt me and I still live with the guilt I have on a daily basis. I still wake at night thinking about her. I still lie there just staring at the ceiling and remembering her face when she walked away from me. The sadness in her eyes. The fear of never being good enough for anyone. She is worth so much more than that and sometimes, I wish she was here so I could tell her that.

I don't know what she's doing with her life right now but last time I spoke to her, she sounded good. Hopeful, even. She sounded like she was living her life and finally getting herself to that good place we often discussed. It makes me mad that I couldn't be the one to cheer her on as she realized just how much she is worth, but I only have myself to blame. I messed up and the mistake I made was huge. Fucking monumental. I'd like to believe that I've come to terms with my behavior but I haven't. If I had, I wouldn't think about it every day. It wouldn't seep into my thoughts and cause sleepless nights. If I'd come to terms with it, I would have the courage to call her and see how she's doing. _Yeah…I'll never understand what I did or my reasons for it._ Sure, I know the reason, but it isn't good enough. Worrying about losing her will never be a good enough excuse for hurting her.

Dropping down on the couch, I pour myself a large glass of red and settle back. I have a friend due here soon but for now, I just want to be alone with my thoughts. It's what I do best lately but it works well for me. If I can spend a little time thinking about Arizona each day…it helps me. I don't know how and it probably sounds crazy, but it helps me. To cope. To believe that she is out there somewhere and happy. Even if I'm not, she should be. She should be so unbelievably happy that it makes people sick. Smiling at the thought of her dimples popping, my eyes close and her face is all I see. She knows I love her and that is all that matters. I can go on like I am knowing that she has that knowledge.

A knock on my front door pulling me from my thoughts, I climb off the couch and pull it open. "Hey, come on in." Stepping aside, Kaden brushes past me and heads into my home. "You find the place okay?"

"I did." She turns back to face me, a smile settling on her mouth. "Not what I expected, but it's nice."

"What did you expect?" I furrow my brow.

"Something a little bigger." She shrugs. "Maybe a grand piano in the hallway."

"Yeah, that's not me." I laugh as I close the door. "Glass of red for you?"

"Sounds perfect." Watching me as I move through my home, she takes a seat and crosses her legs. "So, what's new with you?"

"Well, since you last called me two days ago...not a lot."

"Sorry, I just like to keep track of things, you know?"

"What things?" I furrow my brow. "Honestly, I was surprised to hear from you. My contract ended…"

"Doesn't mean I'm not interested in you…" Her eyes narrowing, I'm not entirely sure where this conversation is going. "You have some incredible skills, Eliza…"

"Uh, I do." I give her a look of confusion. "How so?"

"I just get that feeling about you." She smirks. Kaden is a very attractive woman but she's not my type. Too busty. Too involved with herself. She knows she's hot and she plays on it. I want someone who is content with themselves but not over the top. It's not necessary to be that way. If you got the looks, you shouldn't need to try. Unless your personality completely sucks and you have to flaunt what you have. "Let me take you to dinner…"

"Um, I'm a little busy for the next few weeks." Giving her an awkward smile, she raises her eyebrow. "I am…"

"But I'm sure you can make a little time for me, Eliza." Her fingertips ghost over my wrist. "We have just spent six months together…"

"If you call that together, I've been doing this totally wrong." I snort. "I've been stuck in hotel rooms and studios for six months…"

"But I was watching you…" She smiles. "Found it hard to keep my eyes off of you…"

"Wow, okay." I clear my throat as I study her face. She looks to be genuine but I know women like her. I've met too many of then since Arizona left me. "I, uh…"

"I don't know why you're fiancé left, Eliza but she's a fool." She gives me a sad smile. "I know that's why you've been avoiding us."

"I didn't know there was an _us._ " I can't help the laugh that falls from my mouth. "I figured I was working for you and that was the end of it…"

"You've been distant." She sighs. "I didn't want to push too hard. I didn't want to pressure you…"

"I appreciate that," I answer honestly. "Just...I'm really not ready for anything with anyone right now, Kaden."

"Including me?" She sits forward a little as she takes my hand in her own. "Can't you maybe just squeeze in a little time for us?"

"I-I don't know…"

"I think you do." She smiles, her lips just millimeters from my own. "I think you know exactly how this is going to go and I'm going to have you to myself."

"I'm really nothing special." I smile. "I fucked up my last relationship and I fully expect to do the same in my next."

"That isn't going to happen." She disagrees. "I'm not like the others." _Damn right you're not. Nobody could compare to Arizona Robbins._ "How about that dinner?"

"Maybe." I create a little space between us. "Next week?"

"Works for me…" Settling back in my seat, I get the impression this woman has never been told 'no' in her entire life. Maybe I'll just avoid her calls. My contract has ended with her so I don't really have any reason to contact her. She also has no reason to remember that I even exist. _God, I hope this evening goes by quickly…and smoothly._

* * *

Waking to the sound of my cell buzzing against the nightstand, I squint a little and my head pounds. Kaden left a little later than expected last night but thankfully, she didn't push too hard. She didn't take matters into her own hands and I'm grateful for that. Honestly, I hoped she would've left earlier than she did but it was nice to have some company. I've avoided being home as much as possible since Arizona left but I have to get back into a routine sooner or later so I'm calling it all off with Kaden. I'll always appreciate the opportunity she gave me but it was work and that's all I ever saw it as.

Taking my cell, I hit the accept button and clear my throat of any sleep. "Hello?"

"Hey, you doing okay, Eliza?"

Smiling when I hear a familiar voice, I lie back and sigh. "Yeah, not too bad."

"You know, I heard your track," Jayden says with a little pride. "Sounds awesome." We've remained friends since I split with my fiancé and he's been there for me more than I thought he would. Nobody knows the real reason why we broke it off but I'm thankful for that. The embarrassment I have for myself is enough to help the guilt eat away at me and I don't need it from any of Arizona's friends. "Maybe we could catch up?"

"I'd like that." I smile. "I'm home all day if you wanted to come over?"

"Sure, I can be there in the next hour?" He suggests. "I mean, it's cool if you're busy but it would be great to see you…"

"No, I'm not busy."

"Okay, well I'll see you in a while then." He replies. "And you should know…she called me."

"Who called you?" I furrow my brow.

"Arizona." _Oh god._ Her name falling from his mouth sounds like it always did. Like we're supposed to be in the same sentence. "I'll tell you all about it when I get there."

"Hurry up." I climb from my bed. "I need to know how she's doing."

"She's good, Eliza." _Oh, thank god._ "I'm on my way." Ending the call, I rush into the bathroom and prepare for my day ahead. The fact Arizona called Jayden means that she's been asking about me. She wouldn't call him otherwise. The guys don't hang out at her place anymore. _Of course, they don't. She doesn't have a place to call her own._ I fucked that up, too. Regardless of where she is living, they don't do their usual thing anymore. I hate that, but maybe she has her reasons for it. Maybe she's changed and I wouldn't recognize her anymore. _I just hope she is happy._ Stripping my clothes from my body, step into the shower and moan as the heat hits my skin. My muscles. Everything feels good right now and that's how I need it to remain. _Arizona isn't mine anymore. She hasn't been for a long time…._

* * *

"So, what's new?" Dropping down beside Jayden, he shrugs and studies my face. "What?"

"Nothing." He smiles. "Just…you are desperate to ask about her so I'd sooner you did exactly that."

"I just miss her, Jayden." I sigh. "I know she doesn't love me anymore but I'm still allowed to miss her, right?"

"Of course." He nods. "But she's doing good. She _is_ good."

"She's dating, isn't she?" I sigh. "I mean, why wouldn't she be dating?"

"I've no idea if she's dating, Eliza." I appreciate that he may not have the answers I want, but surely she's dating. Arizona should definitely be dating. "She loved the song…"

My heart sinking into my stomach, the thought of Arizona listening to my track leaves me with all kinds of feelings. Feelings I'm not sure I want. How the hell am I supposed to think about her more than I already do? Seriously, though. "You should visit her…"

"I can't do that." Jayden disagrees. "I may be close to her but I'm not that close, Eliza."

"You guys always used to hang out." I furrow my brow. "What changed?"

"She changed." He smiles. "She changed _a lot._ "

"Wow, okay." I breathe out. "But she's okay?"

"She's more than okay." He nods, a smile curling on his mouth.

"And my track?" I raise an eyebrow. "She heard it?"

"She definitely heard it." He agrees. "She wanted to contact you to congratulate you but didn't think it was appropriate so she called me instead."

"Appropriate?" Why would she think that? We don't hate each other. We aren't enemies.

"She's under the impression that you're dating." He sits forward in his seat and toys with his coffee cup. "It wasn't my place to correct her and I mean, you could be dating…I don't know."

"I'm not." I disagree. "But even if I was, she knows she can call me. She knows she can talk to me."

"I guess she's just trying to do the right thing for you, Eliza." He takes my hand in his own and squeezes it. "This is hard for the both of you because we all know how much you guys loved each other." _I still do love her._ "I mean, I'm still shocked that it even ended."

"Me too." I give him a sad smile. "Just…wanted different things."

"Yeah, you both keep saying that but it doesn't make any of this any easier for us to watch."

"I'm sorry." I sigh. "Working with Kaden was good for me though, so at least that's something, hey?"

"Yeah." He smiles. "It's great to see you being recognized by the best. Most of us go through our entire lives wanting what you have…you should be proud."

"Just wish I had someone to share it with, you know?"

"You've got me." He throws me a wink. "I know I'm nothing special but you know how proud we all are of you. Cal included."

"Cal hates me." I laugh. "I wouldn't expect anything less, though." Jayden is the only one of the guys who calls and comes by. These are Arizona's people and I get that. It's why I left town for a while and worked on my career. It's why I chose not to stay here and remember what I had when she had just walked away. "Did she say anything else?"

"No." He shakes his head. "I think she wants to see you but she's torn."

"Why?"

"I don't know." He drops his gaze. I suspect he knows more than he is telling me but I'm not sure what he's trying to say. "I should head off and let you get on with your day."

"What did she say, Jayden?"

"She didn't say anything. I just get the impression that she misses you. Maybe just as friends, I don't know…but it's just a feeling I have."

"She knows she can call me." I shrug. "I've never told her I didn't want her to contact me or drop by. She knows this."

"Yeah, you're right." He agrees. "Maybe I'm just hoping for something that isn't there, Eliza. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I wave off his apology. "I know you guys want the best for her but that's not me anymore. I think we all know that."

"I should go." He stands and squeezes my shoulder. "I have some stuff I'm working on if you wanted in on it?"

"Maybe." I smile. "I'll call you, okay?"

"Don't be a stranger, Minnick." He approaches the door. "You're my friend, too."

"I know." I follow behind him. "And I appreciate you checking in on me." Pulling him into a hug, he tightens his grip before releasing me and heading out onto the porch. "Have a great weekend with the guys."

"You know where I am if you want to hang out." Climbing into his car, he throws me a wave and fires up the engine. I know I've been single for the last eight months but it still feels kinda strange being home and alone. It's never how I imagined my future the day I met Arizona but I messed up and I accepted that a long time ago. I had to accept it…I can't change it so why try? Why try when Arizona doesn't want me anymore.

 ** _"Eliza, you lost me in that hotel room last night."_**

Sighing as I close the door, I head to the couch and pull my latest lyrics into my lap. Arizona was right when she told me that music is who I am, so that's what I now focus on. It's my one constant. It's always been there for me. That will never change, and neither will the situation I've found myself in. _You're doing good, Eliza. Focus on that._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	3. Chapter 3

Show Me Heaven: Chapter Three

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _I love this place._ The park. It's calming and it's what I need right now. It's been almost a week since I heard the song that once belonged to me playing at Dani's bar and I'm still undecided about how I feel. It made me smile, but it also upset me. Not because I don't want to hear it, but because it brought back a world of memories for me. It brought back everything good I once had and now it's interfering with my recovery. Eliza would never be a hindrance to me, but I'm unsure about all of this. I'm unsure about the way those lyrics pulled me in and now I'm unable to get my ex off my mind. I may think about her a lot, but lately it's constant. Lately, she is the only thing in my head and I need it to stop. I need it to stop so I can continue with my life. I'm struggling to understand why she would record that particular song if I'm being honest. I mean, does her partner know about the meaning behind it? Does she know that those words were once reserved for me? Eliza's ex. The broken one who needed constant reassurance? The complete mess that was barely surviving some days? I'm not sure she does but I don't have any right to an opinion on Eliza's life or her actions anymore. I don't have a right to _anything_ in her life.

Slowing my pace a little, my mind takes me back to the moment it all began with Eliza. That first day I watched her move in. How her smile literally lit up my life. How her confidence oozed from her without even being close to her. She just had that something about her that I'd never really seen in any woman I'd met before. She was confident, but she was sweet. She was kind. Her eyes told me her total truth and no amount of trying to be someone you're not could ever take that away from her. Genuine. She was completely genuine. That's probably the first thing I fell in love with once we got to know each other. How she was honest with me. How she made me feel. Special. Cared for. Wanted. God, she made me feel wanted like nobody else ever had. How she wished I'd see her as one of the one-night stands I'd become accustomed to. She just wanted me to notice her and want her back. _God, I wanted her more than I ever could have told her._ She deserved respect, though. She deserved to be shown just how beautiful she was and that couldn't ever come in the form of sex. Not in the beginning anyway. She knew that, too. Even if she felt hurt by the fact I blew her off more than once, she knew. Deep down. Honestly, I wouldn't change a thing if we had the chance to do it all again. I'd still respect her how I did.

My body coming to a standstill in the middle of the path I've been walking, I brush a tear from my jawline and release a deep breath. I no longer see crying as being weak but I don't generally do it out in public, either. I mean, there is a time and a place for it…and my local park is not that. I'm supposed to feel happy here. The fresh air filling my lungs. The birds singing giving me that warm feeling deep inside. Usually, I could spend forever here, but once again…Eliza has taken over my thoughts and I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know how to move on from this.

My therapist knows that my situation isn't as simple as just leaving my ex and hating her for the rest of my life. My sessions are solely based on me and the help I've needed for a long time. We don't often speak about Eliza, but she knows that I still love her. My therapist knows that I have to manage what my life is before I even think about the possibility of getting back in touch with Eliza. She knows that I walked away loving her, but she doesn't generally make any kind of comment about it. Sure, she isn't there for that anyway, but sometimes I wish she would just give the freaking answers to everything I need to know. Sometimes I wish she would shake my hand and tell me 'I'm fixed'. Life doesn't work that way though, and I've come to realize that over these past eight months. I've come to realize that Eliza is no longer any of my concern and that the only person I have to concentrate on…is myself.

Dropping down on a nearby bench, I run my fingers through my hair and close my eyes. Breathing is my go-to nowadays but lately, it hasn't really been helping. Lately, I'm not focusing on my breath but instead focusing on one woman. Only one woman. Eliza. _Does she know I think about her?_ I doubt it, but why would she? She has her life and I have mine. She has someone to keep her warm and I have the knowledge that I'm feeling amazing inside. Even if we're no longer together…I do feel damn good about myself. My cell buzzing in my jacket pocket, I pull it out and Dani's name flashes on my screen. "Yo!"

"Hey, pretty lady." A smile settling on my mouth, I roll my eyes playfully. "Are you coming to ladies night?"

"How is that even a question?" I laugh. "Ladies night isn't ladies night without me…"

"Mm, thought you had changed?"

"I have." I agree. "That doesn't mean I can't look. It doesn't mean I can't flirt and feel good."

"Right." Dani breathes out. "So, what's the plan?"

"What do you mean? What's what plan?" I furrow my brow.

"Like, are we doing us tonight or am I to steer clear?"

"Oh, about that…" I clear my throat. "Can, uh…can we talk tonight?"

"Sure." She perks up. "I'll have your favorite bottle of red waiting for you. Maybe we could take it up to my place…"

"One thing at a time, Dan." I shake my head. "We need to talk and I need for you to not get your hopes up."

"Fine, yeah." She sounds a little defeated. "See you tonight, Zo."

"You will." I smile. "Bye, Dani." Ending the call, I shove my cell back into my pocket. I'm feeling good about tonight but I do have to talk this out with my friend. I may hurt her when I end this game we have going but it's not my intention. She knows we won't ever be anything and I really need her to accept that. Tonight I'm enjoying life, with or without Dani.

* * *

Weaving my way through the packed bar, I reach the counter and find my friend rushing around behind it. Ladies night is always crazy busy but it's what makes her tick. Dani loves the women and they love her, there is no mistaking that. Smiling as she catches sight of me, she approaches me and leans over a little. "You want another?"

"Sure, but I can wait." I wave her off. "You're busy."

"You know I'm never too busy for you, Zo." Moving around, she returns with a fresh glass of red for me and sets it down between us. "I have another staff coming in soon so I'll take some time out, okay?"

"Sure, yeah." I agree. "I'll just mill about. See what's on offer." Throwing her a wink, she smirks and heads back to her waiting customers. Turning and heading through the crowd, I reach the dance floor and find a gorgeous brunette watching me. Giving me a smile, she approaches me and takes my hand in her own.

"Wanna dance?" Her lips brushing my ear, I don't have my usual reactions anymore. Normally, my hand would settle on her ass but that's not what I'm about now. I respect the women around here. Even the once I've bedded before. They always leave a little shocked when I blow them off, but I don't need any of that in my life anymore. I'm content with the flirting. It never needs to go any further than that. Giving the brunette in front of me a nod, she pulls me in a little closer and her hips sway, my leg now slipping between her own. "I've seen you around here a lot lately…"

"My kinda place." I shrug. "You new around here?"

"You could say that, yeah." Her hands finding my hips, it feels good having a conversation with another woman. One that doesn't involve anything other than getting to know one another. "You and the owner dating?"

"Dani?" I pull back. "Oh, no." I disagree. "Just friends…"

"Ah, I see." She smirks. "That kind of arrangement, huh?"

"Damn, you really have been watching me…" I narrow my eyes. "I guess I should know your name…"

"Cami." She smiles. "And you are Arizona, right?"

"Uh, y-yeah." I furrow my brow. "How did you kn-"

"The ladies talk, Arizona." She gives me a knowing look. " _A lot_ of the ladies talk, actually…"

"Mm, figured." I roll my eyes. "Did you want to share a drink?" I may be a little brave right now but therapy has totally done everything for my confidence.

"I'd love to share a drink with you…" Her smile wide, she kinda reminds me of Eliza. That's not why I'm attracted to this woman, but yeah…something about her reminds me of my ex. "How about you find us somewhere quiet and I'll head to the bar?"

"Sounds good." Taking my hand in her own, Cami guides me through my friend's bar and I disappear towards the back. It's always quieter back here and it's where I usually spend my evenings. If I don't want to be social, I totally hide back here in one of the booths. Reaching a darkened area, I drop down against the soft leather and sigh. Maybe this could be good for me. I mean, I don't have to do too much too soon but there's nothing wrong in taking a little attention from an attractive woman, right? I deserve some fun like everyone else. I have no intentions of taking this woman home with me tonight, but maybe she will pique my interest, I don't know. She certainly isn't like the other women I'm usually faced with in this bar.

Narrowing my eyes when a familiar scent hits me square in the face, I focus them on a body in the booth next to me. Long dark hair falling down the back of the mysterious being, I feel like I need to see more. I know that scent, but I'm not sure if I'm imagining things right now. _Is that Eliza?_ No, it cant be. She never comes here. I know we don't live too far from each other, but we're pretty good at avoiding one another. Maybe it's just coincidence but I haven't seen her since like two months after we split so I get the impression that she's avoiding me. "Eliza?" I call out, the music fading out.

My stomach tightening as the body turns around, it takes everything I have within me not to hit the floor. _Holy shit, she looks amazing._ Better than ever before, actually. "Hi, Arizona." Giving me a sad smile, I'm beginning to wonder if she knew I was here. I'm beginning to wonder if she is sitting back here alone because she is avoiding me. Just like the past six months.

"Great to see you…" I give her a small smile. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I needed a drink." She breathes out. "Some normality in my life." Furrowing my brow, I stand and close the distance between us. "You look really great."

"Thanks." I smile. "Are you here alone?"

"Yeah." She shrugs. "Just wanted to see what I'd been missing since I left…"

"Did you go someplace?" I ask, dropping down facing her. "Is everything okay?"

"Sure, yeah." She toys with her wine glass. "I took your advice and accepted the contract with Kaden."

"That's awesome." My smile widens and I suddenly feel incredibly proud of her. Even if she isn't mine anymore, I'm allowed to feel proud…I think. "Are you back for long, or?"

"Oh, yeah." She nods. "Her album is almost complete so I'm no longer needed."

"Must be nice to relax now, huh?" Sitting back in my seat, I'm feeling comfortable in her company. It was never about being scared of her…at least, not when I realized what I had to do to be better. I thought it would be awkward if we ever met up again but this right now is anything other than awkward.

"Feels good to be home, that's for sure." Watching her as she studies my face, I'm beginning to realize that it's hurting from smiling so hard. I don't know why I'm feeling like this, but it feels good to be in her presence. So good, actually. "I, uh…I think your date is about to rip my head off." Glancing over my shoulder, I give Cami a smile and she approaches me, her eyes fixed on Eliza.

"She's not my date." I turn back to face Eliza. "Just having a drink with her."

"Well, enjoy." She gives me a small smile and focuses her eyes on the wine glass in front of her. "She's hot."

"Yeah?" I wrinkle my nose. "You think?"

"Unless you suddenly developed a vision impairment, you know exactly how hot she is." Laughing, Eliza seems to be shutting down on me. _Why would she want to be here when I have another woman at the table next to her?_ "Go and be with her, Arizona. I'm leaving soon."

"It was good seeing you." I stand. "And you should know that Dani was playing your stuff in here last week."

"Yeah, Jayden stopped by." She nods. "Said you'd heard it."

"It was really beautiful." I breathe out. "I'm really happy you decided to record something…"

"Me too." She sighs. "You feeling good?" Eliza asks. "I mean, you look good but are you feeling it, too?"

"Yeah," I say with certainty. "Better than ever…"

"I'm happy for you." She stands and grabs her purse. "I should get home."

"Does she make you happy?" Eliza turns back to face me, her brow furrowed. "Your girl…"

"I don't have anyone in my life…"

"Oh." I suddenly feel like an asshole. "I heard you were dating."

"No, that wasn't me." She shrugs. "I've been gone six months. I've barely had time to sleep let alone date."

"Sorry to hear that." This conversation is suddenly becoming a little awkward. I don't want to make pointless conversation with my ex, but I kinda don't want her to leave. I want Cami gone so I can enjoy Eliza's company a little while longer. "Did um, did you want to grab a drink?"

"No, thank you." She creates a little distance between us. "You have company and I should really call it a night."

"Right, yeah." I shove my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. "Take care, okay?"

"You too, Arizona." Watching as Eliza turns her back and walks away, she disappears through the crowd and the loss of contact I'm feeling right now is intense. I wasn't sure how I would feel around my ex, but it felt so much better than I imagined it would. It felt like it was supposed to. Like she was never gone and I was never a mess. It felt like everything I've ever wanted in my life…and more.

"Are you joining me, or?" Cami's voice pulling me from my thoughts, I drop down in the seat facing her and she gives me an awkward smile. "That another one of your ladies?"

"Oh, no." I shake my head. "That was my life…"

"I don't follow." She furrows her brow.

"She was my fiancé at one time." I smile. "I was going to marry her and give her the world."

"So, what changed?"

"Everything." I breathe out. "Everything changed…"

"You know, as much as I want to sit here and pretend that you have an interest in me, I'm not sure I can do that." She pushes her drink away. "You're gorgeous, Arizona…but you don't want to be here. I know you don't."

"You're right." I agree. "But we can share a drink, surely?"

"I guess it wouldn't hurt." Cami shrugs. "It's just drinks…right?"

"Right." Settling back in my seat, my cell buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out, my brow furrowed.

 ** _I know we don't stay in contact, but I wanted you to know just how incredible you look tonight. Sorry if that isn't what you want to hear from me. Be careful and stay safe, Arizona. Eliza x_**

Sighing, my eyes close and my heart pounds in my chest. Maybe it is a mistake to be sitting here with this woman, but I don't know what else to do. Eliza and I aren't together anymore and I'm not sure she would ever want that with me again. I may have walked away to fix myself, but too much damage may have been done between us. We both know that we can never be friends, but I'd like to at least try. After all, she doesn't have anyone here in Chicago. She doesn't have the support from friends that I do so maybe I should try to be that supportive friend. Maybe I should try to move forward with my therapy and implement some of the things I wanted to change. My attitude. My behavior. My life.

 _You fixed yourself…now it's time to truly test it._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	4. Chapter 4

Show Me Heaven: Chapter Four

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _Wow, she looks amazing._ Truly amazing. Something about seeing Arizona last night has left me feeling like I don't even know her anymore. Her eyes are different. Her posture is different. Everything about the woman I once called my own is different and I don't know how to feel about it. I mean, I'm happy that she is looking incredible and doing so well, but now I feel like I've truly lost her. Now I feel like she has completely moved on from us and I'll never get that back. Sure, I know we won't ever be together again, but I can't get over the difference in her. How her confidence is just there…smacking you square in the face. It's all I ever wanted for her so I'm happy, but I'm not with her for that. I'm not the one who watched her develop into the gorgeous and confident woman she now appears to be. _Maybe she never would've got to that place if we were still together._ That only makes me even sadder. It only makes me question whether I was holding her back rather than helping her. Cheering her on. Clearly, I was. Clearly, I was a mistake to her. _Damn, I wish I hadn't seen her last night._

Honestly, I'd gone to that bar with the hope of finding someone or something to take my mind off of her. It turned out to just be another mistake in the long line of ones I've already made. An epic failure. That's what I've become. I don't know how or when that happened, though. I've always believed that we were made for each other. I've always believed that we were perfect together. Did she ever want to leave before the night at the hotel happened? Did she want to sit me down and talk…explain how I was holding her back? I feel like I need answers to my questions but I don't even know how to begin approaching it. I need closure, but I also don't want it to be our final goodbye. I need to let her go…but I don't want to.

She told me she needed to be alone and I did that. I let her be and I allowed her whatever space she needed. I know she said I lost her, and I fully understand that, but in the back of my mind, I always hoped she would call. In the back of my mind, I hoped we would work things out and maybe one day, we could've tried again. Seeing her last night has shown me that she doesn't want to try again, though. If she did, she would've called by now. She would've made some kind of contact and we would at least be friends. That we would at least know what was going on in each other's lives. You know, just friendly conversation. I didn't get any of that, though. I mean, she didn't even know I'd left to further my career. She didn't even know that I was still single. _She doesn't know me._ Not the me I used to be when I was in her life. When I felt amazing about myself and my future. She doesn't know and judging by our conversation last night, she doesn't care.

She may have offered me a drink, but that's just her way of being kind. It's just her way of trying to be friendly because we found ourselves in a situation with one another. Had I known she would be there, I wouldn't have chosen to drink there. I wouldn't have dressed up nice for the first time in a long time and gone anywhere near that place. Maybe I should've known she would be there but I just didn't think. I didn't think and now I'm the one about to have sleepless nights again. I'm the one who's life is about to fall apart once and for all but Arizona is thriving. _God, she looked so happy. So content with her life._ I'm so excited for what is to come for my ex but the fact of the matter remains…she is happier without me.

Glancing down at the box on the coffee table in front of me, I take my cell in my hands and release a deep breath. When Arizona left, I was clearing out some things and I found a box that belonged to her. I don't know if she knows it's still here but it's time to hand it back. It's filled with things belonging to or reminding her of her dad so it should be with her. It should be with its owner. Where it belongs. I wanted to hand it back when I originally found it but I didn't believe either of us were in the right frame of mind. It had only been a few weeks and the thought of seeing her broke my heart. I know things got better between us for a while but it slipped to the back of my mind and now I'm sitting here…the box still in my life and in my home.

 ** _Sorry to bother you. I have some things that belong to you that I think you will want. Eliza x_**

 ** _Hey, you're not bothering me. Thanks, I'll swing by. Az x_**

Setting my cell back down, I rest back on the couch and close my eyes. I want nothing more than to spend time with my ex but it won't work. I can't be her friend and watch her new found confidence bag her the most amazing woman in the world. I was supposed to be that for her and its only left me feeling completely worthless. Knowing that she is happier without me is making me feel physically sick and I don't know how to work through it. I don't know how to work through any of this that I'm feeling right now. I thought that going away would do me some good. I thought I'd return feeling better and positive but after last night, I've come to the conclusion that my life is just as fucked up as it was before I hit the road.

 _Fucking failure…_

* * *

God, my heart is in my mouth. Arizona is due here any minute now and I'm not sure how I feel about her. I mean, I love her. I love her more than anything and I always will but she's in a totally different place now. She's so much more than she used to be. I always knew she had it deep inside of her, but to see it now…to see her living so beautifully, it kills me inside. I want to be with her through it all. I want to be by her side and loving her unconditionally. I want her but she isn't mine. _Damn it._ Maybe I should sell up and leave town. Maybe I should start again elsewhere where I won't be reminded of her. What we had. The future I could see. Maybe I should begin again and take a leaf out of her book. Find myself.

Releasing a deep breath as I pace the floor, I hear the familiar roar of her engine as she approaches my house. The house that was once our home. The house in which I proposed. The house we spent so much time in making love. God, what I'd give for her to come home and just be with me. It isn't my place to even instigate anything like that, though. I lost that right the night I hurt her and I'm not sure I could handle the rejection. I'm not sure I could watch her or listen to her telling me no. Telling me that we can't be together. I already know we can't but it doesn't mean I don't want that. It doesn't mean I don't miss her every minute of the day. She knows I'll always love her but my love isn't enough. I'm not sure it ever would've been either.

Approaching the door, I think about just handing over her box of belongings but that would just be rude. She has made the effort to drive over here, so no…I can't just hand it over and close the door. I'm better than that. A light knocking startling me from my thoughts, I glance down my body and sigh. Yeah, I may have changed once I knew she was coming by but it was a waste of time. I know it was. _She doesn't see me how she used to anymore._ "Hey…" Her smile blinding me when I open the door, I give her a small one of my own and step aside.

"Did you want to come in?"

"Sure, yeah." She shrugs. "What exactly is it that you have that belongs to me?" She shoves her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and turns back to face me. "I figured I'd taken everything I needed."

"It's a box of things you brought from next door…"

"My dad's stuff?" Her eyes widen. "It's here?"

"Y-Yeah." I furrow my brow. "It's been here since we moved in together."

"Damn, I thought I'd left it next door when I sold up." She shakes her head. "Had a few sleepless nights over that." She smiles. "Thanks for asking me to come and collect it."

"It belongs to you…"

"I know." She nods. "Just…didn't expect to hear from you is all."

"I've known about it for months, Arizona," I admit. "When I found it, I wasn't doing so good and I couldn't see you. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." She waves off my worry. "It's no big deal. It was safe here with you, so?"

"Still…I should have told you it was here." I give her a sad smile. "Stop you from worrying about it."

"Well, I've got it now…" Grabbing it from the table, she peeks inside and a gorgeous smile settles on her mouth. "You good?" She glances up at me. "Kinda bolted last night at the bar."

"Y-Yeah. It's not really my scene in there anyway." I shrug. "You have a good night?"

"Guess so." She sets the box down on a table near to the door. "A little busier than usual but whatever."

"So, what's happening with you?" I ask. "Did you want coffee?"

"Actually, coffee would be awesome." She shrugs her jacket from her shoulders. "If you have the time…"

"Yeah, no plans." I round the counter and pour two coffees. I prepared a pot in case she chose to stay but I wasn't hopeful. "Same as usual?" I raise my eyebrow as I glance up. _Why is she watching me?_

"Yup." She drops down on the couch and sits forward, her elbows resting on her knees. "How was it working with Kaden?"

"Tiring." I sigh. "Hard."

"But you made it through the other side." She smiles, her eyes breaking my heart. "And you bagged yourself your own track."

"That was just something and nothing…" I set her coffee down in front of her and take the opposite end of the couch. "Playing around with some things, I guess."

"Well, it sounded incredible so playing around really suits you." Laughing, she shakes her head and holds up her hands. _God, that laugh._ "Sorry, that sounded terrible."

"I know what you meant." Running my fingers through my hair, I study her immaculate profile and my heart twists. "You seem…different."

"Yeah?" Her smile widens. "You noticed?"

"Kinda hard not to notice, Arizona." I give her a knowing look. "You're looking amazing and yeah…I noticed the moment I saw you."

"So, therapy is working for me then, huh?"

"T-Therapy?" I almost choke on my coffee. "Sorry, just why?"

"Why not?" She shrugs. "I had my own demons that I needed to kick out of my life and therapy was the way forward for me."

"I'm glad you're feeling good." I give her my own genuine smile. _By demons, does she mean me?_ "It's clearly working wonders for you."

"And you?" She raises her eyebrow. "You doing okay? I mean, now that you're home and relaxing."

"Great." I roll my eyes. "Thinking of changing things up a little but that has only just become an option for me, so?"

"Changing things up here?" She glances around. "I can help if you needed some…" _Yeah, she isn't hearing what I'm saying._

"Help?"

"Pretty handy when it comes to a can of paint." She smiles. "I don't have much work on right now so if you needed someone to help out, it would be my pleasure."

"Why would you want to help?" We may be going totally off topic here but I don't care. She is here and she is talking to me so that is good enough.

"Why wouldn't I?" She gives me a look of confusion. "Look, tell me to mind my own business…but you seem like you could use a friend right now."

"I need more than a friend but okay." I snort. "Arizona, I'm not talking about fixing this place up. I'm talking about selling up and leaving town."

"O-Oh." She toys with her coffee cup. "You don't like it here?"

"It's not that I don't like it." I disagree. "It's actually great here…"

"So, why are you thinking of leaving?" She studies my face.

"I have nothing here…" I breathe out. "None of my friends are here."

"About that." She clears her throat. "I was hoping maybe we could hang out a little more. You know, do 'friend' things?"

"That would be nice." I lie. "I'm just not sure what I'm doing with my life right now and I think a change could be good for me. I mean, look at you…a change has been incredible for you."

"It has." She gives me a nod in agreement. "Just…think about it before you leave, okay?"

"Think about what?"

"If you're doing the right thing." She smiles. "You have a life here now. I know things don't feel good for you right now but it will get better."

"You think?" What is she trying to say? Is she trying to tell me that she sees something with me again one day? _Yeah, she just said she wanted to be friends._

"I do." She sits back and relaxes, her confidence a little intimidating right now. "I mean, you could leave and start again or you could make the best of what you already have here and allow me to help you to change this place up a little."

"I don't know." I drop my gaze, my grip on my coffee cup tightening. "Can I get back to you on that?"

"You know it." She agrees. "I should probably leave soon. I have to meet a client in the next hour."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you."

"You haven't." She shakes her head. "It's been nice seeing you, Eliza."

"Yeah?" I wrinkle my nose. "You don't hate me?"

"No, not at all." She sits forward a little. "I hated myself. For allowing everything to consume me. You took the brunt of it but look at us now. You're working with the best and I'm feeling awesome. It worked out in the end, right?"

"If that's how you feel." I nod. "I'm hardly living my best life but this was always about you."

"I don't follow." She furrows her brow.

"I just mean that you are the one who needed to feel good and now you are…without me." Something changing between us, Arizona clears her throat and I feel like I've said something I shouldn't have said. "Sorry, I'm lowering the mood."

"No, it's okay." She runs her fingers through her hair. "So, you'll think about my offer?"

"Sure." I sigh. "And thanks for staying for coffee."

"Maybe we could do it again sometime?" She suggests. "If you have time…"

"I'd like that." I smile. If I can't be with her romantically, I should try to at least be civil with her. She is offering to help me but I'm not sure I'll be sticking around. I'm not sure of anything after this conversation but once she leaves, I can process everything. Once she walks out of that door, I can fall apart like I fully intend on doing.

"Call me, okay?" She stands and slips her jacket over her shoulders. She has this beautiful glow going on right now and it's making me feel less than ever before. I'm so used to being the one helping her that I don't even know how to act around Arizona anymore. She isn't fragile and she isn't lost. She is totally at peace and I know that I will only ruin it all for her if I even suggest dinner or something more. I can feel it. I can feel the troubles already brewing inside of me. Turning back to face me as she reaches the door, Arizona pulls me into a hug and I'm totally caught off guard by it. "Thanks for contacting me, Eliza." Releasing me from her grip, the loss of contact is immense. It may have lasted all of a few seconds but its more than I've had from her in eight months. Since the last time she was here. The day she walked away from me. From us.

"B-Bye, Arizona." My stomach somersaulting, I try to steady myself against the frame of the door but I can feel my knees weakening. My entire body, actually. Her engine firing up, I close the door and rest back against it. Tears slipping from my eyes, I can't bear this much longer. It hurts too much. Seeing her and being around her…it's way too much for me to take. She is so good right now and I'm the total opposite. How the hell am I ever supposed to be friends with her when I want nothing more than to kiss her. Hold her. Make her mine again. I need to seriously get out of my head and decide what is best for me. Nothing will ever come of us again and I know that. I know that my mistake was enough to crush everything we had and yeah, it's done that…and then some.

 _Let her get on with her life. Her amazing life that doesn't involve you…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. Hoping for one or two more tonight if you guys want them?**


	5. Chapter 5

Show Me Heaven: Chapter Five

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

"Hello?" Bringing my cell to my ear, a familiar voice filters through. "What's up, Dan?"

"You coming over for lunch?" She asks.

"Oh, sorry but that's a no go." I keep up my pace, my feet hitting the sidewalk. "I have plans, sorry."

"Oh." She sounds surprised. "Anything exciting?"

"Just…helping Eliza out with some stuff." I breathe out as I cross the street. "Maybe I'll see you tonight?"

"You guys are back together?"

"No, just friends," I reply. "I offered my help and she's taken me up on it."

"How very heroic of you." Dani scoffs. "She's totally expecting more from you."

"Uh, okay?"

"I mean, you've spent the past six months going through therapy and now you're going back to her?" She sounds mad but this isn't her business. Honestly, it never was. "You're crazy, Zo!"

"You think I was in therapy because of her?" I laugh. "I was in therapy because of myself, Dani."

"Sure, you keep telling yourself that." She sighs. "See you around." Her call ending, I glance down at the screen and furrow my brow. I don't know what the hell her problem is but I'm not here for it. Not at all. If she wants to be an asshole, I'll stop hanging out at the bar, it's as simple as that. If she's going to act like a child because I stopped what was going on between us, I can keep my distance. It really is no problem.

Shoving my cell back in my pocket, I reach Eliza's place but her car isn't on the drive. Deciding to just sit for a few minutes, I'm beginning to wonder what my ex is expecting from me. She wouldn't do anything to hurt me, I know that…but does she expect something more with my being here? I won't lie, she's constantly on my mind…I'm just not sure I'm there yet. I'm not sure I can give her what she wants. We've met twice since we broke it off so it's going to take a little more than random pointless conversation to bring us back together. Taking my cell in my hand, I bring up Jess' contact information and hit the call button. She has come to know me better than anyone lately so a little advice from her surely cant do any harm.

"Hey, Zo." Her voice settling me a little, I smile and release a slight sigh.

"I'm not doing anything wrong by being at Eliza's place, right?"

"I can't answer that." She replies. "This is totally your own decision, Arizona."

"I know but I want your opinion, Jess." I breathe out. "What do you think about everything that's going on right now?"

"Honestly?" She asks.

"Yeah, honestly…"

"Well, I think you are in the best position you've ever been in. At least, in the years I've known you." Shifting, I make myself a little more comfortable on the top step of the porch. "Mentally you are stronger than ever…"

"That's how I feel." I agree. "But what about Eliza?"

"What about her?" Jess counters.

"I don't want her to think that I'm here for anything other than what I'm here for." Okay, I'm not sure that even makes any sense but it did in my head. "I don't want to hurt her…"

"Why would you hurt her, Arizona?"

"Because I can see how much she misses us." I sigh, my fingers running through my hair. "I know she is desperately seeking something from me but I don't know what to do."

"Where has that confidence gone?" My best friend laughs. "Where is the woman I've come to be very fond of lately?"

"Oh, I'm still here." I scoff. "Ain't going anywhere."

"So, go in there with that attitude and whatever happens, happens." She suggests. "I know you still love her, Arizona."

"Of course, I do." I smile. "Hard not to."

"So, what are you waiting for?"

"Well, Eliza." I shrug. "She isn't here." Laughing, I know Jess is rolling her eyes right now. I don't feel bad about being here but I also know that I have to keep some kind of distance. I'm not completely sure that Eliza even wants anything with me anymore and even though deep down I believe she does, I have to be certain. I have to know that I'm not reading too much into this. "Okay, I gotta go." Her car pulls up the drive. "I'll see you in a few hours."

Standing, I end my call and watch as my ex climbs from her car. She looks tired but she is still as beautiful as ever. "Hi, Arizona." Grabbing some stuff from the trunk of her car, she heads up the porch and unlocks the door. "I forgot you were coming, I'm sorry."

"I can leave." I furrow my brow. "If you have things to do, it's no problem."

"Just…not feeling myself today." It's been a week since I was last here and Eliza seems totally different to how she was last week. She seems distant. Withdrawn.

"Are you okay?" I ask, worry evident in my voice.

"I'm not sleeping." She gives me a sad smile as she heads into her home. "I'm okay, thanks." Following her inside, she drops her purse to the floor and turns back to face me. "Where do you want to start?"

"Maybe you could just relax for a while and I'll get everything set up. Cover the furniture."

"No, you're here to help." She disagrees. "Not do it all yourself."

"Eliza, just relax." I head out onto the drive and close the trunk of her car. Heading back inside, I find her watching me and I furrow my brow. "What's up?"

"Nothing…just feels weird having you here."

"Do you want me to leave?" I ask. I know she called me two days ago agreeing to this but I don't have to be here. Not if she doesn't want me here. "Maybe we should rearrange."

"I need you to know something…" She clears her throat as she tugs at her fingers. "I, uh…I'm selling up."

"You've decided?" I raise an eyebrow. "You've definitely decided."

"Y-Yeah." She glances up, a sadness in her eyes. "This isn't my home anymore."

"I don't understand."

"It hasn't been my home since you left, Arizona." Her eyes close momentarily. "Nothing feels good here, so I've made the decision and I have a guy coming in a couple of days to go through everything with me."

"Where will you go?" My voice almost breaks but I don't want her to see that side of me right now. Hell, I don't want to see that side of me. "Have you found somewhere?"

"No, not yet." She pulls herself up onto a stool at the kitchen island. "I'll figure it all out, though."

"Wow…" I breathe out. "Figured you would change your mind."

"Why would I?" She gives me a look of confusion. "I'm existing here for the sake of it and trust me, it would be a damn sight easier to exist elsewhere."

"It's me, isn't it?" I feel so disappointed in myself right now. "You don't want to be around me anymore."

"I wish that were true." She gives me a sad smile. "But no, that's not what this is about."

"So, talk to me…"

"Right now, I can't." I can see the tiredness in her body and honestly, I really don't want to do this with her right now. I don't want her to say something she shouldn't because tiredness has taken over. That happened last time and it ultimately ended us. "Do you think maybe we could meet for drinks tonight?"

"If that's what you want, yeah." I smile. "Look, I think we should do this another time. You know, fixing this place up."

"Yeah, you're right." She agrees. "I'm sorry you came all the way over here…"

"I'm not." I back up and head for the door, my voice as certain as it's ever been. "Means I got to see you for five." Her features changing, I probably shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have said it, but it doesn't mean I didn't mean it. I need to get home and work through this before this evening. We both know that we love each other but we need to talk. I need to talk. Eliza may decide that she still wants to leave and I'd never stop her, but we deserve to talk if nothing else. "Seven at the bar, okay?"

"Seven sounds good." She follows me to the door and sighs. "Thank you, Arizona."

"For what?" I turn back to face her.

"For not kicking me out of your life…"

* * *

Okay, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling positive. Eliza has asked me to join her for drinks and I couldn't have turned that offer down, even if I wanted to. She made a comment earlier about kicking her out of my life and I'm not sure what she means by that. I mean, does she think I don't want any contact with her whatsoever? It wasn't my intention to make her feel that way but when my therapy began, I had to remove her from my life. I had to focus on what was going on with me and not anyone else. Sure, I never told her I couldn't speak to her, but one thing led to another and contact between us just kinda faded away. It wasn't intentional, I don't think…but I guess she got a little busy with work and being away with Kaden. That was okay, though. It was okay because at the time, it was exactly what I needed. Space. The alone time. Alone with my thoughts and nothing else. It's not something I ever imagined myself doing but I've enjoyed it. I've enjoyed worrying about nothing but myself.

Pushing the door to Dani's bar open, I step inside and it's a little quieter than I expected right now. It makes no difference to me since I'm only here for the company of one woman but it's surprising that this place is so quiet on a Friday evening. "Hey…" I approach the bar and give Dani an awkward smile. We haven't spoken since her little outburst this afternoon but I'm not concerned. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, Dani included. "Bottle of red, please…"

"Meeting someone?" She scoffs.

"I am." I smile. "For a change, I am actually meeting someone."

"What is it?" She snorts. "A quick drink then a fuck in the back of a cab?"

"Excuse me?" I raise an eyebrow.

"The way you're dressed…" Her eyes trail my body. "Whoever you're meeting won't be able to keep their eyes _or_ hands off of you…" _God, I wish that was how my night was going to go._ I'm hardly dressed like anything special, though. My jeans and my black shirt. Sure, I look kinda hot in it, but that wasn't intentional. Not at all. "Who is it?"

"That is none of your business." I give her a knowing look. "Can I get that bottle of red, or?"

"Sure." She shrugs. "Kinda hurts knowing you would bring a date here after the time we've spent together."

"So, you want me to leave?" I ask. "I can do that…"

"Do what you want." She sets the bottle down in front of me with two glasses. "Don't come crawling back to my bed when she blows you off, though."

"Fuck you, Dani." Throwing cash down on the counter, I take my wine and head for the same booth I found Eliza at last week. I don't think she is here yet, but I'm early so I'm not worried. Dani's behavior is a little concerning but there isn't a lot I can do about her or her attitude right now. The only thing I have to concentrate on right now is Eliza and the possibility of us one day being something more. I want that more than anything, but we should take this slow. We should just enjoy each others company for a little while and not put any pressure on ourselves. It can't be that hard. _Providing that is what my ex wants, anyway._

My heart rate increasing a little when I catch sight of Eliza, I close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing. I just have to remember to be honest. Open. Truthful. I have to remember how far I've come and go from there. She's looking absolutely gorgeous tonight but I kind of expected that. She looks amazing without even trying. "Hi." I stand and wave her over.

"Hi." She doesn't sit so I pull her into a hug. "Have you been here long?" She asks as we pull apart.

"Five minutes." I shrug as we both take a seat facing each other. "I got us a bottle of red. Is that okay?"

"Of course, yeah." She smiles. "Sorry about earlier, Arizona."

"Don't worry." I hand her a glass. "You looked tired."

"I'm fried." She admits. "But you came all that way and I'm sorry about that."

"I wanted to see you so I didn't mind."

"Why did you want to see me?" She furrows her brow. "I mean, if you aren't able to help me that's okay. I was surprised when you offered anyway."

"No, it wasn't that." My hand settles over her own and that connection hits me harder than it has in a long time. "I just…I wanted to see you."

"But why?"

"No reason." I tilt my head a little as I study her face. "Why are you leaving, Eliza?"

"I have to."

"Why, though?" I ask. "Truth time, okay?"

"I can't stay here with you." She admits. "I have to leave so I can move on from you."

"Do you want to move on?" I dip my head a little and find her eyes. "Do you want to move on from me? From us?"

"I have no choice but to move on, Arizona." She shakes her head, a slight scoff falling from her mouth. "Look at you…" She motions towards me. "You look fucking amazing and you did that _without_ me in your life."

"What does that even mean?" I furrow my brow. "You think I didn't want you in my life? You think I don't need you?"

"I think you've answered your own question…" She smiles. "These past eight months have proved that I was a part of your problem."

"No." I shake my head. "Don't ever think that."

"Arizona, it's okay." She laces our fingers together. "You can be honest with me. I know I messed everything up between us. That is why I have to leave. It's why you should just be the incredible woman you are…"

"I don't want you to leave," I admit. "I thought you had met someone, Eliza."

"I didn't…"

"I know that now, but I thought you had and I didn't want to ruin anything for you."

"I appreciate that." She smiles. "I just wanted you to call me…"

"I'm sorry I didn't call," I say with complete honesty. "I wanted to, but I did the right thing by not calling. I looked after myself and I fixed myself."

"I'm so proud of you…" Her voice breaks.

"Hey…" I give her a knowing look. "No crying."

"Sorry." She brushes a tear from her jawline. "I'm so very sorry for hurting you, Arizona. If you can ever forgive me, I need you to know that I'm so sorry."

"I do forgive you." I smile. "The moment that happened, I knew I needed help. I knew I needed to see someone and fix everything I felt."

"Why?"

"Because I shouldn't have reacted like that." I shake my head. "I shouldn't have freaked out when you did what you did."

"But I hurt you…how else were you supposed to react?"

"Better." I nod. "I should've reacted better." It's true. I realized how I'd reacted once I'd sat down alone and thought about it all. "Yes, you did hurt me but I could've handled it better."

"It still shouldn't have happened." She drops her gaze.

"But it did and now I'm feeling freaking amazing, Eliza." I tighten my grip on her hand. "You may think that I did all of this to erase you from my life but you were very much in my mind the entire time."

"Yeah?" She glances up at me and gives me a small smile. "You thought about me?"

"All the time." I settle back in my seat. "Just…please don't leave?"

"What are we, Arizona?" She asks. She deserves some answers, I know that. "Will we ever be anything again?"

"We're friends, Eliza." I study her face. "We are friends and we are going to take this slow and just go with it, okay?"

"Take it slow?" She furrows her brow. "Take what slow?"

"Getting back to us." I narrow my eyes. "If that is what you want?"

"I want us more than anything in this world." She breathes out. "I just…I thought you hated me. I thought you couldn't even bear to look at me."

"I'd have given anything to have the opportunity to look at you…"

"You look so good tonight." She leans in a little and her eyes trail my body. "Really good."

"Thank you." I give her a dimpled smile. "So, you wanna just share this bottle of wine and enjoy each other's company?"

"I'd like that." She agrees. "As friends…right?"

"Mm…" I clear my throat as I bring my glass up to my lips. "Friends." A comfortable silence falling between us, my body is totally relaxed. I didn't expect anything less if I'm being honest but I hate the fact that Eliza thought I hated her. She may have hurt me, but I'm not sure I ever actually hated her. Disappointed, yes…but hated her? No, never. Glancing around the bar, my eyes land on Dani and I can see her watching us with pure venom in her eyes. She may have been attached to me, but that isn't my fault. She knew what we were and she knew I still loved Eliza. Maybe that is why she was so offended by the idea of me being at her place earlier. Maybe that's why she kept me here whenever I was missing my ex and wanted to see her. I love that woman like a best friend but I swear, she isn't going to fuck with my life. She can try, but it won't work. I'm in the best place I've ever been and there is no way she is ruining that for me. There is no way anyone is getting in between Eliza and I. Not now…and not in the future. "So, tell me all about your music and what you've been doing…" I focus my eyes back on the only woman I care about in this bar. We still need to talk but right now I want to relax with her. Right now, talking isn't needed.

"Oh…" She rolls her eyes. "Where to begin…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated.**


	6. Chapter 6

Show Me Heaven: Chapter Six

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Arizona is here. She's in my home and she's wearing that fucking white tank top and I'm dying. I swear, I can feel my actual soul leaving my body. It's been almost two weeks since we met at the bar for drinks and honestly, the rhythm we have going right now is perfect. It's just nice to enjoy each other without worrying we may do or say something wrong. I'm sure one of us will do that at some point, but right now…it's great. Naturally, I want more. Naturally, I want to push her against the wall she is painting. I mean, have you seen her? Who wouldn't want to take her against the nearest door? Drag her to the floor and rip those clothes from that gorgeous freaking body? _Ugh, I have to stop this before I send myself insane_. I have to stop, but I'm struggling to do that.

The radio is playing low in the background and yeah, she's humming along. Arizona _never_ hums to the radio. Never. It's just unheard of. She is, though. Right now, I'm watching her humming to the radio, her hips moving ever so slightly. _God, she's a fucking masterpiece._ Leaning back against the counter, my eyes trail her body and I take my bottom lip between my teeth. I'm not sure she even knows I'm in the room but I'm okay with that. The longer she doesn't realize, the longer I can watch her. The moment she turns around, I have to change my behavior. Why? Because I'm taking this at her pace. I'm doing what she asked and I'm being her friend. Her' friend' who undresses her with her eyes. Her 'friend' who goes dizzy at her scent. Her 'friend' who has been fucked by her better than anyone else. _Okay, stop now._

After we spoke at the bar, I was relieved to learn that she didn't want me out of her life. She genuinely thought I'd met someone else and God love her, she wanted me to just be happy with my nonexistent girlfriend. She truly believed that I'd moved on and yeah, that was never going to happen. I'd like to believe that I could've one day moved on, but I know in my heart that Arizona is all I'd have ever thought about. She's that kind of woman. She leaves a mark and that mark is there to stay for eternity. It truly is. Glancing at the clock, it's a little before five in the evening and she has been working her ass off for hours. I should probably call it a day but I kinda don't want her to leave. I'd like to believe she is enjoying herself but I don't imagine she is. Who wants to spend their weekend painting someone's home? I know I don't and that's why I'm currently watching and observing.

"You hungry?" I pull Arizona from her hard work. "Want me to order something in?"

"If that would be okay." She smiles as she turns to face me, paint smeared across her forehead. My own smile widening, she furrows her brow. "What?"

"Nothing." I shake my head. "Good job."

"No, why are you laughing at me." She fixes her hand on her hip and gives me a serious look. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, not at all." I wave off her question. "As you were."

"You know, it's not nice to laugh at people, Eliza." I turn back to face her and give her a sad smile. Throwing a rag her way, it hits her square in the face and I can't help the laugh that rumbles in my throat. "Okay…" It drops to the floor. "Now that is just fucking rude."

"Sorry, just…you have a little paint on your face." I shrug. "The rag hitting you? That was just pure luck."

"Mm, sure it was." She rolls her eyes playfully. "Maybe I could get a beer as an apology?"

"I think I can work with that." I nod as I approach the refrigerator. I only have beer in because I knew she was coming by so Arizona may as well drink it up. "Here…" Approaching her, she gives me one of her best smiles and clears her throat.

"I've enjoyed today." She says with confidence. "It's been nice."

"Yeah, it has." I sigh as I rest back against a wall that hasn't been painted yet. "I want to tell you to stop working but if I do, are you going to leave?"

"Um…" Glancing at the clock, she shrugs. "I was supposed to be headed to the bar but I can cancel."

"No, don't change your plans for me." I wave off her suggestion. "I've just really enjoyed your company today."

"So, hand me my cell and I'll cancel my plans." She says, nonchalantly. "It's no big deal."

"Arizona, I've had you all day. You should be with your friends if you have already arranged to see them."

"You're my friend, no?" She narrows her eyes as she sips her beer. _Fucking hell, she is killing me right now._ "I mean, that was the impression I was under…"

"I am your friend." A blush creeps up my face and I seriously don't know what is wrong with me today. "But you have _other_ friends, too."

"Mm, they're not as easy on the eye as you are, though." Raising an eyebrow, she suddenly holds up her hands and clears her throat. "Sorry."

"Don't be." I shrug as I push off the wall. "It's good to know we're thinking the same things." Heading to the kitchen, I take out some menus and set them down on the counter. "What do you feel like?"

"Oh, I'm easy." She shrugs. _Yeah, I wish._ "I'll just cancel tonight and then I'll finish this wall, okay?"

"Please don't cancel." I give her a pleading look. "We can just hang out through the week, it's fine." Watching as she taps away on her cell phone, she sends her message and locks her cell before throwing it down on the sheets covering the couch.

"Done." Turning her back, she continues finishing the wall she's been painting and I watch her ass move perfectly in her jeans. She's looking better than ever physically, but she's always looked good to me. She's always looked mouth-wateringly good.

"You didn't have to do that." I rest my elbows on the counter and continue watching her. "Arizona…" I know she is ignoring me right now but it won't work with me. "Hey…"

"Mm?" She glances over her shoulder.

"Uncancel your plans…" I give her a knowing look.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure you can't uncancel plans, Eliza." She laughs. "Once you cancel, you cancel."

"So, you could show up and surprise them…"

"Yeah, it wouldn't be much of a surprise." She shakes her head. "I was meeting Dani."

"So?" I furrow my brow. "Would she not be happy to see you?"

"Nope." Returning to her task, I feel like there is more to this conversation. There is more, but I'm not sure Arizona wants to discuss it.

"O…kay," I say, hoping for her to elaborate. "Is there a reason why, or?"

"She hates me right now." She shrugs. "Not my problem." Yeah, she doesn't seem to believe it's her problem but something has clearly happened between them.

"How could she hate you? You guys have been friends for years…"

"Yeah, um…we kinda ruined that." _Oh. She's been sleeping with her._ "You should probably know…"

"Know what?" I decide to play stupid.

"How about you order that food and we will discuss it more…"

"Sure, yeah." I clear my throat. Ugh, I hate that Dani had her whilst I didn't. I've always been unsure about her but knowing that they've been sleeping together kinda leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. _She was supposed to be mine._ "If you want to discuss it?"

"Guess so." She sets her paintbrush down and sighs. "I don't have a problem discussing it."

"Did you want to grab a shower or anything?" I take a menu in my hand and pick up my cell. "Just grab something from the closet."

"You wouldn't mind…" She furrows her brow.

"No, not at all." I shake my head. "You go and shower and I'll order, yeah?"

"Yeah, um…thanks." She gives me a soft smile. "I won't be long." Watching Arizona walk away, the thought of her showering just above me is giving me all kinds of feels. Feelings I shouldn't be having right now. Sure, I'm entitled to them, but so long as I keep them to myself, everything will be okay.

* * *

Finishing my last piece of pizza, I rest back on the couch and release a deep breath. It's been a while since I've enjoyed an evening like this but I'm still not sure Arizona canceling her plans was the right thing to do. I don't want her to think she has to be here. Of course, I want her here...it's just not as simple as dropping everything for me. At one time, it would've been exactly what I expected but not anymore. Times have changed. _We_ have changed. Watching Arizona out the corner of my eye, she seems relaxed enough and I've got to admit, I could totally get used to the new her. It's kinda nice to see. _That's a lie, it's amazing to see._

"Dinner good?" I clear my throat.

"Mm, I haven't done that in a long time." Her body covered by my clothes, I feel like I want to sit a little closer to her but I'm not sure that's what she wants right now. "It's been good." She takes my hand in her own. "Really good."

"The best evening I've had since forever…" I turn my hand over and lace our fingers together. "Thank you...for staying. For sharing dinner with me."

"My pleasure." She breathes out.

"So, you got any plans for the rest of the weekend?"

"Figured I'd get this place finished so you can do whatever else you need to do." She shrugs. "No time like the present, right?"

"Can we not finish it another time?" I ask, my voice holding a little sadness. "I just...once it's finished, I won't see you much."

"You won't?"

"Well, no." I turn to face her a little better. "You won't have any reason to come by."

"But if I wanted to hang out, I could?" She raises her eyebrow. "When you're not busy?"

"Of course." I laugh. "The more often, the better."

"Awesome." She smiles. "The bar was a good choice to me at first but I've no reason to really be there anymore…"

"About that." I study her face. "You said you and Dani aren't on good terms right now?"

"No, we haven't been for a few weeks." She breathes out. "I mean, I don't feel bad but she is being a complete bitch."

"So, if she's being a bitch…why were you headed there tonight?"

"I guess it just became my norm." She admits. "And maybe I want to believe that we are still friends, I don't know."

"Is it possible for you to be friends?"

"I think so." She nods. "She's just really mad at me right now and there is no explaining things to her. She doesn't want to know."

"What exactly do you need to explain?" I ask. "I mean, tell me to mind my own business…"

"That nothing will ever happen between us again." She tries to gauge my reaction but I don't really have one. "Just…we were there for each other, you know?"

"Mmhmm…"

"I guess she got attached even though she knew I didn't want anything serious." Running her fingers through her hair, she snuggles into my sweater. "We've been doing this on and off for years but she's suddenly become super attached and I don't know what to do…"

"You've told her that you don't want a relationship?" I ask and she nods. "Then I'm not sure there is any more you can do about it, Arizona. I mean, if she wants to let your friendship go because of it, it's her loss."

"You're right." She squeezes my hand. "Thanks."

"Did you want to share dinner through the week?" I may be pushing my luck right now but I feel like it's time to ask. I feel like the emotions I have inside need a little release and in order to do that, I need to move this on a little. It's just dinner, after all. "I'd really like to if you are available?"

"Dinner sounds nice." Her head rests back on the couch and right now, it feels like she never left. Right now, it feels like everything is as it should be between us. "When?"

"When are you free?"

"Most evenings." She smiles. "Just let me know when you decide, okay?" I catch her watching the clock and I'm beginning to get the impression that she wants to leave. I'd love her to stay a little longer but I'm sure she has things to do.

"You have to leave, don't you?"

"Well, I don't but Jess locks up early and I don't really want to be that asshole roommate who shows up when they like…"

"I get that." I smile as I climb from my seat. "Thank you for your help today."

"No problem." She smiles as she stands. "I, uh…can I get this stuff back to you in a day or so?" She reminds me that she's wearing my clothes.

"Whenever." I breathe out, a small smile curling on my mouth. "Did you want me to walk you? Drive you?"

"No, the walk does me good at night." She lifts the hood onto her head and shoves her hands in her pockets. "Gives me a moment to myself."

"If you're sure?" I follow her to the door.

"I am." She agrees as she attempts to open the door. Stopping her by placing my hand on it, she turns back to face me, swallowing hard as she does. "What's wrong?" Her eyes switch from my own to my lips. "Eliza?"

"N-Nothing…" I stutter, my nerves suddenly getting the better of me. "Just don't want you to leave…"

"You're sure about that?" She smirks, her eyes narrowing when she senses my hesitation. She knows exactly what was about to happen but now she knows I'm backing out and I really don't want to be the one backing out. "Huh?" She's making no attempt to move or stop this, I know that much.

"Y-Yeah…" Her hand gripping my tee, she pulls me in a little closer and my heart pounds in my chest. I don't even have anything to describe this moment but I know it's everything I need in my life. "Arizona…" I breathe out, her lips inching closer to my own.

"Yeah?" Her confidence once again taking over, she smirks…knowing exactly what she's doing.

"Kiss me, please…" Her lips pressing against my own, everything within me is begging for more but I know that this is perfect how it is. The fun. The friendship. God, I Iove how we've been but I really need more. Her tongue trailing my bottom lip, a whimper falls from my mouth and she smiles against my lips. She knows exactly what she does to me and that has never changed. It has never lessened and I know it never will. Taking my lip between her perfect teeth, she is creating ever sensation imaginable but I can't allow this to go any further. We both know that this is going at the right pace but yeah…I'm greedy. I'd do anything for her to stay the night right now. "I-I…" Cutting me off when her lips ghost over my own again, a low moan rumbles in my throat and I know I really need to stop this now. I know, because I can feel the wetness gathering between my legs. "Arizona…" Her forehead presses against my own, her hand loosening its grip on my tee.

"Goodnight, Eliza…" Licking her lips, her eyes close momentarily and I love knowing that she is savoring this moment. I love knowing that I still have some kind of effect on her. "Call me, okay?"

"Yes." I clear my throat. "I will…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Anyone ready for number seven?**


	7. Chapter 7

Show Me Heaven: Chapter Seven

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _I kissed her._ I don't know why I did that but in the moment, it felt so fucking perfect. We had just spend the day together and then the evening and yeah, it just felt right. I mean, it wasn't a thank you for having me over but I guess in a way, it was a thank you for being back in her life. _She wanted me to kiss her._ But did she? Did she want that to happen or was she just being polite? No, that isn't being polite. That is telling me what she wants. Like, her eyes were begging me. Her body…her lips, they were begging me to kiss her and you know, I feel good about it. Maybe it was too soon, but fuck…it felt so good having her mouth on me. Her lips as soft as they always were…it just felt like it was supposed to happen. I don't regret it, not for one minute. I'll never regret anything we have shared. Never. Sure, I wish some things had happened differently but we cannot change any of that…just like I've come to accept the fact that I cannot change my past. None of it. As much as I'd like to imagine Jenny never existed, I can't. She is a part of me. She is a part of my past. A fucked up part but a part, nonetheless. I've come to terms with it and now I need to not think too hard about the kiss I shared with Eliza a few days ago.

It's been four days since the kiss and I haven't heard anything from her. Sure, she's probably busy but I still expected to hear from her. _She isn't your life anymore. Not yet, anyway._ Sighing as I round the corner, Dani's bar comes into view and my stomach suddenly doesn't feel so good. I'm not worried about the conversation I'm about to have but at the same time, I don't want to strain things between us if I can help it. I've been avoiding her and now it's time to finally put it out there. She knows Eliza is who I want and if I have to sit her down _again_ and tell her that, I will. I know she isn't fond of Eliza but Dani and her thoughts aren't any of my concern. She isn't who matters right now. Eliza is who matters. Eliza and our relationship. _God, she matters so fucking much._ I don't know when everything once again changed for me but I'm glad that it did. I'm glad that I have it in me to reconcile with Eliza because life without her really scares me. It terrifies me. I don't know if she realizes just how much I love her, but it's not time to tell her yet. So long as she knows that my love is there, that settles me.

Pushing through the doors to the bar, I head straight for the woman in question and she simply raises her eyebrow. "What?" I scoff. "Don't look at me like that…"

"You're a fool." She shakes her head, disappointment written all over her face. "I can't believe you took her back."

"First of all, she has a fucking name…"

"Whatever."

"No!" I hold up my hand. "You don't get to judge me or feel like there is something more between us, Dani. You knew exactly what we were and I can't help that I'm still in love with Eliza."

"She will hurt you again…"

"Hurt me?" I raise an eyebrow. "She didn't hurt me…I walked away!"

"But you walked away for a reason." Dani shrugs. "You walked away from her because you didn't want to be with her anymore."

"No, I walked away from her because I needed to fix myself…because I was in a bad place." Sighing, I study her face. "Have you listened to anything I've said since I left her? Have you really been the friend you claimed you could be?"

"Honestly, no." She says with certainty. "I was too busy wondering when I was going to fuck your brains out."

"Real nice." I nod. "I think we're done here…" I should be disappointed and hurt by her admission but I'm not. If she doesn't want to be my friend, good riddance. She has clearly never seen herself as that anyway so she shouldn't feel the loss too much when I'm not around for her anymore.

"Why don't you just run along home and play the happy wife…" She rolls her eyes as she walks away from me. "Leave me alone."

"Oh, gladly." I laugh. "Fucking pathetic." Disappearing from the counter, I head straight for the exit and decide that I'm ready to see Eliza. I mean, I've been ready to see her since the moment I left her but she didn't call and that was okay. Taking my cell from my pocket, I send off a quick message.

 ** _I don't know why you haven't called but I'm coming over. Az x_**

Locking my cell, I quicken my pace and head straight in the direction of my old home. Nothing even has to happen. I just want to be in her presence right now. It's a little after seven and yeah, I hope to god she is home. I hope to god she is willing to see me. Her being is all I need to settle me and since I'm fucking mad right now, I believe it's more than needed. Rounding the corner, Eliza's place comes into view and I rush towards the sidewalk. Her home is lit up and her car is parked up the drive. _Come on, Eliza. Please don't back away now._

Taking the steps to the porch, I knock loudly and wait for any kind of response. I'm hoping for one that doesn't involve me leaving but I'm not getting too worked up about it. If she's busy, she's busy. There is nothing I can do about that. She doesn't generally work during the evenings but things have changed and I no longer know her routine. At least, not like I used to. Movement evident behind the door, I shove my hands in my pockets and the door opens. "Hey…" I breathe out.

"A-Arizona…" Her brow furrowed, I hear more movement inside and peak over her shoulder.

"Oh." I hold up my hands. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." She gives me a small smile. "Is everything okay?"

"Well, I hoped it would be…" I clear my throat. "But clearly I've totally read this all wrong." Watching as Kaden moves around her home, I give her a slight nod and back away a little. "I'll come by in a few days to grab the stuff I left. You know, the paint or whatever." I chew on the inside of my mouth. "Actually, you can just leave it out front…it's no big deal."

"Where are you going?" She furrows her brow.

"Home." I shrug. "Well, Jess'..." Taking the steps, I head down the drive and onto the sidewalk. "Take care, Eliza. Goodnight…"

"Arizona, wait!" Following me down the porch, she grips my wrist and I turn back to face her. "Kaden and I aren't together. Never. Not in a million years."

"Looked pretty cozy to me." I clear my throat, my eyes focusing anywhere but on hers. "The dinner and wine?"

"That's just who she is." She shrugs. "And I want her to leave, so please come inside and she will take the hint."

"I don't want to get in the way…" I shake my head. "I'm sure you can get rid of her yourself if you want her gone."

"I think I may need the backup for this one." She sighs. "She's very…determined."

"And you don't want anything with her?"

"No, nothing." She shakes her head. "Please, come inside."

"You want me to get rid of her?" I raise an eyebrow.

"I'd love it if you could do that." She smiles.

Moving past Eliza, I head back up the porch and open the door. Finding Kaden standing in front of me, she gives me a look of confusion and my eyes trail her body. "You can leave now." I throw my thumb over my shoulder.

"Excuse me?" She scoffs. "Do you know who I am?"

"I don't give a fuck who you are." I spit. "Do you know who I am?"

"No." She shrugs.

"All the more reason to move your ass and leave then, huh?"

"Eliza…" Kaden glances over my shoulder. "Any chance you can ask this one to leave?"

"Oh, no." She shakes her head. "It's time for _you_ to leave."

"So, that's it?" She asks. "No more contract? No more music?"

"No, I'm sorry." She sighs. "I have things I need to do here." Furrowing my brow, I study Eliza's face and she gives me a small smile. "Things that are so much more important."

"Like what?" I lower my voice as I step closer to her, my back now to Kaden. "Eliza?"

"I don't want to leave you again…" She whispers, her fingers curling through my belt loop as she pulls me in closer. "I'm only just getting you back and I can't lose you again, Arizona."

"We will be okay." I try to reassure her. "Your career is your life."

"Not anymore." She gives me a sad smile. "I'm not sure it's been my life since the day I met you…"

"Please think about this," I beg. "Please, Eliza…"

"Kaden, can you leave?" She steps away from me. "I'll call you with a decision soon but I really need you to leave right now."

"Two days, Eliza." She gives her a knowing look. "Two days and I'm gone."

"Whatever." Eliza sighs. "I don't really care…."

"Well, you should." She scoffs. "Ending your career for a woman? You'd be a fool."

"Alright, enough." I step in front of the woman who is really getting on my last nerve. "Get out!"

"You should watch that attitude." She steps closer to me, her breath washing over my face. "It will get you into trouble…"

"Maybe I am trouble," I smirk, my eyes never leaving hers. "I'm sure as hell going to be a pain in your ass!"

"Oh, honey." She rolls her eyes. "If only you knew who you were dealing with…" Stepping around me, Kaden leaves Eliza's home and slams the door shut behind her. Turning back to face my ex, she looks a little unsure but I'm not. I'm not unsure about any of this.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask as I close the distance between us.

"Yeah." She gives me a small smile. "Sorry about that."

"She's a bitch…but aren't they all?" I laugh. "Sorry I showed up here unannounced…"

"It's okay." She clears her throat and drops down into a seat. "I'm sorry I didn't call…"

"Why didn't you?"

"Just…processing, I guess." She glances up at me and her eyes are a little dull.

"I'm sorry I kissed you." _Wait, that makes it sound like I didn't want to. I totally did, though._ "I mean, I'm not…but if that's what you want to hear or what you need to hear, I'm cool with that."

"No, I wanted you to kiss me." She runs her fingers through her hair. "She wasn't here because we're together, Arizona."

"Just...what are you guys?" I ask as I take a seat next to her. "Before we go any further, is there anything I need to know? Anything I need to be prepared for?"

"No, nothing." She says with certainty. "She suggested we have dinner together a few weeks ago but I didn't want that so I avoided her. She showed up here tonight with dinner and insisted we talk."

"About what?"

"Well, she claimed it was about more music but I'm not so sure. She's so hard to read and it makes me a little uncomfortable."

"Don't worry about her, okay?" My hand settles on her own and those gorgeous green eyes close. "But if you believe she wants you for the music, you should totally do that."

"I meant what I said to her, Arizona." She gives me a knowing look. "I have things I need to fix here before I even think about my career."

"You mean us?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah…" She furrows her brow. "Although, judging by your reaction, I'm not sure you want that."

"No, that's not what I'm trying to say." I try to diffuse the situation I can feel building. "I can hang out here and wait this out for you…"

"No, I'm not doing that." She shakes her head. "No way."

"Bu-"

"But nothing, Arizona." She stands. "We are _friends_ and I need more than that. If that is ever going to happen, I need to be here and fully present. Not following that bitch wherever she is and working from hotel rooms."

"Eliza…" I sigh.

"Look, if you don't want there to be an us, that's okay." She holds up her hands. "But I need you to tell me so I can stop feeling this way about you. I need you to tell me so I can go on existing alone."

"Hey…" I stand and grip her jaw gently. "You know I want there to be an us. I wouldn't have kissed you at the weekend if I didn't want that."

"My head is up my ass, Arizona." My thumb working her jawline, her eyes close. "And the more you are around…the more you are here and kissing me. Touching me. I just…I can't bear it."

"I'm sorry." I pull her into my body and wrap my arms around her. "I just thought I was doing the right thing in going slow."

"You probably are…" She agrees, her face buried in the crook of my neck. "But I can't take watching you leave each evening. Not when I don't know the next time I'll see you…"

"I was waiting for you to call," I reply. "I wasn't avoiding you, Eliza…"

"I'd avoid me." She scoffs. "You are so full of confidence and just amazing and I'm a fucking mess."

"Maybe…" She pulls back and her eyes find mine. "But you're _my_ mess." Giving me an adorable smile, my hands find her face, my thumb ghosting over her cheek. "What can I do to make this better?"

"Stay a while…" She leans into my touch, those beautiful eyes fluttering closed. "Please?"

"I'd like that," I answer honestly. "Maybe we could watch a movie?"

"Mm, that sounds so good right now." She agrees. "Do friends maybe like…snuggle?"

"Fuck friends." I roll my eyes and decide to be a little brave in the moment. "I don't even know why I suggested that."

"W-What?" She pulls back, her eyes searching my face. "What does that mean?"

"It means we are still taking this slow but I'm done pretending to be your friend." I smile. "I want dates. Late evenings talking about crap. I want us to move forward but at a steady pace."

"Wow…" She breathes out. "S-So, we're doing this?"

"Honestly…" I pull her into the living room. "…I'm not sure we ever _weren't_ doing it." Dropping down onto the couch, Kaden's scent is still all around me but I'm not concerned. Eliza is here in my arms and it feels good. It feels better than ever before. Last time, I always had my issues on my mind. Last time, I felt like I couldn't truly breathe. Now, though? Now I feel nothing but Eliza and her love for me. My own, too. "You know, I'm glad I left, Eliza."

"I know." She admits. "I understand why you did now…"

"Yeah?" I raise an eyebrow as she glances up at me. "I hated being away from you but it was the right choice to make."

"Look at you now…" She breathes out. "God, it's so good to see you like this."

"It is." I agree. "Feels good, too." Wrapping my arm around her shoulder, I pull her into my body a little closer and her breathing settles, her body relaxes. Her hand slipping under my shirt, her skin settles against my own and my stomach tightens. It feels so good to be here with her like this but we do have to take this slow. As much as I want to just go back to the way we were, we can't. We aren't those people anymore. At least, I'm not. Our time will come. Our time to just be and to love each other will come and I know it will be sooner rather than later. This all feels too good to think anything other than that. It all feels like it should and Eliza feels incredible against me. She always did, though…and I guess in the back of my mind I knew that. "Dani hates me…" I breathe out.

"I'm sorry." She looks up at me, her head resting on my shoulder. "You think you will ever work it out?"

"I'm not so sure anymore," I admit. "I want you to know that everything with her has ended, though."

"I know…" She smiles. "We may have been through it but one thing you have never been is a cheat, Arizona. That has never been you."

"I see you…nothing more." I say with complete certainty. "You believe that, right?"

"I do." Leaning down a little, my lips press against her own and a smile curls on her mouth. "You've no idea how much I've missed your kisses…"

"I have some making up to do then, huh?"

"Mmhmm…" She moans against my mouth. "Not too much, though…"

"Why not?" I furrow my brow, my tongue trailing her bottom lip.

"I'll never let you leave if you spoil me too much…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Chapter eight is almost ready to go...**


	8. Chapter 8

Show Me Heaven: Chapter Eight

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Arizona is almost finished with making my place look a little fresher. It's been neglected whilst I've been out of town and now that I'm feeling good again, I want to make this place ours. I know it has been for a long time but a change up can only be a good thing, right? I know we are taking this slow, but I've been taking suggestions and opinions from Arizona without making her aware of what I'm doing. I want her to enjoy this home when the time comes. If she has had an input on things, I'm hoping she will feel that. I'm hoping when we take that step and move back in together, she will feel like she belongs here once and for all. We've been spending a lot of time together lately but I'm not concerned. She knows she can have space if and when she needs it but I'm hoping it wont come to that. I don't want her to feel like she has to be here, but today she showed up unannounced so I don't get that impression right now. She knows she can walk through my door any time she likes, no questions asked. She knows deep down that she belongs here but I'll let her figure that out herself. I don't need to reassure her…she's totally got this.

Taking the staircase slowly, I watch her as I reach the lower level of my home and she's looking just as happy as she has been since I came home from working out of town. She hasn't mentioned Kaden since she was here a week ago but that can only be a good sign. If she doesn't bring her up, I know she isn't worrying. I called her like I said I would and yeah, I declined her offer. Honestly, I don't need her in my life regardless of whether it is just for work. I can further my career in other ways and I suspect Kaden knows that. Her threats won't work with me. I've seen her outside of the superstar she is and no…she doesn't have it in her to follow through on her word. She comes across as being the one in demand the one who can crush you in seconds but I saw through that. Deep down, she's harmless. Deep down, she knows she doesn't have the muscle behind her that she claims she does. _God loves a trier though, right?_

Making my presence known, Arizona drops her paintbrush to the side of the can and gives me one of her gorgeous smiles. She really has made this place look awesome but I didn't doubt that. I know how good she is with her hands, so no…there was never any doubt about her abilities to freshen this home up and give it a new lease of life. "You should take a break…" I suggest.

"Why?" She furrows her brow. "Do you have something planned?"

"I wish…" I smirk. "You've been working for hours, Arizona."

"The more I work…the sooner it is finished." She gives me a knowing look. "And I was thinking…how do you feel about me stripping back the floors and redoing them?"

"A lot of work, don't you think?"

"Well, yeah…" She agrees. "But if its something you want, I can do that for you."

"What about the dust." I wrinkle my nose. "I'd have to leave for a while…"

"Probably." She nods. "But think about it, okay?"

"Sure." I smile. "Coffee? Water?"

"I'll just take a water for now…" She stretches out her neck and follows me to the kitchen. "Can I spend the evening with you?"

"Why do you even consider that a question?" I laugh, my head shaking in disbelief. "Of course, you can spend the evening with me…"

"You know uh…when you recorded that track?"

"Mmhmm…" I busy myself in the kitchen.

"Did you record anymore?" She sounds intrigued but I'm not sure I want her to hear anything else I recorded. I was in a bad place when I put my voice to music and honestly…I don't know how she would react. "I mean, it sounded amazing and I'd love to hear more if you have any?"

"I, uh…" Turning back to face her, her dimples are popping and my heart is melting in my chest. "I did but its nothing worth listening to…"

"No?" She raises her eyebrow. "I find that hard to believe…"

"Why do you want to hear more stuff?" I rest back against the counter and she closes the distance between us. "You know I'm not an artist…"

"Because…" She traps my body between the counter and her own. "My girlfriend has the voice of an angel and it melts me every time I replay our song." Okay, not the reaction I expected. Her referring to my first song as 'ours' and being called her girlfriend in one sentence is a lot to take in right now. "Come on, play me something…" Her eyes pleading with me, I'm about to admit defeat. "For me?" She trails her thumb across my jawline.

"Okay." I breathe out. "Just…I wasn't in a good place, okay?"

"I'm sure it will still be amazing…" She presses her lips to my own. "If it's coming from you, anyway."

"This one is a little…different." I clear my throat as I bring up the track on the sound system beside me. "This isn't how I felt…" I study her face as the sound of a piano plays low around the kitchen. "This is how I imagined _you_ felt…"

"Wow." She breathes out. "That opening note is intense in itself…" Her arms braced on the counter either side of me, Arizona's eyes close and she simply listens. She listens, whilst my heart is in my mouth.

 ** _Take your eyes off of me so I can leave_**

 ** _I'm far too ashamed to do it with you watching me_**

 ** _This is never ending, we have been here before_**

 ** _But I can't stay this time 'cause I don't love you anymore_**

 ** _Please stay where you are_**

 ** _Don't come any closer_**

 ** _Don't try to change my mind_**

 ** _I'm being cruel to be kind_**

 ** _I can't love you in the dark_**

 ** _It feels like we're oceans apart_**

 ** _There is so much space between us_**

 ** _Maybe we're already defeated_**

 ** _Everything changed me_**

 ** _You have given me something that I can't live without_**

 ** _You mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt_**

 ** _But I don't want to carry on like everything is fine_**

 ** _The longer we ignore it all the more that we will fight_**

 ** _Please don't fall apart_**

 ** _I can't face your breaking heart_**

 ** _I'm trying to be brave_**

 ** _Stop asking me to stay_**

 ** _I can't love you in the dark_**

 ** _It feels like we're oceans apart_**

 ** _There is so much space between us_**

 ** _Maybe we're already defeated_**

 ** _Everything changed me_**

 ** _We're not the only ones_**

 ** _I don't regret a thing_**

 ** _Every word I've said_**

 ** _You know I'll always mean_**

 ** _It is the world to me_**

 ** _That you are in my life_**

 ** _But I want to live_**

 ** _And not just survive_**

 ** _That's why I can't love you in the dark_**

 ** _It feels like we're oceans apart_**

 ** _There is so much space between us_**

 ** _Maybe we're already defeated_**

 ** _'Cause everything changed me_**

 ** _And I don't think you can save me_**

My track ending, Arizona's eyes open and her body presses harder against my own. I don't know how she is feeling right now but I feel like I need her to speak. I feel like I need words from her. Anything. Just…something. Searching her face, I give her a sad smile and her eyes close again…her breathing calm. "Arizona…"

"I love you." Her words falling from her mouth so naturally, my heart sinks into my stomach and I don't even know what is happening right now. I feel like I'm having an out of body experience. "I love you so fucking much…" Gripping me by the back of the neck, her fingers tangle in my hair and she crushes her lips into my own. "Fuck…"

"I love you, too." Her forehead resting against my own, tears slip down Arizona's face and it breaks my heart. I didn't want to upset her. "Please don't cry…" Brushing them away with my thumb, a smile curls on her mouth and her eyes close. "Arizona, I didn't want to upset you…"

"You haven't." She breathes against my mouth. "You haven't…"

"We're okay?" I ask, worry evident in my voice.

"More than okay." She nods slowly, her bottom lip ghosting over my own. "God, I love you."

"We can do this, right?" She smiles against my mouth and I know I have all the answers I'll ever need. "For the last time…"

"Definitely the last time." She breathes out. "I always loved you…you have to remember that."

"I know you did." I agree. "But at the time…it didn't feel like it. I felt like I'd completely lost you and I'd never be here with you like this again."

"I always wanted to come back to you…" She whispers, her nose brushing my own. I know she wants to take this further but she is hesitating. That's okay, though. She is here and she is with me. She is totally with me right now. "Don't ever doubt that."

"Arizona…" I pull back a little and her eyes find mine. They're dark and that can only mean one thing. It can only mean that I should stop this before we go too far. She knows I want her, but the moment we let go…something or someone will ruin it. I know they will. I have to keep us like this just a little longer and I'm sure she understands that. "What do you want?" I dip my head a little. "In this moment…what do you want?"

"I want to hold you." She brushes my hair from my face and I lean into her touch. "I want to hold you and never let you go…" Pushing off the counter, I guide her body back towards the living and pull the sheet from the couch. Sure, we are supposed to be finished up with the painting by now but it can wait. Everything that isn't us can wait right now. I'm done with giving a shit about anything other than Arizona. Both of us making ourselves comfortable on the couch, she wraps her arms around me and we mold into one. Just like we used to. Just how it always was. "You're perfect, okay?"

"I'm not but I'll take that right now…"

"I never saw you as being here." She studies my face. "I know that was how you felt, but I didn't."

"I _did_ become her, Arizona." Giving my girlfriend a sad smile, she shakes her head in disagreement.

"No, I can promise you right now that it wasn't like that." Pulling me in closer, I haven't felt this relaxed in a long time. "You are so much more than the situation we found ourselves in and I should've told you that sooner. I should've put your mind at rest way before now."

"You were doing what was best for you." I need her to know that I'm not angry about the past eight months. How could I be? Regardless of how she feels right now, I _did_ hurt her. I _did_ break that trust between us. That safety. The protection she was supposed to feel when she was in my arms just like she is right now.

"That doesn't matter." She replies. "You deserved more than nothing from me and I'm truly sorry." Before her therapy, she would've shut down on me by now. She would've continuously apologized and felt bad about it for days. I can see the difference in her, the change. Something about this moment tells me that we could be better than ever, but we have to remember that this is still a process Arizona is going through. She may not always feel this way but god, I hope she does. I want her to thrive and live the best life she possibly can with me and yeah…that is exactly where this is headed.

"Thank you for forgiving me…" My lips press against her own. "Thank you for loving me, Arizona."

"You're my life…" She shifts from beside me and I now find myself flat on my back. "You always was."

"Feels so good to hear you say that." Dipping her head, her tongue slips into my mouth and a low moan rumbles in my throat. Her hips are pressing against my own and I'm genuinely not sure how much longer I can wait to take her back once and for all. I'm not sure I can keep my hands above her waist for much longer.

"This feels perfect." She smiles as her lips trail my neck. "Being against you like this...feels so good." Her words pulling me in, my hand slips to her ass and she grinds against me. Forcing her down harder on my thigh, she sucks on the skin of my neck and my mouth falls open. "You know just how good this feels, Eliza…"

"Shit…" My head spinning at the mere thought of one day having Arizona in our bed again, my other hand trails up and under the back of her shirt. Her body is sculpted as perfectly as it always is and her soft skin is setting my fingertips on fire. "You feel perfect." My hand slipping to the front of her body, her stomach contracts against the palm of my hand and a smile settles on my mouth. "You feel that?" I whisper as her mouth hovers over my own. "You feel how you react to my touch?"

"Y-Yes…" Her forehead against my own, her eyes are piercing my soul and I see nothing but total ease and confidence shining from them. Knowing how different she feels now…I'm not sure I can take what she has to give me in the bedroom. It was incredible the first time around so this? Fuck, I'm not sure I will still be breathing. "If only you really knew…" She smiles into another kiss. "Fuck, if only you knew."

"Tell me…" I whisper.

"Not yet." She smirks as she pulls back. "It's been so long since I worked you up that I'm going to really enjoy this."

"Oh yeah?" I take my bottom lip between my teeth and she moans above me. "You know I want your best, right?"

"Been saving my best for you for a long time, beautiful." Her words genuine, my eyes close momentarily and I have to remind myself that this is actually happening. That we're actually back together. _God, I've wished this day would come for so long._ "But we have all the time in the world to get down and dirty…and we will." Her tongue trails my neck. "I just want to make love to you, Eliza…"

"Fuck, I want that too." Clenching my jaw as she grazes her teeth along my collarbone, I fist my hand in her shirt and pull her down against me. "But you have to stop…"

"I know." She groans, her tongue trailing up the shell of my ear. "We aren't doing any harm right now, though…"

"N-No, I guess not," I speak, barely above a whisper. "But if you don't stop soon, this is happening…"

"Do you want me to stop?" She pulls back, her eyes finding mine. "Is that what you want?"

"No, I never want you to stop…" I cup her face. "But I don't want to do this here…" I give her a sad smile. "As much as I want you to take me right now, I don't want it here."

"I love you." She gives me an adorable smile. "Maybe we could see how the rest of the day goes?" I know she is just trying to do the right thing, and I am too, but I know exactly how this day is going to go. At least, I know how it's going to end. Giving her a nod followed by a smile, she drops her head to my shoulder and releases a deep breath. "At least I know I've improved my self-control…" She laughs.

"Mm, but you know you don't ever have to control yourself around me." I run my fingers through the back of her hair. "It would be a shame to do such a thing…"

"I'll remember that." Settling down against me, her hand finds my hip and her heart beats soundly in her chest. "Can I stay the night?"

"Oh god." I take my lip between my teeth. "You mean that?" I ask. "You really want to stay the night?"

"If you think it would be okay?"

"More than okay." I breathe out. "So much more than okay…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. Song was 'Love In The Dark' by Adele. I recommend you take a listen. :D**


	9. Chapter 9

Show Me Heaven: Chapter Nine

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Last night was something kinda beautiful for me. Eliza allowed me to stay over and I'm feeling super fresh today. She's still sleeping but I want to get her living room finished so she can relax in it without all kinds of crap lying around. I'm sure she won't be impressed when she wakes up but this will be finished today and then we can just relax together. We can simply enjoy each other and get back to what we do best. Love. Commitment. That laughter we once shared. I may have been doing awesome alone since I left but I feel great having her back in my life. I feel like the hard work I've put in over the last eight months has been totally worth it and I'm now reaping the rewards. I'm living, loving and enjoying my life. I'd like to believe that it's totally all on me but it's not. Eliza has given me that last little piece of happiness I was missing and I know that she's got me. I know that we've got each other.

Things got a little heated last night but we didn't take it too far. My plan was to take her to bed and make her feel incredible but once the movie had ended, my girlfriend was barely breathing. Her eyes were already closing thirty minutes into the movie so I knew in that moment she was done for the night. That's okay, though. She's had a busy few weeks and I think emotionally we are both drained. Her more so than me. I've learned how to cope with my emotions better but Eliza has always been an emotional person. I love that about her, but I prefer to do things a little differently. Now that I've fixed everything I used to be, I deal with things so much better.

Lowering the volume on the sound system, I hit play and figure I'll take in a little more of Eliza's music. Her voice is so soft and relaxing that I could listen to it on replay for the rest of my life given half the chance. Deciding to just play it from the first track, a familiar song filters through the speakers and a smile curls on my mouth. _God, I love this song._ Something about it just reminds me of everything that we were. Everything that we hope to one day be. The honesty in each note. The way the lyrics just pull you in. It's just a perfect song from a perfect woman. Shrugging my flannel from my body, I fix my tank around me a little better and get to work on the last remaining sections of the room. It shouldn't take much longer so the sooner I move my ass, the sooner I can kick back with the most beautiful woman in the world.

Eliza's voice flowing around the room, I hum along to the tune and smile to myself. I don't know what the next few weeks hold for us but I'm more than sure it couldn't get much better. I mean, it can physically, but how I'm feeling? No, I'm at my peak. I'm at my peak and I'm never going back to my old self. I'm never going back to that phase of myself because I don't need to. I know who I am and I know what I'm capable of. If I continue to focus on that, I can only get better. I'm not sure I could feel any better, but I'll give it a damn good go. _You got the world, Zo. Don't ever let it go._

Startled when I feel arms wrapping around my waist, my smile widens and Eliza presses her lips to my shoulder. "Hey…" Her voice still filled with sleep, I lean back into her body and my head falls back on her shoulder. "You know, I could really get used to you being here wearing very little."

"Yeah?"

"Mm, definitely." Her lips press against the skin below my ear and my body shudders. "You know how hot you look in your tank…"

"Well, I know it makes you a little excited," I smirk as I turn my head a little and capture her lips. "Mm…" A low moan rumbling in my throat, she takes my bottom lip between her teeth and her hands disappear under the material covering my stomach. "Did you sleep well?" Her hand moves a little higher and her thumb brushes the underside of my breast.

"Better than ever…"

"You looked done for last night." I turn in her arms, the paintbrush still in my hand. "I'm just finishing up here and then I'm taking you out to lunch."

"Is that a date, or?"

"Damn right it is." I capture her lips again. "Got to get the ball rolling at some point."

"That sucks…" She drops her gaze, a fake pout on her lips. "We can't exactly have sex on the first date…"

Caught off guard by her comment, I narrow my eyes and study her face. "Who said anything about sex?"

"Well, you know…" She shrugs. "I hoped I'd be ripping your clothes off last night but nothing came of it so I figured I'd attempt it again today." Her fingers curling beneath the hem of my tank, she lifts it up and over my body. "Unless you wanted to wait…"

"We should." I breathe out, the paintbrush falling to the floor. "We really should…but I can't." Watching as her eyes trail my naked chest, I take my bottom lip between my teeth. "Fuck…I really can't wait any longer."

"Thank god." She breathes against my mouth. "I need to feel your gorgeous body against me, Arizona." Her voice low and filled with pure want, I guide her body back a little and it hits the wall. Lifting her oversized tee from her body, Eliza has never looked so good in nothing but a pair of panties.

"Holy shit!" Standing back, I take in the beauty before me and my heart pounds in my chest. It doesn't happen often anymore but it's not the same feeling. This is a good pounding. This is my body telling me that I'm exactly where I should. "Fuck…"

"Well, that's the plan." She smirks as she curls her fingers around the waistband of my jeans and pulls me back into her body. "You know…" Her lips brushing my own, I can feel the arousal gathering between my legs. "...You really worked me up last night and I woke thinking about it." My jeans loosening, they fall to the floor and she motions for me to step out of them. "No panties?" She mumbles against my mouth, her fingertip trailing my inner thigh. "Mm, that's hot."

"I-I, oh god…" My eyes closing as she sucks my bottom lip into her mouth, my knees weaken and I brace my hands against the wall, either side of her head. "Eliza, you've no idea how much I want you right now." My tongue toys with her own. "Fuck…so bad."

"Oh, I think I do know." She smirks as I wrap my hands around her thighs and lift her. Wrapping them around my waist, I steady us against the wall before moving her towards the kitchen. "I need to turn this music off…" She attempts to shift out of my arms as I set her down on the counter but I stop her.

"Leave it playing…"

"I can't." She rests her forehead against my own. "The next one…I just, I can't."

"Baby, please?" A smile curling on her mouth when she hears a familiar term of endearment, she releases a slight sigh and the palm of my hand ghosts up her naked stomach. "You feel so good…" Dipping my head, I take a nipple between my teeth and a gasp falls from her mouth as she rests back, her palms now flat on the counter. "Better than ever…"

"Fuck." Her mouth falling open as I suck harder, a low groan falls from her mouth and I smile against her skin. "Y-Yes." Palming the other, she falls back onto her elbows and the track changes. She doesn't want me to hear this song but we are past this now. We are past the hurt we've both suffered over the past several months. Right now is the only thing that matters to me. Everything else…it's gone. It's really as simple as that.

 ** _I will leave my heart at the door  
I won't say a word  
They've all been said before you know  
So why don't we just play pretend  
Like we're not scared of what's coming next  
Or scared of having nothing left_**

 **Look, don't get me wrong**  
 **I know there is no tomorrow**  
 **All I ask is**

 ** _If this is my last night with you  
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend  
Give me a memory I can use  
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do  
It matters how this ends  
'Cause what if I never love again?_**

My lips trailing up between her breasts, her legs wrap around my waist again and I can feel the uncertainty about how I'm feeling right now. I love listening to how she felt when I left and honestly, it's only encouraging me to make love to her even more. It's only spurring me on and I want to make this woman mine forevermore. I need her to feel this…and then some. My hand following the trail my lips have just taken, I grip the back of her neck and pull her up and against me. "You are really something else…" I breathe against her mouth. "All I want is you, Eliza." My lips press against her own. "All I'll _ever_ need is you…"

 _ **I don't need your honesty  
It's already in your eyes  
And I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me  
No one knows me like you do  
And since you're the only one that matters  
Tell me who do I run to?**_

 _ **Look, don't get me wrong**_  
 _ **I know there is no tomorrow**_  
 _ **All I ask is**_

 _ **If this is my last night with you**_  
 _ **Hold me like I'm more than just a friend**_  
 _ **Give me a memory I can use**_  
 _ **Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do**_  
 _ **It matters how this ends**_  
 _ **'Cause what if I never love again?**_

Removing her panties from her gorgeous body, I slip them over her thighs and drop them to the floor. "Arizona…" Her fingers tangling in my hair, my mouth moves lower with every second that passes. "Oh god." My thumb spreading her folds, I press a soft kiss to the inside of her thigh and a gasp falls from her mouth. She's more than ready for me and right now, I need to taste her. I need to remember what I've been missing during my recovery.

"So fucking beautiful…" I whisper before running the tip of my tongue the length of her center. "Mm, fuck." Pulling back, she is watching my every move and my arousal gathers once more. Pushing a single finger inside of her, her mouth falls open and her eyes close. The smallest of smiles curling on her mouth, I curl my finger and hit the spot that drives her insane.

"O-Oh." Her back arching, it takes everything I have within me not to fuck her good right now. I know it's what she wants, but this is just the beginning. Once this song has ended, I'm taking her to bed. I'm taking her to bed and I'm not leaving until I have reacquainted myself with every inch of her body.

 _ **Let this be our lesson in love**_  
 _ **Let this be the way we remember us**_  
 _ **I don't wanna be cruel or vicious**_  
 _ **And I ain't asking for forgiveness**_  
 _ **All I ask is**_

 _ **If this is my last night with you**_  
 _ **Hold me like I'm more than just a friend**_  
 _ **Give me a memory I can use**_  
 _ **Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do**_  
 _ **It matters how this ends**_  
 _ **'Cause what if I never love again?**_

"Arizona…" Her chest heaving, I pull her in close and pull out of her. The music fading, she gives me a look of uncertainty but I simply pull her away from the counter, her legs still wrapped firmly around my waist.

"Upstairs." I breathe out as my lips crush into her own. "I need you upstairs…"

"I love you…" Her voice breaking, she drops her legs and pulls me up the staircase. Turning to face me when we reach the top, she drags me closer to the bedroom and I know she is worried about this. I know she is thinking over the lyrics I've just heard. They couldn't be further from the truth, and I'm about to show her that. I'm about to make her feel for the first time in forever and I'm taking our love back. I don't need to worry anymore. I don't need to feel less ever again. She's in my life and I know I'm good enough for her. I know I'm fucking incredible for her.

"Fuck, I want you so much…" Pushing her down on the bed, I straddle one leg and sink my fingers back inside of her. I need to feel her coming undone beneath me. I need to hear her moan my name and remind me of everything that we once were. "Only you…" I moan as her walls squeeze me tight. "It's only ever been you."

"Fuck, yes." Her hands fisting in the bedsheets, I sink deeper and curl my fingers. "Oh god…" One hand leaving the bed, she grips my back and I'm pretty sure she's broken skin. "Yes…" A guttural moan rumbling deep in her throat, I feel nothing but complete love for this woman beneath me. Her words. Her voice. Every single sound that falls from her mouth. It's all for me. Everything that we are is coming back tenfold right now and it's hitting me harder than a freight train.

"T-Touch me, Eliza…" Her hand disappearing between our bodies, the sudden connection of her fingertips against my clit has my body trembling in anticipation. "Fuck." My head dropping to her shoulder, I sink my teeth into her skin and she hisses in delight. _She likes pain with her pleasure._ I know that better than anyone. I can _do it_ better than anyone. "I-Inside," I beg. "Fuck, I need you inside." Gasping when she pushes two fingers inside of me with ease, her lips trail my neck before reaching my ear.

"You and I are forever, Arizona…" Her words pushing me closer to the edge, I simply moan in agreement and she smiles against my ear. "How wet you are…fuck, I've missed everything about you."

"I'm close…" I whisper as I nuzzle into the crook of her neck. "Shit, I'm close…"

"You know what I want…" She groans. "You know I want you to come for me." Suddenly flipping our bodies, I find myself on my back, Eliza now riding my hand above me. "Mm, that's exactly what I want." She throws her head back, her fingers still buried inside of me. Taking her nipple, I tug and pull a little harder as she writhes above me. "Fuck, yes." Her thumb rolling over my clit, I'm struggling to focus right now. I'm struggling but I'm so going to come hard for her any moment now.

"Eliza, shit." My eyes slamming shut, she rocks above me and fresh arousal coats my hand. "I need you with me." I moan. "I really need to you with me…" Her body falling forward, she shakes against me and my own orgasm pulses through me like never before. I don't care who I've had in my life over the years, nobody will ever come close. Nobody will ever compare. "Don't stop." She fucks my hand. "I'm still coming." My own body writhing and shaking from the aftershocks she is creating, she lifts onto her knees a little and I pound into her repeatedly. Fast. Hard. "Oh, fuck." Sinking her teeth into my neck, the most incredible moan escapes her mouth and it's only sending me into oblivion again. It's only setting every nerve on fire once again.

"Oh shit." My body trembling and spent, our pace slows but it doesn't stop. Everything about what we are experiencing right now is pure heaven. Bliss. Whatever you want to call it…it's totally happening for us right now. "That was so fucking good…" I breathe out, her body totally relaxing on top of my own. "Fuck."

"I just…" Her breathing ragged, I run my fingers through her hair and give her a moment to calm herself. "Oh god…" Nuzzling into the crook of my neck, she inhales deeply and smiles against my skin. "You're so beautiful…"

"We're beautiful, Eliza…" My nails graze her back gently. "So beautiful."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Song was 'All I Ask' by Adele.**


	10. Chapter 10

Show Me Heaven: Chapter Ten

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _Incredible._ That's all I've got. Arizona has spent the past two nights here and yeah…it's been incredible. I wasn't sure how I would ever feel should we have tried again but right now, I feel like we are exactly how we should be. I think we are both a little wary, but I'm not concerned. I'm not worried that she is about to tell me that she can't do this or that she doesn't want me. She has every right to be wary about our relationship. The last time around it ended badly and yeah…things could've gone differently. She knows I never wanted her to walk away from me but I completely understand why she did. I understand that she needed to be alone to work through her past and I couldn't be prouder about that. She knew what she needed in that moment and she worked with that she had. Herself. I know I wanted to be with her every step of the way, but it wasn't as simple as that. She didn't need a lover beside her. She didn't need me to tell her how great she is. She needed to figure that out alone. She needed to do what I believe she should've done a long time ago. Heal. Move on from the past. Not our past, but her own past. She needed to become the person she once was and wow, it's truly amazing to see. How she just lights up my life when she walks into the room. How she is so content with herself and who she is. It's something beautiful to witness but I guess in the back of my mind…I never doubted her.

Maybe when we first met I should've pushed her to find herself before any kind of relationship blossomed between us. Maybe I should've just been a bystander in her life whilst she worked through her painful past, I don't know. I'm not sure I ever could've done that, but I'd like to believe that I would've done the right thing. I'd like to believe that should I have recognized it all sooner, I'd have let her go to do what she needed to do. Not for me or for us. Not for anyone other than herself. She has so much to give and I know that this time around is going to be even more incredible than the last. It's hard not to feel that way when I've woken beside her the last two mornings. It's hard not to feel that way when just yesterday, she completely worshipped my body with no uncertainty. No fear. No apprehension about what my intentions were. It's hard not to feel that way when I can feel the love seeping from her skin every time her hands touch my body.

Sinking down onto the couch, my coffee is gripped firmly in my hands and my heart is completely settled. My entire being is completely settled. I don't know when this all flipped and became better, but it did. It did and I cannot wait to see Arizona tonight. She's out of town today working on a car, and even though I miss her and want her here with me, this alone time gives me the chance to think about the past couple of weeks since I returned from working with Kaden. It gives me a moment to breathe and just think about the huge turn around in my life again. Hard to believe, I won't lie…but God, it feels so perfect. Just like it used to. How it's supposed to. How it always should've been. Crazy but yeah, so fucking perfect.

My cell buzzing on the coffee table, a number I don't recognize is flashing on my screen. My brow furrowed, I accept the call and clear my throat. "Hello?"

"Eliza, hi." I recognize the voice but I can't quite place it. "It's Jess."

"Oh, uh…"

"Sorry to call but have you heard from Arizona at all?"

"Not since this morning, no." I don't know why Jess is calling me but I don't like the fact that she has my contact details. "Why?" I ask, a little harshly.

"Just…I haven't heard from her for a couple of days." She says. "I knew you guys were back in touch and I was hoping everything is okay…"

"Everything is fine, I think."

"That's good." She breathes out. "She gave me your number a while back. Said if I couldn't find her to contact you."

"Why?" I ask, my voice laced with confusion.

"She said you are the only person she would be with if she ever disappeared." _Wow, okay._

"She's working out of town." I smile. "She's fine, Jess."

"Thank god." She sighs. "That girl worries me sometimes, I swear."

"You have nothing to worry about…" I run my fingers through my hair. "She's working and she will be back later this evening."

"Yeah." She agrees. "Maybe I'll see her tonight, I don't know."

"I'm not sure what her plans are, sorry." I know I want her here with me but that doesn't mean that's how our night will end. Arizona may not even come by here when she gets back. "I'm sure you could call her, though…"

"Oh, I don't want to intrude." She clears her throat. "She knows where I am if she needs me." _I'm hoping she will never need Jess again but it's good to know she has friends._ "Thanks, Eliza."

"No problem." The call ending, I set my cell down in my lap and rest back on the couch. It isn't the warmest day today so I think kicking back and relaxing is just what I need. I don't have anywhere to be and honestly, I'm not sure I'd care even if I did. Toying with my cell, a smile curls on my face when it buzzes in my hand.

 ** _Did I ever tell you how fucking gorgeous you are? Zo x_**

 ** _Mm, once or twice...Maybe. E x_**

 ** _Well, you are. Fucking gorgeous. My world. I love you. Zo x_**

Okay, not what I was expecting from her but yeah, it feels kinda good to receive messages like that from Arizona. This new confidence she has going on can only benefit the both of us and I'm grabbing it with both hands. If she wants to be cute and adorable with me then that is perfectly fine. I'd be lying if I said I'd never wished for that from her, so yeah…my _new_ girlfriend can send me messages like that all day, every day. She's always been an honest person so I know it's complete truth. I know she isn't just trying to make me feel better.

 _God, I've waited for this for so long…_

* * *

Relaxed with a movie playing, I shove my last piece of pizza into my mouth and throw the box down on the coffee table. Arizona is due back in town in the next hour or so but I don't know what the plan is. I feel like she is probably going to head over here but I haven't asked her outright. I don't want her to think that she has to be here, regardless of whether I want that or not. If she wants to kick back at Jess' place, that's fine. It's no big deal. Sighing, I pull my throw tighter around me and check my cell again. _Nothing._ I may or may not be feeling a little needy right now but I kinda can't help it. Arizona has always made me feel that way and now is no different. _It will never be any different._ She just has that presence about her. She just makes me want to always have her attention. It may be selfish of me, but I want what I want and that is Arizona.

A loud knock pulling me from my thoughts, a smile curls on my mouth and I rush from the couch, the throw falling to the floor. Tugging at the door, it opens and I furrow my brow.

"Is she here?"

"Uh…Dani, right?" I hold out my hand.

"Yeah, right." Her hands remain shoved in her pockets. "Is she here, or?"

"I'm assuming you're talking about Arizona?" I raise an eyebrow. "You may be pissed at her but _she_ has a name."

"Pissed at her?" She scoffs. "I'm beyond pissed."

"I'm not entirely sure what the problem is, but Arizona isn't here." Shrugging, I attempt to close the door but Dani's foot suddenly seems to be stuck in it. "If you could move?"

"You guys are definitely back together?" She studies my face. "She actually took you back?"

"I don't know what she has told you but yeah…we're back together." I give her a look of confusion. "Is there a problem with that?"

"Guess not." She shrugs. "So, I was just some fuck to keep her entertained?"

"Uh…"

"Whatever Zo wants, she gets." She spits. "The women fucking fall at her feet and you are just the same."

"You don't even know me." I scoff. This woman is out of her mind but I'm doing this with her. I'm not going to stand here and justify myself to her when she doesn't know the first thing about me.

"No, but I know you're the same as the rest." She gives me a sarcastic smile. "I hope you know what you're getting yourself into, Eliza. She will be fucking you and whoever else she can get her hands on now that she is feeling good. Just fucking wait…"

"Yeah, you can leave now."

"Mm, I can do that but you know I'm right." She narrows her eyes. "I can see the worry in your eyes. You know she used to fuck me and everyone else in that bed you once shared with her? Threesomes…sometimes four, even five?"

"Why are you telling me this?" I ask, confusion all over my face. "Why is it relevant to me?"

"Because she won't be able to keep her hands off of them." Dani backs away. "Now that she has that confidence back…she will take what she wants from all of them. Just like she has done with me." Watching Dani walk away, Arizona's car comes to a stop outside my place and she rushes from it.

"Everything okay?" She glances back at Dani who hasn't even turned back. "Eliza?"

"Jesus Christ." I breathe out. "She really had it bad, huh?"

"I don't even know what that means…" I curl my fingers through her belt loop and pull her over the threshold. Kicking the door closed, Arizona narrows her eyes, a small smirk forming on her mouth. "What's going on?" She asks as I drop down on the couch and drag her down on top of me.

"She just thought I should know some stuff." My lips brush her own. "Nothing that concerns me, though…"

"What stuff?" Her breathing a little ragged as my hand slips down the front of her jeans, I study her face…her eyes closing and her bottom lip suddenly between her teeth.

"You sure you wanna know right now?" My fingers connect with wet heat. "You want me to stop?"

"Fuck, no." Her head dropping to my shoulder, a low moan rumbles in Arizona's throat. "Is this how you plan to always greet me?"

"Maybe." My tongue runs up her neck and my lips brush her ear. "If you're always going to be this wet for me, then yes…" Smiling against her ear, I apply a little more pressure to her throbbing clit. "Have you been thinking about me, Arizona?"

"What do you think?" She groans as she rocks against my hand.

"Tell me…" I whisper. "Tell me exactly what you've been thinking."

"About fucking you." She whimpers. "In my car."

"Yeah?" I groan. "Sounds fucking amazing to me…"

"Oh, it was." She smiles against my neck. "I fucked you so hard."

"We should make that a plan…" Fresh arousal covering my fingers, I know she is close. I can feel her pulsing for me. "Fuck, we should definitely make that a plan…"

"Y-Yeah…" Her knees tremble either side of my body. "You were so wet for me."

"I'm always wet for you," I admit. "Every minute of the day…"

"Fuck." Forcing her hips harder against me, my pace increases and Arizona's entire body shakes above me. "Yes, fuck…don't stop." Moans filling the air, a smile settles on my mouth and her body drops down on my own. "Shit, that was some welcome back…"

"That doesn't mean to can me leave town whenever it suits you." She pulls back and studies my face. "You got that?"

"Yeah." Her lips pressing against my own, a low moan rumbles in my throat. "Mm, I missed you today."

"Yeah?" My smile widens. "Wasn't sure you would even come by…"

"Couldn't wait any longer to see you." She admits. "You doing okay?"

"More than okay." I breathe out. "It's good to see you."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out when you dragged me through the door." Pulling her body from my own, she drops down on the opposite end of the couch and runs her fingers through her hair. "I feel like I've been on the road all day…"

"Why so?"

"I got to work as soon as I arrived so I could head straight back. I didn't even stop for food."

"You haven't eaten?"

"Well, no." She shrugs. "You have, though." She narrows her eyes and focuses on the empty pizza box.

"I'm sorry." I give her a sad smile. "I wasn't sure when you would be back. I didn't want to ask in case you hadn't planned to see me tonight."

"That's okay." She climbs from the couch. "Would you mind if I ordered something here?"

"Knock yourself out." I glance over my shoulder. "Jess called me…"

"She did?" Arizona furrows her brow as she turns back to face me, a familiar takeout menu in her hands. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I stand. "She was worried about you."

"Worried about me?" She deadpans. "Weird how nobody was worried about me before…" She scoffs. "I'll call her later."

"She wondered if she would be seeing you tonight…" Closing the distance between us, Arizona takes my hand in her own and pulls me into her body. "Will that be happening, or?"

"I should head back later and talk to her…"

"O...kay." I narrow my eyes. "Kinda like how you had to talk to Dani last week?"

"No." She shakes her head, a laugh falling from her mouth. "Just because she doesn't know what's going on and I've been crashing with her since well, you know…"

"Right." I clear my throat. "So, I'll be sleeping alone tonight?"

"Well, I don't know…" She searches my face. "But I can just see Jess another day if that works better for us?"

"No, Jess called because she was worried so you should go and see her." Giving Arizona a genuine smile, she gives me a slight nod in return and holds her cell up to her ear. Placing an order for some food, she reels her list off to the guy on the other end of the phone and I simply watch her. She sounds hot just placing an order for food…how is that even possible? The call ending, she sets down the menu and leans back against the counter. "So, I get you for a few hours at least?"

"You do." She presses her lips to my own. "Good day?"

"The worst…until you arrived."

"So, are you going to tell me why Dani was here?" She raises an eyebrow. "I know it wasn't because you guys are friends."

"Well, I don't know what her problem is but you might want to ask her to take it down a notch." I scoff. "Coming here with attitude won't work for me…"

"Attitude?" Arizona pushes off the counter. "The hell did she say to you?"

"That I should know who you are…now that you are feeling good. Something along those lines, anyway."

"She's spreading lies about me, isn't she?" Arizona shakes her head. "I swear I'm going to kill her."

"Just leave it." I shrug. "It's no big deal."

"What did she say?" She gives me a questioning look. "I need to know, Eliza."

"Just some stuff about your past…how you would go back to sleeping around." I clear my throat. "Threesomes…"

"She didn't." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "She fucking didn't say that…"

"Yeah." I sigh. "But I know she is full of shit so I'm not concerned."

"That was my old life, Eliza." _Wait, that stuff did happen?_ I mean, I know she is a freak in the sheets but threesomes? I didn't expect that. She unravels herself from me and paces the floor. "You know that, right?"

"Of course I know that." I furrow my brow. "Why are you worried? I know I'm not…"

"Because she is clearly out to get me now that I don't want her…"

"Was there ever anything there between you guys?" I ask. I know she has already given me an answer to this but I'm asking again. I need to know so I can be prepared for any kind of comeback. "Anything at all…"

"Nothing worth holding onto." She shrugs as she paces the floor. "I mean, there was some kind of connection there but we are friends. That is all we've ever been."

"Do you think she saw it that way, though?" I ask. "I mean, she seemed pretty mad at you."

"Yes, she knew what we were." Arizona stops and looks me straight in the eye. "She knew we were nothing more…"

"Okay." I nod.

"She was fucking other people anyway." Arizona scoffs. "Now that I'm happy and back with you, she doesn't like that. I don't know why, but no fucking way is she ruining this for me. No way."

"She won't." I close the distance between us and take her hand in my own. "I know the real you. I always have."

"I know you do." She gives me a sad smile as she laces our fingers together. "It doesn't make any of this right, though. I mean, who the fuck does she think she is coming here and talking shit about me?"

"Maybe you need to sit down with her one final time…" I suggest. "You said she wouldn't listen last time?"

"No, she only hears what she wants to hear." Arizona sighs. "I can try again, though. I don't want her coming here running her mouth. Not to your home."

"I'm good." I smile. "Don't worry about me, okay?"

"Hard not to when the woman I love has to listen to that shit." She shakes her head, disappointment evident in her tone. "I am sorry she came here."

"It's no big deal," I reply. "I was kinda bored so it was a little entertainment to keep me going."

"Yeah?" She laughs. "How so?"

"Seeing her freaking out like that…her eyes bulging? It was sort of funny." I shrug. "She may think something else was going on between you guys but I know the truth so all that anger she had built up and the way she was so determined to make me hear her out…it was kinda lost on me."

"You're amazing." She rolls her eyes, playfully. "Amazing and mine."

"Damn right." I give her a nod in agreement. "The sooner Dani knows that the sooner she can stop getting all hepped up. It isn't good for the body to be stressed over something that is never going to happen…"

"Right." Arizona's arms wrap around my waist.

"Just…maybe you should stop giving the women what they want when you're free and single…" I pull her against me. "I'll have a mob outside the door before too long."

"I can promise that." Her lips ghost over my own. "Since I'm not planning on ever being free and single again…"

"Good answer." I smirk. "Very good answer."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	11. Chapter 11

Show Me Heaven: Chapter Eleven

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I swear to God I'm tired of people fucking with my life. Dani knew exactly what was going on between us. It was never a secret. I don't know why she suddenly feels different but I don't like what she did tonight. I don't like how she showed up to Eliza's place and ran her mouth. It isn't fair to Eliza. She knows exactly who I used to be as a person and she knows that I'd never do anything to hurt her. I didn't cheat when I was at my worst so I'm sure as hell not going to cheat now. I mean, is it really that hard to understand? Is it really that hard for Dani to remember the first night we spent together after I left Eliza and I told her that it was a casual thing. If I'm not mistaken, she had already told me that before I relayed it to her later that evening. I don't know what her game is, but I'm done fucking about with her. If she can't be happy for me and she can't allow me to get on with my relationship, I want her out of my life. I want her out of it for good. I don't need people trying to bring me down like this but once again, someone is always testing my fucking patience. _God, I'm so mad right now._

My feet pounding the sidewalk as I near the bar, I slow it down a little and give myself a moment to breathe. I don't need to go in there all guns blazing. Honestly, I think that's what she wants…or what she's expecting, at least. She can hate me all she likes, but she won't drag my girlfriend into this. Eliza isn't a part of this. It's about me and it's about Dani. Nobody else. No exes or current relationships. Just us. I mean, I shouldn't even be doing this. I should be at Eliza's place and spending the evening with her. I've missed her so much today and yeah, I should totally be with her. Not here fucking explaining myself for the millionth time.

Pushing the door to the bar open, I glance around and find Dani talking with one of the girls we usually hang out with. She's nice, but she's a little too 'in your face' for me. I don't need someone throwing themselves at me. Not anymore, anyway. Catching her attention, she looks me up and down and returns to her conversation with Jade. I honestly don't know what her problem is, but it stops now. It really does. Crossing the bar, I stop dead in front of her, my back now to Jade. "In the back, NOW!"

"Change the fucking attitude and I'll think about it!" She smirks.

"Stop fucking around, Dani." I give her a knowing look. "Get in the back!"

"You realize I have a business to run, right?" She steps a little closer to me. "We can't all lie around with a different woman every week."

"Yeah, I'm not doing this with you anymore." I shake my head. "I just want five minutes with you and then I'm gone. For good."

"Oh, really?" She furrows her brow. "Figured you were here for a fuck." Dragging Dani through her bar, I force her outback and she stumbles a little. "What the hell is your problem?"

"You." I slam the door shut. "Why did you go to Eliza's place earlier?"

"She should know what kind of person you are, Zo."

"She knows what kind of person I am." I give her a look of confusion. "My past is my past and I'd appreciate it if you kept it that way."

"Thought she knew all about it, huh?"

"She does…but she doesn't need every last fucking detail about it." I drop down onto one of the beer kegs. "Look, I don't know what is going on with you but why are you trying to ruin this for me, Dan?"

"I don't need to try…" She shrugs. "Eliza will realize who you are soon enough."

"I thought you were my friend." I glance up at her. "I thought we had each other's backs."

"We did." She nods. "And then you chose her…over me."

"We weren't anything." I stand and hold up my hands. "You knew that. It was _always_ the agreement."

"Things change, though." She gives me a sad smile. "For everyone other than you, at least."

"What are you saying?" I furrow my brow.

"What do you think I'm saying?" I hate this back and forth but she never fucking makes it easy. Never.

"That you're into me…" I sigh. "If you'd said, I'd have backed off."

"And miss out on the opportunity to have you to myself?" She raises her eyebrow. "You are joking, right?"

"So, you were willing to put yourself through that even though you knew we would never be anything?"

"I guess I figured if I could keep you around here long enough, you would eventually see that we were good together."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Dan." I take her hands in my own. "But this was never going to be anything. It was fun. Something we both needed at one time. You knew that and I can't be what you want me to be just because you wanted more…"

"I know." She squeezes my hands. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." I breathe out. "Do you want me to avoid this place? Do we have to stop everything?"

"I don't know what you want from me, Zo?" She drops her gaze. "I mean, we aren't seeing this the same way."

"No, we're not." I agree. "You know I love Eliza. That's never been a secret."

"The more time that passed…I just got carried away, okay?"

"I wish you'd talked this out with me." I step away from her. "I wish you could've been honest with me, Dan. I didn't ever want to lose you as a friend. I knew this was a bad idea…"

"It's my own fault." She shrugs. "I knew I'd get attached but I went ahead with it anyway."

"I should go." I sigh. "I'm sorry…"

"It was great having you around, Zo." Glancing back over my shoulder, Dani gives me a small smile and I return one of my own. "Just…give me some time, okay?"

"Time for what?" I ask as I place my hand on the door.

"Time to go back to how we were." She sighs. "Back to just being friends."

"I'm not sure we can be friends, Dani," I admit. "I want that more than anything, but I can't allow you to interfere with my relationship. Right now, that's how I feel it's going to go."

"I'll try, okay?" She gives me a knowing look. "I'll try to just be your friend."

"Sure, yeah." Heading out into the bar, I feel a little different to how I did earlier. I need to lie down. I need a minute to myself to realize what has just happened. Sure, I knew Dani was perfectly okay with the sleeping around part but to know that she's into me like that…no, I didn't think that was ever going to happen. Nobody ever wanted more with me so why now does everything have to be different? Why are people suddenly craving a relationship with me? None of it makes sense. _Fuck!_

* * *

I'm sitting in my car outside Eliza's place. Why? I don't know. It's three in the morning and I'm sitting in my freaking car. I haven't tossed and turned for a long time during the night but tonight…that happened. Usually, I can control my thoughts. Usually, I can stop them from keeping me awake but tonight I just couldn't. Tonight I lay there thinking about Eliza and now I'm sitting outside her home…in my car. I guess it could be worse. I could be sitting on the sidewalk or her porch waiting for an acceptable time to knock on her door, but no…I'm in my car like an asshole. I mean, I'm fully expecting someone to come out of their home and question why I'm here. I'd like to believe I have an answer should that happen, but I genuinely don't. It's as simple as that. _I miss her._

I called her after I left the bar earlier and told her I was headed back to Jess' to talk to her. She seemed fine about it but I've only received one message from her since and that was simply to say goodnight. I shouldn't be receiving a text from her. She should be saying it to me. She should be saying it whilst my arms are wrapped around her and we are snuggling in bed. That should be happening, but it's not. I seriously need to decide what I'm doing here. I mean, I want to spend more time with her but I feel like I'm going back on my word. I told her I wanted to take it slow but now I feel like I don't want that anymore. I don't want to leave here each night and go back to Jess' place. She's been great and I told her that when I was there earlier, but I should be here. I should be sleeping soundly with Eliza by my side.

Glancing at the front of her home, my heart sinks into my stomach when the porch light flickers on and the door opens. _Shit! Fuck!_ How the hell do I explain that I'm just sitting here minding my own business? How do I even come up with an excuse? _Maybe I should just be honest with her?_ I'm sure she would appreciate that more than anything else. Sighing, I climb from my car and quietly close the door. Approaching her, I toy with my keys and clear my throat. "Hey, uh…"

"Arizona, why are you sitting outside in your car?" She gives me a look of confusion.

"Why are you still awake?" I counter.

"I couldn't sleep…" She sighs. "Seems having you here the past two nights has messed with my routine."

"I couldn't sleep, either." I give her a sad smile. "I figured I'd drive over here and wait until morning to knock."

"Seriously?" She deadpans. "You were going to sit here all night?"

"Well, yeah." I furrow my brow. "I wasn't about to knock and wake you."

"That's adorable." She takes my hand in her own. "But I'm done standing out here and so are you…" Dragging me inside, she closes the door behind us both and locks it for the night. "You should've called."

"I thought you were sleeping…" I roll my eyes. "I didn't want to sit there for the fun of it, trust me."

"What's on your mind?" She asks as she studies my face.

"You." I shrug as she powers off the TV and sends the lower level into darkness. "I'd rather be here with you than at Jess' place."

"Mm…" She gives me a nod in agreement as she guides us both up the staircase. "I'd rather that, too." Reaching the bedroom, she tightens her grip on my hand and a small smile settles on my mouth. "Just feels better with you here."

Remaining quiet, I close the door behind us and Eliza turns to face me. "What's that?" I ask as my eyes land on a necklace she is wearing.

"Oh." She covers it with her hand. "N-Nothing…" Turning her back, I grip her wrist before she can leave my space. "Arizona, don't."

"Hey…" I furrow my brow. "What's wrong?" Removing her hand, I study the piece of jewelry being secured by the necklace and glance back up at her.

"I'll take it off…"

"Why?" I ask.

"I haven't been wearing it whilst you're here." She admits. "I didn't expect to see you tonight so I kept it on."

"You've been wearing it since I left?" I ask, my voice breaking. "Really?"

"It was the only thing I had to remind me of what we once were." I love her honesty. I really do. "Sometimes it hurt, but knowing that this ring was once on my finger, it gave me some hope. Not much, but some."

"You kept it." My heart breaking for the time we've spent apart, my thumb brushes Eliza's cheek and her eyes close. "You kept it…"

"I kept it." She leans into my touch.

"Why did you take it off when I was here?"

"In case you asked for it back." Her eyes open, a sad smile forming on her mouth. "I wasn't sure how you'd feel about me still wearing it."

"Don't ever think I'd take it from you." I give her a knowing look, my lips pressing against her own. "This will always belong to you." I want to ask her to put it back where it belongs but I'm not sure we're there yet. I mean, one day…maybe, but right now things are how they should be. "I love you, Eliza."

"I love you, too."

* * *

I've been awake for a little while but it feels good to just be still and listen to my girlfriend breathing perfectly beside me. Yesterday was full of all kinds of emotions for me but I'm dealing with them okay. I mean, I have things on my mind but it's nothing that I can't handle. After the last eight months, I've come to realize that I can handle anything life throws at me. _She kept her engagement ring._ A smile curling on my mouth as I turn to face Eliza, I study her profile and my fingertip traces her jawline. "You are so beautiful." My words barely above a whisper, her features change slightly and a low groan falls from her mouth. Grazing her lips, she smiles a small smile and I lean in a little closer, my lips now ghosting over her own. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Pulling me in closer, her arm wraps around my waist and she relaxes again. "Thank you for coming over last night."

"Wouldn't want to be anywhere else." I breathe out. "I would've sat there all night if I had to."

"I know." She sighs. "Guess we both recognized that something wasn't right, though…"

"You've lost me."

"Neither of us could sleep." She nuzzles into my chest. "I had no reason to look out of the window, but I did."

"Yeah?"

"Something didn't feel right…" She says, her voice filled with sleep. "You were here waiting for me…"

"Always." My fingers run through her hair. "I'll always be here, Eliza."

"I know." She glances up at me. "But I know you can't always be here and I'm okay with that. I guess I just got my hopes up when you woke here yesterday and the morning before that."

"Seems everyone keeps getting their hopes up where I'm concerned." My words more of a whine, Eliza furrows her brow. "Sorry." I shake my head.

"What does that mean?"

"Just…Dani." I shrug. "Seems she got her hopes up where we were concerned."

"Thought so…" She gives me a sad smile. "At least she was finally honest with you."

"But now I feel awful about it," I admit. "I feel like I've totally gone back to my old ways without even realizing it."

"How did you figure that out?" She sits up on her elbow, the sheet falling to her waist. _Shit, she's incredible._ Focus on the conversation, Zo.

"Well, I went and let my wants get the better of me and she got hurt in the end. Isn't that who I used to be? Isn't that what I was trying to fix through therapy?"

"No, you were fixing yourself." She gives me a knowing look. "You told her it was a casual thing."

"I did but I should've known better, I guess." I shrug. "I mean, I didn't think she ever thought of me that way so when she suggested it and I agreed, it didn't seem like it would be an issue."

"I'm sorry it ended this way." She says. "I mean, I'm not…but for your sake, I am."

"No, I get that." I smile. "I don't want her behaving like that now I have you back in my life, Eliza. I don't want her to ruin anything we have. I'm only just building this all back up with you…"

"I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me." She leans in, her lips connecting with my own. "I've never doubted that. Never."

"Good." I wrap my hand around the back of her neck, our kiss deepening. So long as she knows I'm totally here and in this, I'm not concerned about anyone else. How can I be? She is my priority. My main focus. Eliza and our relationship are all I need to have on my mind right now. Everything else is irrelevant. "I could kiss you forever."

"Good thing that is the plan then, huh?" She pulls back and gives me an adorable smile. "Arizona…"

"What is it?" I furrow my brow.

"Do you think maybe one day you will come home?" I can see that worry in her eyes but she really has nothing to worry about. She knows I want a future with her. At least, I think she does. I guess we haven't discussed anything past the fact that we are back together so I should probably reassure her. It's the right thing to do. "You may not see it, but I'd really like that to be a possibility one day."

"Do you want me to come home one day?" I ask as I push her down onto the mattress and straddle her legs. "Do you imagine me back here every morning? Every night?"

"I do." She breathes out, her hands finding my thighs. "I imagine it every time I wake beside you…"

"Then yes." I lean down, smiling into a kiss. "I'd love to one day come home…"

"Thank god." She breathes against my mouth. Our naked centers connecting, a low moan rumbles in my throat and I can feel her wetness mixing with my own. "Oh, that feels good." Her hips thrusting up, I can feel her throbbing for me. I can feel her swollen clit pressing against my own.

"Fuck." Falling forward on my hands, I roll my hips again and she grips my back. "T-That…wow." Shifting a little, I lift her leg onto my shoulder and find myself now rolling my sex against her own at an angle. "Shit, Eliza…you're soaking."

"Mm, so are you." Our pace picks up and our moans grow louder, the sound of sex filling the air. "Shit, yes." Her nails gripping my thigh, every second is growing that little bit harder and faster. "Mm, don't stop."

"Never." My breathing ragged, I throw my head back and my mouth falls open as she tugs my nipple. "Yes, just like that." I pant. "Fuck, just like that."

"Shit, I'm gonna come so hard for you, Arizona." Those words sending me closer to the edge, my breathing is a little more erratic than before but it feels good. Not having that control I once had. Not worrying that I need to do or say something to make this moment hotter. We're already hot and I've always known that in the back of my mind. "S-So close." She gasps. "Arizona…" My name more of a moan, Eliza shudders beneath me and I too fall over the edge.

"Fuck, shit." I slowly grind against her. "Oh god." Hissing in pleasure, the sound of our soaked sex is all I can hear. Arousal is all I can feel. "You make me crazy…"

"That was fucking hot." She pulls me down against her. "You are so fucking hot." Her lips working my neck, I tilt my head a little and allow her better access. "Everything about you."

"Something tells me today is going to be one hell of a good day…" I smile against the skin of her neck as I inhale her scent. "A good day…spent in bed."

"Crazy how we always have the same thoughts." That adorable giggle I've missed is like music to my ears and it only encourages me to hold her that little bit tighter. "Come home, Arizona." She whispers. "Just...come home."

"It's not too soon?" I pull back and study her face.

"I'm not sure it will ever be too soon." Her eyes are holding nothing but complete certainty. "But that is just my opinion."

"You want me to come home…" I breathe out, my thumb ghosting over her bottom lip. "You're sure?"

"Never been more sure about anything in my life…"

"I'll come home…" I whisper against her mouth. "To you. To us." Her eyes closing, her bottom lip trembles and a tear slips down her face. "Hey…"

"Sorry." She cries, the heels of her hands pressing into her eyes. "Just…ignore me." She laughs. "I'm being stupid."

"Talk about my girlfriend like that again and I'll kick your ass."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	12. Chapter 12

Show Me Heaven: Chapter Twelve

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

She said yes. Oh god, Arizona said yes to moving back in with me. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? What the hell am I supposed to say to that? Obviously, it's all I want but is she being honest? Does she truly want to move back home? I feel like she does and I feel like she wants to be here with me but surely this is all too good to be true? Surely she is just telling what I want to hear. God, the thought of her being back here is making my stomach somersault. It really is. _Fuck._ Like, am I supposed to do things differently this time around? I feel like I should try a different approach but I'm not sure where to even begin. What if she wants different things now that we have a second chance? Ugh, I don't know where to start with anything at all and right now, I feel helpless. I feel like I don't know myself anymore. Glancing down at my cell as it buzzes on the kitchen counter, a smile settles on my face.

 ** _Did you want me to cook dinner tonight? Zo x_**

 ** _Dinner would be amazing, thank you. E x_**

 ** _Consider it done then. I miss you. Zo x_**

 ** _I miss you, too. E x_**

Running my fingers through my hair, I release a deep breath and close my eyes. Maybe I could ask some of her friends how much she has changed. I don't know. I could call Jess. I'm sure she wouldn't mind. _Wait, is that really a good idea?_ No, I can't call Jess and ask her about my girlfriend. That would make me sound like a complete idiot. _Come on, Eliza. Get it together._ I mean, I know Arizona better than anyone else…or I did. That's what I'm struggling with. What if I mess this up again? I'm already about to head into my final chance with her and I'm not sure I'll survive if I mess up again. No, I know I wouldn't survive. She is my life. My oxygen. I haven't felt as alive as I do since she returned. I haven't felt so completely in love and happy since we decided to try again.

 ** _Can we talk tonight? E x_**

 ** _Sure, everything okay? Zo x_**

 ** _Yeah, just my own worries. E x_**

Admitting that I'm scared to her doesn't worry me but it does make me wonder if she will think twice about my offer. She may decide that she doesn't need someone like me around anymore. I'm so not the person I used to be and I need her to know that. I need her to know that whilst she left and gained a world of confidence…I didn't. I lost mine. I lost everything I once was. Why? Because it messed everything up for us so I pushed it away. I refused to allow myself to feel good. I couldn't have her and I didn't want anyone else so I simply shut down and locked myself away at every possible chance I got. I know I shouldn't have done that but I didn't want to go out and find someone else. I didn't want to even seem attractive to anyone else. Why would I? I'd just hurt the one person I loved more than anything in the world so why did I deserve to have the attention on me from other women? Why did I deserve to feel anything at all? Arizona was broken and I was the cause of that. That's why I did what I did. That's why I shut myself off from the world and everything I once knew. Everything I once was. Now, I'm struggling to feel good about myself. Sure, when my girlfriend is here it's hard not to feel good about myself, but when I'm alone and given the opportunity to think things over, my own worries creep to the forefront of my mind. My own fears consume me and I sit here wondering if I'll ever get back to that place again. Arizona has gained the world whilst I was busy crushing my own. It really is as simple as that.

 ** _I don't like hearing you are worried, Eliza. Zo x_**

 ** _I'll be okay. E x_**

 ** _Damn right you will. I love you and that is what you have to focus on. Zo x_**

 ** _I love you, too. E x_**

Smiling at my girlfriend's reassurance, I can't help that little hint of happiness I feel when she is in my life. Even if it is just a simple text message, it means the world and more to me. It means she is thinking about me. About us. It means she wants to converse with me when she should be working. Just like she used to do.

 ** _I'll see you and that gorgeous smile in a few hours. Zo x_**

 ** _Thank you. E x_**

 ** _For what? Zo x_**

 ** _Being great about all of this. Being you… E x_**

 ** _You know we are in a good place. The past has gone, Eliza. I need you to remember that. It's gone and I'm more than ready to move forward. Zo x_**

How can I ever be worried when she is saying things like this to me? How can I even begin to worry about the future when Arizona is more than sure about us? I mean, I don't expect things to be perfect all of the time but we both know what we want…and that is each other. Our love. The love that was once lost but is back tenfold. That is honestly how I feel right now. Like she couldn't ever possibly give me any more love. Everything she has within her is for me and I can feel that. When she looks at me. When she holds me. Even when she is just talking to me. I feel it and I can't ever let it go again. I'd be a fool to ever ruin this. A complete fool.

Taking my coffee from the kitchen counter, I approach the couch and drop down onto it. I have a few hours to get a grip of myself and then she will be here. Arizona will be sitting beside me and everything will be exactly how it is supposed to be. Just us. Relaxed and settling down together for the evening. What more could I ever ask for? How could I ever want more than what she is giving me right now? Arizona has given me herself and that in itself is something I never expected again. _God, I love her so much that it hurts._

* * *

"I'm home…" Pulled from my thoughts, a smile settles on my mouth and I take the staircase slowly. "Eliza?"

"I'm here." She catches me heading down towards her. "You just said 'home'." I give her a small smile.

"I did." Her dimples pop and my heart pounds in my chest. "And I got you these…" She pulls out a bouquet of flowers from behind her back. "Figured you could brighten the place up with them a little."

"This place brightened the second you walked through the door…" Pulling her in closer, my lips crush into her own and she moans into my mouth. "They're beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you." She shrugs as I release her from my grip. "Good day?"

"Honestly?" I raise an eyebrow and Arizona simply nods. "No…"

"Why? Did something happen?" She furrows her brow. "I mean, you should've called."

"N-No…" I try to reassure her. "Nothing happened. Well, I happened but that's nothing new." I sigh. "Sorry, just…I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." She heads for the kitchen. "Mind if I grab a beer?"

"Not at all." I wave off her question. "Help yourself." Giving me a smile, she cracks her beer open and moves through into the living room.

"Sit…" She motions for me to join her and I round the couch.

"Everything okay?" I furrow my brow.

"With me?" She raises her eyebrow. "Oh, yes…perfect." She smiles. "With you? I'm not so sure."

"I didn't mean to worry you earlier." I tug at my fingers. "I just…are you sure you want to move back in with me, Arizona?"

"Damn right I'm sure." She almost chokes on her beer. "Are _you_ sure, though?" She asks, her body completely relaxed. "It's okay if you're not…"

"No, I am." I hold up my hands. "I'm just worried I'm going to mess us up again."

"That isn't going to happen." She shakes her head in disagreement. "Not in this lifetime."

"I know you are trying to be positive and feel good about this but are you sure? I mean, was I supposed to wait to ask you to come home?"

"Did you want to wait?" She asks. "Did you want to continue at the pace we've been taking?"

"Not really, no." I wrinkle my nose. "I know I want you here, I'm just scared is all."

"You have nothing to be scared about, Eliza." She sets her beer bottle down and takes my hand in her own. "Unless you aren't ready for this then I need for you to not worry. I'm certainly not."

"Not even a little?" I study her face.

"Not in the slightest." She gives me a full smile. "I'm feeling so good about this and I'd hoped you would be, too."

"I am…most of the time." I breathe out. "I'll get there, okay?"

"I know you will." She shrugs, a little cockiness in her voice. "I'm not concerned." Sitting back in her seat, she kicks her feet up on the coffee table and my smile grows wider. I love this. I love her. Her confidence was once intimidating but now I've come to truly love it. She's worked so hard for this and honestly, it's kinda hot. _That's a lie…it's really hot._ "Sit with me a while?" She opens her arm to me and I settle down beside her, her arm wrapping around my shoulder. "You know I love you, Eliza…"

"I do." I rest my head against her chest. "And I love you, too."

"Everything else will fall into place…trust me."

"You've no idea how good it is to see you like this, Arizona." I sigh. "Just…it's so good."

"Just getting back to myself." She shrugs. "Who I should've been a long time ago."

"I mean, I loved you the first time around…but this?" I smile as I glance up at her. "Incredible."

"Yeah?" Her smile widens. "You think I look good?"

"You look like nothing else I've ever witnessed." I breathe out. "It looks good on you, okay?"

"Then I will remember that." She throws me a wink. "You feeling better?"

"Yeah." I wrap my arm around her waist. "You make me feel better."

"It's what I'm here for." She presses a kiss to my forehead. "And I was thinking if it's okay with you…I'll move my crap back in."

"More than okay with me." I agree. "Can you believe we are here together right now?"

"Honestly, I can believe it." Arizona gives me a nod. "I knew I wanted you back a while ago but things got in the way…"

"Who told you that I was dating?" I ask. "I mean, not many people know me."

"Dani." She scoffs. "She said she had seen you in town with another woman…hand holding…kisses. You know?"

"Dani?" I sit up and raise an eyebrow. "What the hell is her problem?"

"I think we both know what her problem is, Eliza." She gives me a knowing look. "But don't worry about it…I won't let her come between us."

"You think she will try?"

"I'm not sure," Arizona admits. "I'd like to believe that she will stick to her word and back off but I don't know. I've never been in this situation with her."

"I swear to god, Arizona." My eyes close and I grit my teeth. "If she tries anything…I'll kill her."

"Okay, that's hot." She sits forward in her seat. "Really hot."

"No, don't do that." I hold up my hands. "Don't try and change the direction this is going in…"

"Would I do such a thing?" She smirks. "Look…" Her features a little more serious when she realizes I'm not playing, she clears her throat and takes my hands in her own. "I wouldn't let anyone come between us, Eliza. I don't care who they are or what they have to say…I'm never losing you again. I promise."

"I just…" Cut off when her hands find my neck, she removes my necklace and my heart sinks into my stomach. "Please don't take it from me, Arizona." My voice breaking, my eyes fill with tears as she slips my engagement ring from it's home for the past eight months. "Please…"

"I want this back where it belongs." She slips it on my finger. "Where it always should've been."

"Y-You mean that?" I glance down at it as it sits so perfectly on my hand. "Really?"

"Really." She presses a kiss to the piece of jewelry. "It never should've left your hand…I'm sorry."

"You want this with me?" I furrow my brow. "But you said as you were leaving that you would never marry anyone…"

"And I won't." She says with complete certainty. "Only you." Okay, I don't even know what to do with any of this right now. The past few weeks have been so overwhelming that I'm not sure how much longer I can continue breathing. I mean, it's one emotion after another smacking me in the face and I feel like I'm close to having a breakdown. "If you still want this…" She holds my hand up between us. "…then so do I."

"I do." My eyes close and I steady my breathing. "I want this more than anything."

"And I want it soon." She admits. "I don't want to wait around to see if anything gets in our way. I want you to be my wife and I want to just move on from everything we've already had between us."

"You want to plan…now?" My eyes widen. "You actually mean that?"

"Of course, I do." She furrows her brow. "Why wait?"

"Uh…to give you the time to realize you're making a mistake."

"You have _never_ been a mistake." She shakes her head in disagreement. "Our situation became a mistake but you? Never."

"I want us to be happy, Arizona." I press a kiss to her knuckles. "I want us to be incredible together…"

"Oh, beautiful." She pulls me into a strong embrace. "We were always incredible together."

"And now?" I pull back, my eyes finding hers. "What do we do now?"

"We love life." Her dimples pop. "Life and each other. Everyone else…they can go to hell." She shrugs. "I have no interest in anyone who wants to fuck with me. With me or my life. Our relationship. You mean too much to me to even risk it."

"We've got this." I smile as my lips ghost across her own. "We've so freaking got this."

"Always did, baby." Pulling me into her lap, Arizona's soft hands find the skin beneath my tee. "And we always will…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	13. Chapter 13

Show Me Heaven: Chapter Thirteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Everything feels so good right now. I'm officially moved back into my old home and Eliza's fears seem to have settled a little. I can understand why she is worried, but I'm not. Not at all. I've never felt so at peace with my life as I do right now. I may have even shocked _myself_ with the outcome of my therapy sessions, but I've come to terms with it now. I've come to terms with the fact that I deserve more and that I always did. I wasn't overly hopeful when I stepped inside that office some seven months ago, but as the weeks passed, I could feel the difference in myself. I could feel the difference in everything my life was. Everything it was becoming. Once that feeling of worthlessness left me, I felt like I could breathe for the first time in so many years. I felt like I could do and be anything I wanted. Yes, I thought it would be short-lived but it wasn't. I've only grown stronger. More confident. Some may say even a little cocky. If that is what works for me though, I'll take it. With both hands. Maybe I'll have a slump down the line but I don't plan on that happening. I don't plan on ever returning to the mess my ex-wife once played a part in. I'm here and I'm breathing. I'm breathing so perfectly and so clearly that it's sometimes hard to believe. Hard to believe but so very very true. _God, this feels better than ever before._

Settled on my back beneath the car I've been working on all morning, I roll out from under it and climb to my feet. I'm covered in the usual crap after working on a clients vehicle but Eliza doesn't ever seem to mind. Weird, I know…but it's just what she's into and I'm not about to complain about it. Smiling at the thought of my girlfriend getting a little hot and bothered, I turn around, startled when I find Jess standing on the drive. "Oh, hey." I smile as I wipe my hands on a rag and clear my throat. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just figured I'd drop by and see you." She shrugs, her hands shoved in the back pockets of her jeans. "A lot of work on, huh?"

"Actually, yeah." I close the distance between us and we take a seat on the top step of the porch. "You not working today?"

"Nope." She disagrees. "Thought I'd see if you wanted to hang out but you're busy."

"Hang here if you like," I suggest. "I know it's hardly fun but I shouldn't be much longer."

"Maybe we could grab a beer when you're done?"

"Yeah." I nod. "I'd like that."

"Yeah?" Jess' eyes brighten.

"Of course." My brow furrowed, she suddenly seems less nervous. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Just…I haven't really heard from you." She gives me a sad smile. "Figured Eliza didn't really want me around."

"Oh, no." I shake my head. "It isn't like that. I've just been getting back into things with her, is all. I'm sorry I've neglected you."

"Don't worry about it." She smiles. "Just kinda got used to having you around." I appreciate everything Jess has done for me but I'm home now. I don't plan on forgetting about her, but I need to know how Eliza feels about me remaining friends with her. She hasn't really mentioned Jess to be honest but that doesn't mean she is happy with it. I'd understand if she wasn't.

"You know, we should really grab that beer when I'm done here. Head out somewhere?"

"Sounds perfect." She agrees. "Eliza doing okay?"

"She is." My smile widens at the mention of her name. "She's inside working right now."

"I heard she's been working with Kaden. That's awesome."

"Mm…" I narrow my eyes as I focus on the street ahead of me. "Fucking great."

"O...kay." Jess senses my dislike. "Care to share?"

"She's a bitch." I shrug. "And I don't trust her."

"I'm sure you have nothing to worry about." Jess places her hand on my own, reassuring me.

"No?" I raise an eyebrow. "She's already asked if I know 'who I'm dealing with'." A throaty laugh falling from Jess' mouth, she knows I'm going to blow if Kaden even tries to get close to my fiancé again. "I'll freak, I swear to God."

"Oh, I don't doubt that." She holds up her hands. "Just focus on your relationship and everything else will work out, Zo. You know that…"

"I trust Eliza," I say with complete certainty. "I always have."

"I know." She gives me a small smile. "And I know how much you love her so you have to concentrate on that. Don't let some bitch who thinks she's someone get in between you guys."

"I knew there was a reason you were my friend." I squeeze her hand. "Thanks, Jess." A silence settling between us, I give myself a minute to relax before I get back to work. I'm hoping Eliza won't be too angry about my plans to grab a drink with Jess, but I couldn't blame her if she didn't agree. "I'll get finished up here, okay?"

"Sure. Do what you gotta do." She rests back on her palms. "You want me to get out of here and meet you in a while?"

"No, stay." I stand, giving her a smile. Eliza knows Jess took care of me whilst we were separated so yeah, she's going to be totally fine with all of this. _God, I hope she will be._ I don't really want to lose her as a friend, she's been awesome and honestly, I couldn't have done all of this alone.

* * *

"So, you're sure it's okay for Jess to hang out?" I head into the kitchen and find Eliza packing some of her work away. "I mean, I can rearrange…"

"It's fine, Arizona." My fiancé gives me a genuine smile. "I'm just going to take this upstairs and give you guys some space."

"You don't want to hang out with us?"

"No, I'm good." She stands. "And you haven't seen her in a while so it will be good for you to catch up."

"Well, yeah." I furrow my brow. "But you can be here for that. I mean, I _want_ you to be here for that."

"That's sweet but I have things to do." Pressing a kiss below my ear, she moves towards the staircase and I feel like I should follow her. I feel like I'm not satisfied with her answer. Deciding to give Eliza a few minutes, I grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator and pull myself up onto a stool. Jess had to leave earlier when she received a call from a client and I foolishly suggested she come by without running it by my fiancé first. I guess I just figured everything would be okay and it wouldn't require a discussion but something inside of me is telling me that I should approach the subject again. Pulling my cell from my pocket, I send off a quick message.

 ** _Hey, can you give me an hour? Zo x_**

 ** _Sure. Everything okay? Jess x_**

 ** _Of course. Just need to get cleaned up. Zo x_**

Setting my cell down on the kitchen counter, I remove myself from my seat and head for the staircase. I don't think Eliza is mad at me, but I just want to check in with her again before I do something she doesn't like. I may be home but we are still only just getting back to us. We are still working through all of this and I have to remember that. I may be feeling amazing, but Eliza may not. Taking the stairs two at a time, I head for the bedroom when I hear movement inside. "Eliza?"

"Yeah?" She calls out. "In here…"

Pushing the door open, I find her sorting through her closet, her back to me. "Can I grab your attention for five minutes?" I ask as I move further into the room.

"Sure, what's up?" She turns to face me, her brow furrowed.

"Come here…" Holding out my hand, I drop down on the edge of our bed and she closes the distance between us. "You know Jess and I are just friends, right?"

"Of course, I do." She laughs and the bed dips beside me. "You think I'm worried about you two?"

"Well, I guess not but I just wanted to be sure." I smile. "Just doing my job is all."

"Your job?" Her voice is laced with confusion.

"You know, as your fiancé." I shrug. "To make sure you are feeling okay and if I got to reassure you, I will do that."

"Arizona…" She cups my face with her hands. "I love you and I trust you."

"Good." My smile widens as I lean into her touch and close my eyes. "I've missed your soft hands…"

"Mm, I've missed having them all over your body." My eyes open and I find her chewing on her bottom lip. "You know how much they _love_ your body."

"I do." I nod. "Maybe they need a little reminder?"

"Oh." Eliza narrows her eyes. "Did you have something in mind?"

"Well, I have to take a shower before Jess gets here so unfortunately, it will have to wait for another time."

"Mm, that's a shame." She feigns disappointment. "You should go and do what you need to do."

"Yeah." I sigh as I stand from the bed. Stripping my shirt from my body, my tank is removed swiftly and I hear my fiancé moan. "See you in a while." Disappearing out of the bedroom, I cross the hall and head straight for the shower. Turning the taps, I give the water a moment to heat to the right temperature before stepping underneath. Groaning as it warms my body, I hear Eliza enter the bathroom but I play stupid. I'm already soaked just thinking about her but that is a common occurrence in our household. It always was.

"Hi, beautiful…" Her body pressing against my own, the sudden urge to be taken by my fiancé is too much to bear.

"Make me feel good, Eliza." My fingers tangling in her hair, I force her down my body and she smiles as her knees hit the floor. "Make me yours."Her tongue trailing up my inner thigh, my legs shake a little but I manage to hold myself up. "Fuck, your mouth feels so good on my body." My words clearly doing something to her, she nudges my legs further apart and runs her thumb through my soaked sex. Soaked is an understatement. I am absolutely dripping with want. Completely giving myself to her. _How the hell did I ever get this woman?_ Grinding my sex down against her hand, she knows I need more and she is the one to give it to me. She will only ever be the one to give it to me. Dipping two fingers into molten heat, I sink down a little harder and she hits me deeper. "Ugh, yes." I moan as her lips envelop my swollen clit and she sucks it into her mouth. My legs shaking, it makes her smile but she doesn't let up with her movements. She doesn't falter.

"You taste so good." The vibrations of her words rippling through my core, my grip in her hair tightens and I roll my hips against her mouth. Fresh arousal released from my body, I don't know how I'm holding on right now. Pumping in and out of me, I feel my walls tighten but I'm not quite ready to end this just yet. I want her to really make me feel good and I want to give her anything she wants. I know she loves taking control and this will be the first time she has really done that since we got back together. I'm not concerned about this situation anymore and she should know that. Removing her mouth from my center, I moan at the loss of contact as she stands and crushes her lips into my own. Slipping out of me, she bites down on my bottom lip and my eyes shoot open. "Turn around," She whispers against my mouth. "Right now."

"Oh." My eyebrow raised, I give her a smirk and do as she asks. My palms now flat against the cool tiled wall, she forces my body against it and my breath catches in my throat. "You know, you're touching me like you're taking me back." I tease. "Like I belong to you…"

"You _do_ belong to me." Her tone low, she feels me shudder. "And don't ever forget it." My legs spreading once more, Eliza's nails drag up the back of my thigh before she heads back to the place where she knows I want her. Gliding back in unsuspectingly, my cheek is flat against the wall and seeing her like this is turning me on like never before. Seeing her so sure and controlling because I'm jammed between her body is kinda hot. "May I fuck you like you belong to me?" She asks as her lips press against my ear. _Oh god._ Something about Eliza talking like this is the biggest turn on ever.

"Please do." I moan as I step back a little and bend ever so slightly at the waist. "And do it fast."

"You want me to fuck you…" She teases as her movements begin slow and soft.

"Y-Yeah." I nod slightly as her fingers wiggle inside of me. "Please."

"Hard?" She whispers.

"So hard." I groan as she picks up her pace a little.

"And deep?" She smiles as she bites down on my shoulder.

"Deeper than ever before." I breathe out as she adds a third finger. "Fuck…" Her free arm wrapping around my waist, I lean back into her body a little and Eliza's fingers work me like never before. "Oh God, yes." I pant as every thrust hits deeper than the previous. Every thrust pulling me further towards the edge. "Faster," I beg.

"Anything for you, beautiful." Pounding into me, her focus is totally on me right now. Everything in this moment is about me. My hand gripping the wrist that is holding me up, I dig my nails into her skin and my breasts bounce. "Jesus, you're so fucking hot." Her chin resting on my shoulder, my mouth falls open and my breath catches with every thrust she gives me. "Everything about you is so fucking hot." Curling her fingers, my body writhes against her own and she knows I'm barely holding on right now. "I love how you just take me in." She smiles as her tongue runs up the shell of my ear. "But I want you to come, Arizona. Come for me." Whimpering as my orgasm builds deep within me, my nails dig deeper into her skin. I know she likes a little pain, and I know it only makes her fuck me harder. "I can feel you," She whispers. "Throbbing and desperate for release."

"Eliza…" I moan as my eyes slam shut. "God, you fuck me so good."

"Touch yourself and come, Arizona. Come hard." She demands. My hand that has been braced against the wall drops between my legs and a gasp leaves my mouth as I roll my fingertips over my throbbing clit. "That's it." She moans as my walls squeeze her tight. "Do it!"

"Oh fuck." My body jolting forward, I release her wrist and bend away from her. My hand gripping the wall, I roll my fingers over my clit and she slams into me from behind. "FUCK Eliza…oh god. Don't stop. Please, baby… D-Don't stop." My body stiffening, she slows her movements but doesn't stop. She wants me to feel every last ripple of this and judging by the sounds coming from my mouth, that is exactly what she is doing. "Shit, Eliza." My body ready to hit the floor at any moment, she pulls me up and turns me in her arms. Her fingers slipping out of me as my walls force them out, I whimper at the immediate loss and my eyes close. "Wow…" I breathe out as my chest heaves, my breathing erratic. "Just, wow."

"Fuck, that was hot." She crushes her lips into my own. "And I so needed that."

"Y-You did." I try to settle my breathing. "I think I'm the one who needed that."

"Mm, certainly felt like what you needed." She smirks against my mouth. "Feels so good when you let go like that."

"Yeah?" I brush her hair from her neck and suck on that sweet spot below her ear. "You like it when you fuck me hard?"

"Mm, I do." She tilts her head, allowing me better access. "You never used to allow that…"

"And now I know what I've been missing out on." I know there were a small number of occasions when I gave into Eliza, but they were few and far between. I won't make that mistake again. When she wants me, she can totally have me. She knows that, too. "The tables are turning, beautiful…" I trail my tongue across her jawline. "And…" I whisper against her mouth. "I cannot wait to see what you have to give me."

"Fuck."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	14. Chapter 14

Show Me Heaven: Chapter Fourteen

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _God I miss her._ Arizona has taken the evening out to hang with Jess and yeah, I miss her more than I care to admit. I told her it was okay and it is, but I still miss her a ridiculous amount. I mean, you'd think not having her in my life for so long would make things easier, but it hasn't. Now I've had a taste of Arizona again, I'm struggling to think about anything other than her. Those eyes. That smile. How she looks at me with complete love and confidence. Confidence for how our relationship is and will always be. Yeah, I miss her and I want to see her. She asked me if I wanted to join her and Jess but I declined the offer. Sure, I know Jess is nothing but her friend, but I'm still not overly keen on her. At one time, she was a bitch so no…I'd rather just keep my distance if it's all the same. I don't need to be a part of every aspect of Arizona's life, and I think this part of her should be kept separate. It's not necessary for me to join her with her friends. So long as she comes home and holds me each night, I can live with this time away from each other. _That's a lie, but whatever._

Sinking down onto the couch, I release a deep breath and flick through the channels on the huge TV in front of me. As usual, I've found myself with nothing to do but Arizona will be home soon enough. Drunk, probably…but home nonetheless. Earlier, things got really hot in the shower and my mind has been in overdrive since. I mean, she never lets me take control like that. At least, she never used to. I can't say I didn't enjoy it though because I totally did. How she just let go. How she begged for more from me. Yeah, it was all kinds of hot and I don't plan on that ever being our last time. _God, she's changed so much._ She's changed, but I still love her. I don't need her to be the fragile one in this relationship. I don't want either of us to feel that way. How she is right now is all I ever wanted her to be and she isn't letting me down. She's totally open and honest about who she is and what she wants, so yeah…the longer this continues the better. My cell buzzing on the couch beside me, I glance down and find a message from the woman who's currently on my mind.

 ** _You wanna know something?_**

 ** _Um, sure. E x_**

 ** _I've never been fucked as good as you fucked me this afternoon. Zo x_**

Oh god. Wow. Shit. I don't even know what to say to that. She is trying to work me up and it's working. It's totally working and now I'm beginning to wish I was sitting beside her while she whispered these things in my ear.

 ** _Glad I could give you what you needed. E x_**

 ** _Mm, you did. Soaked just thinking about it right now. Zo x_**

 ** _Yeah? Maybe you need a little more when you come home. E x_**

 ** _No maybe about it, gorgeous. Zo x_**

 ** _Kinda making me a little wet, too. E x_**

 ** _Yeah? Zo x_**

 ** _Definitely. E x_**

 ** _Well, maybe you should take your gorgeous body upstairs and put on a dress. Get your ass here so I can watch you squirm. Zo x_**

 ** _I couldn't. E x_**

 ** _You can, and you should. You know you want to. Zo x_**

 ** _I didn't but now I do… E x_**

 ** _So, I'll be expecting you soon then? Zo x_**

Damn it. Why do I always give in? Why do I always give her exactly what she wants without even realizing that I'm doing it? Because she makes me crazy, that's why. She makes me want to drag my ass from this couch and dress up a little. She makes me want to fuck her against the nearest wall every time her eyes find mine.

 ** _What kinda dress do you want me in? E x_**

 ** _One that gives me exactly what I want. Thighs. That incredible ass. Tight, but not too tight. Zo x_**

 ** _Why not too tight? E x_**

 ** _How am I supposed to do what I want to you beneath the table if you are wearing a tight dress, Eliza? Zo x_**

 ** _Fuck…_**

 ** _The sooner you get here, the sooner that can happen. Zo x_**

 ** _You wouldn't. E x_**

I mean, I wouldn't stop her but would she really do what she is claiming? Would she really tease me and push me over the edge at one of our local bars? I'd like to think that she wouldn't but I suspect she totally would. I suspect she is figuring it all out now as she sits in a bar without me.

 ** _Come find out. Zo x_**

Throwing my cell to the couch, I climb from it and rush off to the staircase. She may be lying, but I'm not prepared to miss out on this if she's not. My fiancé is the hottest woman on the planet and anything she wants or needs from me…she's got it. She's got it and then some. Ugh, she makes me wild with want. Just like she always did. Just like she always will. _Yeah, she's totally got this._ I know the sooner I get to that bar, the sooner she will have me coming for her. I don't even care about the setting, I really don't. Just being with her almost tips me over the edge most days and tonight isn't going to be any different.

 _God, my fiancé is really something else…_

* * *

 ** _Where are you? Zo x_**

Rolling my eyes at how needy Arizona is right now, I cross the street and fix my dress around my thighs a little better. I'm wearing her favorite dress and I know she is going to struggle to even contain herself when I walk through the doors to the bar she has asked me to meet her at. I'm not entirely sure how this is going to work because Jess is spending the evening with my fiancé, but I'm sure we can grab five minutes alone. At least, that's what I'm hoping for. I swear if Arizona is lying to get me here, I'll kill her. With my bare hands. In the middle of the bar.

 ** _Relax, Arizona. I'll be there when I'm there. E x_**

 ** _You're here, aren't you? Zo x_**

 ** _Nope. E x_**

Smiling as I push through the door, my cell is still firmly in my grip and I can see Arizona over at the bar. Ugh, she looks hot. I hate how gorgeous she looks when I'm not on her arm but that is about to change. I'm about to get her attention and I know that no matter who is here, her eyes will be fixed firmly on me. Her hands too.

 ** _Lies. I know when you're in the same room as me. I can feel it. Zo x_**

Watching as she turns to face me and leans back against the bar, her dimples pop and she throws me a wink. Motioning for me to join her, I weave through the crowd and she holds out her hand to me. "Hi, pretty lady."

"Mm, hi." I smile against her mouth as she pulls me into her body and presses her lips to my own. "I missed you tonight."

"I know." Her hand finding my ass, our bodies are flush together and her perfume is all I need to know that she's all mine. Forever. "Why do you think I text you?"

"Where is Jess?" I furrow my brow when I realize Arizona is alone at the bar.

"She's talking with someone." She shrugs. "Well, they were talking when I left them a while ago."

"So, I get you all to myself?" I narrow my eyes and smirk as my fiancé takes her bottom lip between her teeth. "Huh?"

"If that's what you want, yeah."

"Oh, it's _all_ I want." I lean in closer and my lips ghost over her ear. "So, this table you were talking about…"

"Mm, I knew you were here for that reason alone." Gripping my ass a little tighter, my eyes close and she takes my earlobe between her teeth. "Dirty hot, Eliza."

"Um, you're the one who made me feel this way." I pull back and give her a knowing look. "You contacted me."

"Honestly, I didn't think you would show." She says. "But I should've known that you want me just as much as I want you…"

"Oh, you should, huh?" I raise an eyebrow. "You know what I want?"

"What?" My fiancé takes her bottom lip between her teeth.

"I want to dance with you while we have a little time to ourselves." Pulling her away from the bar, she grips my hand tight and we make our way through the crowd. "You look hot tonight." I smile against her mouth as I turn around and pull her into my body. "Very hot."

"Maybe I knew you would be here…"

"Mm…" I tug on her bottom lip. "Maybe you did."

"You wore that dress for me?" She asks as her thigh slips between my own and the beat of the music changes.

"Only for you." Her smile wider than ever, Arizona's eyes are dark and focused on nothing and no one but me. "It's been so long since I came out dancing…"

"So, you have to make up for that." She turns me in her arms and my ass lands in her lap. "We both do." Her fingertips trailing up the side of my thigh, I can feel her heart pounding in her chest. I can feel her entire being igniting with want. "I missed dancing with you…"

"Yeah?" I glance back over my shoulder.

"Nobody makes me feel how you do when you're dancing on me." She smiles against the skin of my neck. "With me." Taking my earlobe between her teeth, she moans low. "All over me. There's just something about how you feel when my hands are on your body."

"Tell me…" I give her a side glance.

"Like I'm alive." Her hand settles on my stomach and my ass grinds against her center. "Like I'll never need the touch of anyone else ever again."

"That's right." Her arm tightens around my waist and I know my ass is giving her exactly what she needs right now. I know, because if she sucks on my neck any harder, she's going to break skin. The crowd around us growing, the entire room is slowly disappearing and yeah…she's totally ready for me. I think she has been since our shower ended this afternoon. "Arizona." My words more of a moan, the palm of her hand travels lower on my stomach and she cups my sex through my dress. My eyes closing, nobody is paying any attention to us right now. _Thank God._ My head thrown back on her shoulder, her tongue runs up my neck until her breath is once again tickling my ear.

"God, I want to fuck you so hard right now." Her fingertips dancing along the skin of my thigh, I tug on my bottom lip and grip her hand. "Tell me what to do, Eliza."

"I can't." I whimper. "You know what you should do…but not here."

"Come with me." I can hear the pleading in her voice. "Please?"

"Lead the way…" Squeezing my thigh once more, my panties are totally ruined. My arousal is more than evident and the more time my fiancé takes, the quicker I'm going to come when she touches me. _God, I need her bad right now._ She is everything I need…we both know that. "Arizona…" Dragging me through the door to the bathroom, she pulls me into an empty stall and the door quickly closes behind us. My palms flat against the stall wall, her front presses against my back and her lips trail my naked shoulder. "Fuck, you smell so good."

"Oh god." Her hand disappearing up the front of my dress, she slips her fingers past the waistband of my panties and presses them against my throbbing clit. "Shit…" My chest heaving and my head spinning, she grips my jaw and breathes against my neck.

"Baby, you're so wet." Smirking against my skin, my eyes close and my mouth falls open. "I need to touch you…"

"I-I…" My words cut off when she applies a little more pressure, a low moan rumbles in her throat and I try to grip onto something, anything. Bent at the hips slightly, Arizona grinds against my ass and runs her fingers through my throbbing sex. "P-Please…" I whimper. "Touch me, Arizona."

"So fucking beautiful." Her teeth grazing my neck, she drops her hand a little lower and pushes two fingers inside of me. "Everything about you is so beautiful." Sinking deeper, I drop my head between my shoulders and Arizona's mouth works the skin of my shoulder.

"Y-Yes." Writhing against my fiancé, my breath catches and my stomach tightens. "Oh, fuck." Pulling my body up against her, Arizona holds me securely and rolls her thumb over my clit. "S-So close." My words barely audible, I lace our fingers together and allow my body to take over. This isn't how I imagined my evening but I'm not complaining. Not at all. Arizona just has that something about her. That something that prevents you from functioning properly until you have her arms wrapped around you. Her lips on your skin. "I-I, shit…I'm coming."

"What I like to hear." She moans into my ear. "Let me feel you, Eliza."

My eyes slamming shut, my knees almost buckle but my fiancé keeps me safely upright. My thighs trembling as she slips out of me and works my clit, a gasp falls from my mouth as I come down from the unexpected high I have just thoroughly enjoyed. "Mm…" It's all I can give her right now. Her gorgeous body is pressed against me in the stall of a bar bathroom. Sometimes you just cannot wait, though. When Arizona tells me she wants me, she gets exactly that…wherever we are. "You're something else…"

"And I'm not done with you." She slips her hand from my panties and sucks her fingers into her mouth. "Mm, so good."

"Take me home, Arizona." I turn in her arms and she pushes me back a little, her lips finding my own. "Take me home and let me love you…"

"Home…" She whispers against my mouth. "My home with you is so fucking beautiful."

"It is." I smile against her mouth, my eyes opening. "Everything with you is beautiful." Fixing my dress on my thighs, Arizona's eyes never leave my own. "Can we leave?"

"You got it." She smirks. "That was only the beginning of our evening."

"Oh." I raise an eyebrow. "It was?"

"Damn right." She opens the door and pulls me out of the stall. "You think that is my best?" She scoffs.

"Oh, I've been treated to your best over and over, Arizona." I slip my hand in her own. "I know that was just the warm-up."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Show Me Heaven**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Two weeks later..._

God, it feels so good to just relax and do nothing. I've been working a lot since Eliza and I broke up but now that we're back together, I don't really want to spend my life working. It was my way of coping. It was my way of dealing with the fact that I was alone and she was in another home. One that didn't include us. Our love. One that didn't include any of the happy times we'd once shared. Now though, now I'm hanging out outback and the sun is hitting my face, a beer in my hand. Sure, I could be working on the car sat on the drive, but I'm taking the day off. I'm relaxing and hell will freeze over before that changes. Sure, Eliza is working inside, but just knowing that she's here is good enough for me. Knowing that I can walk through the door and find her chewing on her pen while she concentrates, yeah…it's the most amazing feeling in the world. It really is.

Things have settled down now and honestly, it feels like I've never been away from this place. Inside I feel different, at ease…but just sitting here now, it feels like it always did. Perfect. Like we are supposed to be together. _Because we are._ We're always supposed to be together. I still don't regret my decision to leave, but I wish Eliza hadn't been so alone during that time we spent apart. I know she too was working her ass off, but she was alone in hotel rooms with that creep Kaden her only company. That in itself is criminal in my opinion, but I couldn't change that. I had to change myself before I came back to her. Or tried, at least. Thankfully, my hard work paid off but the fact of the matter remains…Eliza was alone.

Maybe I should've called. Maybe I should've checked in with her. I know it wasn't the right thing to do but maybe she would've felt less alone if I'd kept in contact. Sure, in the beginning we did, but it ended pretty quickly. The random texts and the short calls ended and I figured it was what she wanted. Deep down, I knew that wasn't true, but I didn't know what else to do. My being in contact with her would've only kept her hanging on and I couldn't be sure that I would even be able to fix myself. I guess I should've had more faith in myself, but when you're at your lowest…rock bottom, it's hard to have faith in anything. Especially yourself. _I'm so good now, though._ It's true. The difference in how I'm feeling is honestly astounding. I never imagined therapy could have that effect and my one regret in life is that I didn't do it sooner. Maybe if I'd gone to therapy when I left Jenny, none of this would've happened. Maybe Eliza and I would be amazing and married right now. I don't know, but I cannot change anything from my past. I came to accept that a while ago now.

 ** _I miss your gorgeous self…_**

Smiling as I send off a message to my fiancé, I know she will be grinning when she reads it. That's just how it is lately. Everything is happy and complete. Everything feels like anything is possible.

 ** _I'm right inside…_**

 ** _I know you are, but I still miss you. Zo x_**

Dropping my aviators back over my eyes, I return to my idea of relaxing and increase the volume in my ears. I've been thinking hard since I came out here early this morning and the more I think, the more I want to make Eliza my wife sooner rather than later. Sure, we may have a way to go in terms of being totally good again, but I'm not sure that's true. I'm not sure of anything other than the fact that I want her to be mine…officially. _I cannot control anything in life, but I can control that._

Smiling to myself when I imagine Eliza looking gorgeous on our wedding day, a shadow suddenly seems to be lurching over me and I open my eyes, my brow furrowed. "Hey…" Hitting stop on my music, I pull the speakers from my ears and give my fiancé my best smile. "I didn't mean for you to come out here."

"Oh." She pouts. "You want me to go back inside?"

"Like hell I do." Tugging her wrist, I pull her closer and she falls into my lap. "Did I tell you how gorgeous you are today?"

"I believe you did." She gives me a soft smile.

"Yeah?" I narrow my eyes. "Well, I'm telling you again." Capturing her lips, she moans into my mouth and her hand fists in my tank. "So gorgeous I'm not sure you're even real."

"Do I feel real?" She asks as my hand ghosts up and down her thigh.

"Oh, you feel _so_ real." I breathe out as her head rests on my shoulder. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah." She sighs. "Just wanna be in your arms all the time."

"Well, that's fine by me." I shrug as my arms wrap around her waist and I tighten my grip. Holding her securely against me, she somehow manages to almost curl up in the fetal position. "You seem tired."

"I am." She yawns. "I don't feel so good."

"No?" I sit up a little and she lifts her head. "Not good, how?"

"I don't know." She blinks slowly, tiredness evident in her entire being. "Like I could use a week-long sleep."

"Come on…" I press a kiss below her ear. "I'm taking you inside."

"No, I'm okay." She counters. "You were enjoying yourself out here before I disturbed you."

"And I can enjoy myself inside…with you." Standing, Eliza slumps her shoulders a little and I watch her move inside our home. "Hey, you sure you're okay?"

"I just feel drained." She mumbles as I follow her inside and move into the living room. Dropping down onto the couch, her notepads are scattered all over the coffee table, a blanket draped over the back of the couch. "Maybe I'll take a nap?"

"Yeah, sounds like a plan to me." I drop to my knees in front of her. "I'm just going to hang out here with you until you're sleeping, okay?"

"You don't have to do that." She gives me a sad smile. "You do your thing, I'll be okay."

"Yeah, that isn't happening." I shake my head. "You know, I think I'll cook dinner tonight…" Running my fingers through her hair, Eliza's eyes are struggling to stay open. "Just…a nice relaxed evening, yeah?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." Her eyes flutter closed. "Just…five minute nap, okay?"

"Sure." I smile. I've no intentions of waking my fiancé any time soon. She's been overworking herself lately and I think it's finally beginning to show. I think it's finally hitting her and I don't want her to burn herself out. She doesn't need to. She's amazing and she should be relaxing while she has no immediate work on. "I'll wake you in five." I lie as I press a kiss to her jawline.

 _Maybe I'll just watch her for a while…_

* * *

"Hey, mom." Settled at the kitchen island, I glance over my shoulder and find Eliza beginning to stir.

"How is everything, honey?"

"Great, mom." I smile. "Really great…"

"Oh?" She says in a questioning tone. "Do you have some things you wanted to tell me, or are we going to play the guessing game all evening, Arizona?"

"Well, I'm home." I clear my throat. "With Eliza."

"I don't understand." She says, a hint of uncertainty in her voice. "You mean, you are back together?"

"Yes, mom." I roll my eyes. "We're working things out. Just…I'm home. I'm back where I should be."

"I'm glad you figured that out." She breathes what I assume to be a sigh of relief. "I hated you two being apart."

"Me too, mom." I agree. "The uh, the wedding is back on, too."

"Oh, honey." She perks up. "I'm so happy to hear that."

"And soon, hopefully…"

"Why only hopefully?" She asks.

"Well, we haven't really discussed it much but I was hoping to speak to Eliza tonight over dinner." _If she is feeling up to it._ "Everything is okay though, mom."

"I don't doubt that, sweetheart."

"I'm doing good." I smile. "So good."

"I know you are…you're Arizona Robbins and that's just who you are."

"Thanks, mom." I know she's got my back, but I shouldn't have to worry about that. I don't ever want to have to rely on anyone else ever again. Mom has always been there for me, but it's time to do my own thing. I've taken my life back and now…it's time to start living it. "You'll come visit soon?"

"You know it."

"Okay, well dinner's almost ready so I should get going." Feeling soft arms wrap around my waist, a smile settles on my face and I know my fiancé is awake. "Bye, mom."

"Goodbye, honey. I love you."

"I love you, too." Ending our call, I turn on my stool and wrap Eliza up in a strong embrace. "And I love you an infinite amount." My lips press against her own. "You doing okay?"

"Better, yeah." She smiles against my mouth. "Dinner smells good."

"Just lasagne." I shrug. "Figured a little comfort food was what you needed right now."

"You're amazing." She buries her head in the crook of my neck. "And I love you."

"Question…" I pull her in a little closer. "Why are you working yourself so hard?"

"Am I?" She plays stupid but I see right through it.

"Yeah, you are." I give her a knowing look. "What's going on?"

"Just…making sure I'm prepared if an artist calls…"

"You're always prepared," I state. "They all love your lyrics."

"Mm, all except one." Her sudden change in mood tells me that she wasn't supposed to say that out loud. "So, dinner?"

"Yeah, dinner." I decide to leave the conversation for a few minutes. "Take a seat and I'll be right over with it." I squeeze her ass before releasing Eliza from my grip. "You want a glass of red?"

"That would be nice." Eliza gives me a nod as she makes herself comfortable at the dining table. "So, you working tomorrow?"

"Well, I was thinking of maybe spending the day with you?" Throwing the suggestion her way, she doesn't seem overly impressed with the idea. "Or, I could just work as planned…"

"Sorry." She gives me a sad smile as I approach with dinner. Setting it down, I head back for our wine and return to the table, taking a seat facing my fiancé. "I'd love to spend the day with you…"

"Okay, you're sure?" I ask. "You don't seem like you really want to."

"I do." She reaches her hand across the table and takes my own. "I'm sorry, I just…something isn't right."

"Why?"

"I haven't had a call since I dropped Kaden." She shrugs. I know she's trying to be nonchalant about it but I know she's worrying. I know it's on her mind and that is why she's working herself stupid. "Maybe it's nothing, but I don't know."

"Do you think it's nothing?" I ask. "Do you think it's just a coincidence?"

"I don't know." She drops her gaze. "I know what she is capable of. I've known people who didn't make a living once they'd been involved with Kaden."

"I-Involved?" I swallow hard.

"Musically, Arizona." She squeezes my hand. "I'm not stupid. I know what she does. I know how much say she has over things in the industry."

"This is bullshit." I drop my fork. "I won't sit here and wait for her to ruin your career, Eliza. I'll fucking kill her, though…"

"Arizona." She gives me a reassuring smile. "It's okay. Maybe we should just see how this plays out…"

"Oh, I don't think so." I sit back in my seat. "What do I have to do?"

"Nothing." She shakes her head. "If this is it…then so be it."

"Hey…" I furrow my brow and remove myself from my seat. Closing the distance between us, I drop to my knees and settle my hand on the side of her face. "This isn't it," I promise her. "You are incredible at what you do and I know that this isn't over for you."

Leaning into my touch, her eyes close and a small smile curls on her mouth. "I want to take tomorrow with you." I know she is just trying to avoid this conversation but we will get back to it at some point. Tonight I want her to relax. I want her to just be and give herself five minutes to breathe. I hate seeing her worked up, but it's just who she is. It's who she is and I love her passion for what she does. Sometimes, we have to take a step back and concentrate on ourselves, though.

"Where do you wanna go?" I ask, her eyes opening. "Maybe we should just get in the car and drive?"

"Yes." She nods. "Yes, we will do that."

"I need you to relax, okay?" My eyes are pleading with her. "I know it's important to you, but it's not healthy to stress yourself."

"I promise." Eliza agrees. "Tonight we just relax and do nothing, yeah?"

"Wouldn't wanna do nothing with anybody but you, beautiful." Leaning in, I press my lips to her own and she smiles against my mouth. "You've got this, I know you have."

"Thank you." Her voice breaks. "Thank you for coming back as the incredible woman that you are…"

"It was always there inside of me." My thumb brushes her bottom lip. "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have ever wanted to get it back."

"I'm sure that's not true." She blushes.

"And I'm sure that it is," I say with certainty.

"Can I show you something tonight?" She asks, a little hesitation in her voice. "I mean, it's something from way back when we first met."

"Yeah." My smile widens. "I'd like that."

"It was something I wrote…" She clears her throat. "I mean, I was having a bad time at one point and it just came out. I just wrote it down and I found it recently."

"Yeah, I want to see it." I nod. "I guess the first time around was hard for you. I may have been the one who had the demons, but you lived through that with me. You had to put up with my moods and my emotions."

"You know I'd do it again in a heartbeat for you." She gives me a sad smile. "But I won't have to because you are amazing, Arizona. You really are."

"Again…all because of you." I take her hand and press a kiss to her knuckles. "I wanted to discuss something but it can wait until tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"I am." I climb to my feet. "Maybe we could do it all tomorrow? What you want to show me and what I want to talk about?"

"Yeah." Eliza squeezes my hand as I return to my seat. "Tonight is about doing nothing, right?"

"Right." I agree. "Now, we share dinner and then we share the tub."

"Perfect." She relaxes a little more than she was before. "My life is perfect no matter what happens."

"I love you…" I watch her as she sips on her wine.

"I love you, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Show Me Heaven**

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Today is going to be a good day. I can just feel it. I can feel that overwhelming love Arizona has for me and sitting beside her in the passenger seat, I feel calm. I feel good. She said she has something she wants to discuss but I don't know what it could possibly be. I mean, everything is going okay for us right now so I was a little unsettled when she first brought up wanting a discussion, but she's given me nothing to suggest that she is worried about anything. _I'm not sure she will ever worry again._ The change in my fiancé is remarkable and I want nothing more than for it to continue. I don't know if she sees or feels the difference in her mood but I certainly do. I see it. I feel it. I freaking love it.

"We're headed to the lake, okay?"

"We are?" I furrow my brow as I turn in my seat slightly. "Why?"

"Because why not?" She shrugs. "I fixed us up a picnic, too."

"Okay, that's adorable." I give her my best smile. "You had this planned, huh?"

"Kinda." She smirks. "Just wanted some alone time with you away from home, is all."

"Fine by me." Her hand settling over my own and resting on my thigh, I relax back in my seat and a comfortable silence falls between us. I don't know what our plan is for the day, but I'm just going with it. If I get to hang out by a lake with my fiancé, that is fine by me. I mean, we all want that adorable 'can't live without you' kinda love and I have it. I have it so I have to make full use of it. If I'm able to grab a day off with Arizona like I am right now, I'm going to love and enjoy every minute of it. "You said you wanted to talk to me about something…"

"Yeah…"

"Is that still a thing, or?" I glance her way and a smile is curled on her mouth.

"You have like zero patience, Eliza." Arizona rolls her eyes playfully. "But yes, I do still want to talk to you about something."

"Are you leaving me?" The words fall from my mouth unexpectedly and Arizona suddenly pulls off the road. "A-Are you?"

"Like hell I am." She gives me an incredulous look. "Why would you ever think that?"

"Because you're all awesome and brilliant now and I'm just…well, me." I shrug. "I'm hardly exciting to be around."

"Hey…" She takes my hand in her own. "Don't ever talk about my fiancé like that again."

"Arizona…"

"No, I don't wanna hear it, Eliza." She holds up her hand. "We are spending a beautiful day together and I can promise you right now…it will not end with me breaking up with you."

"You promise?"

"No, I don't promise." She shakes her head. "Because I don't need to promise you anything, Eliza. I love you and I just want you to myself for the day…"

"I'm sorry." I squeeze her hand tight before bringing it up to my lips and pressing a kiss to her skin. "I'm just a little on edge right now. I don't know what is wrong with me."

"I love you, okay?"

"I love you, too." I give my fiancé a sad smile. "Sorry…"

"Don't apologize." She sighs as she relaxes back in her seat. "I shouldn't expect you to just assume everything is fine."

"No, you should." I study her face. "Because everything is fine, right?" I raise an eyebrow. "Everything is so good between us and I guess I'm just waiting for it to all end."

"Thank you for being honest." Arizona leans in a little closer and her hand settles on my face. "I've come back into your life expecting everything to just be normal, but I guess it's not." She sighs. "I mean, I left you. Disappeared. Then I came back and felt great."

"It is kinda weird," I admit. "I thought you never wanted to see me again, but here we are…suddenly sharing a home again and engaged and just in love."

"Are you happy that I'm back in your life, though?" She asks, her gaze shifting ever so slightly. "You can be honest with me, Eliza. I won't be hurt or offended."

"I'm more than happy to have you back in my life, Arizona." My thumb brushes her bottom lip. "All I wanted was to have you back in my life."

"Then we are going to be just fine."

"Can you at least give me an idea of what you want to talk about?" I give her a pleading look. "Just to put my mind at ease a little…"

"Just our wedding." She gives me a full dimpled smile. "Just the most amazing day of our lives…"

"Okay." I breathe out. "I can work with that." Relaxing back in my seat, Arizona turns her attention back to the road ahead of us and pulls away. I already know what she wants for our wedding. Not big. Not fancy. She wants it to be small and intimate. _I know all of this._ So, that leaves me with the question…why does she want to discuss it? After being without her for so long, I'm perfectly fine with whatever she wants. Hell, if she wanted to marry me with nobody there I would still jump at the opportunity. I thought she knew that. "Whatever you want, Arizona."

"Whatever _we_ want." Her hand settles on my thigh and she hits speed along the free, empty road. "Whatever we want."

* * *

Settled on a blanket beneath a huge oak tree, I'm completely relaxed and feeling really good. Arizona has her hand in my own and like usual, it fits so perfectly. They just mold together like we were both created for one another. I don't know if that's a common occurrence, but I don't feel like it is. I feel like it's reserved only for us. Dramatic, I know…but how I feel nonetheless. We've just shared some great food that Arizona prepared for us and now I feel like I need to nap. She is beside me and crunching on some chips, but right now…I just want to relax. I just want to take in the clear blue sky above us and think about nothing other than the fact that we're here together. I know we need to talk, but I'm good for the time being.

Turning on my side, I study my fiancé's face and she glances my way, giving me a full smile. "You doing okay after your meltdown?" She asks.

"Yeah." I roll my eyes. "I'm sorry about that."

"Don't even worry about it." She waves off my apology, shoving a handful of chips into her mouth. "No big deal…"

"You really are doing amazing, huh?"

"I feel like I am." Arizona shrugs, her eyes focused on the lake in front of us. "I feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be…forever."

"That's good." I breathe out. "You wanted to talk…"

"I did." She drops her bag of chips and settles on her back, her head turning to face me. "I wanna start planning."

"Our wedding?" I'm just checking we're on the same page right now. "You're talking about our wedding, right?"

"Yes, our wedding." My hand settling on her stomach, she places her hand on it and gives me a dimpled smile. "I mean, why wait?"

"No, I agree…but are you sure it's what you want?" I ask. "I mean, I know things are good but you don't want to wait a while?"

"I'm tired of waiting." She sighs. "I'm tired of waiting and wondering when will be the right time for us."

"Okay…"

"Y-You don't want to, do you?" She sits up on her elbows. "Fuck, I'm so sorry."

"W-Wha-"

"I mean, I just told you to put the ring back on." Arizona laughs. "I just assumed it was what you still wanted."

"Arizona…"

"No." She sits up and holds up her hands. "I'm so sorry for just expecting you to be ready for this." Studying her profile, Arizona genuinely believes I don't want this with her. "We can just forget it ever happened if you want?" Giving me a shrug of her shoulders, her eyes find mine and she gives me a small smile. "So long as I've got you, I don't care what we do."

"I want to be your wife." I sit up and turn to face her better. "I'll _always_ want to be your wife."

"But?" She raises her eyebrow, that confidence still evident in her posture.

"But nothing." I shrug. "I was simply asking if you were sure."

"O-Oh." She rolls her eyes. "My bad."

"I love it when you get all flustered." I lean in, nudging her shoulder. "It's adorable."

"I wasn't flustered." She squares her shoulders and clears her throat. "Just…whatever you want, okay?"

"I want you." I give her a knowing look. "Anything else that comes with it is a bonus."

"I, uh…I've been saving." She switches her gaze back to the lake in front of us. "For our wedding…"

"Since when?" I furrow my brow.

"Since I left." She admits. "I guess it was just wishful thinking at one time…but as the therapy got a little more intense and I could feel the changes inside of me, I knew I'd made the right decision to put some money aside."

"You've been saving for us?" I give her a sad smile. "Do you have any idea how much that means to me?"

"No, but I knew I had to do something to keep this going…"

"God, I wish I'd known about all of this as it was happening." I breathe out. "Even if only as your friend."

"I couldn't be your friend, Eliza." My fiancé takes my hand in her own. "As much as I wanted that, I had to not be around you. I know it sounds awful and bitchy of me, but it wasn't like that."

"No, I know." I give her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm just happy you're here. Back with me."

"Me too." She leans in and presses a kiss to my lips. "I want our wedding to be perfect, Eliza. I want the flowers and the cake and the dresses. I want it all and I want you to be happy…"

"Y-You do?" I pull back a little, my forehead resting against my fiancé's. "You really mean that?" My thumb brushes her bottom lip.

"I mean it." Her eyes close and a smile curls on her mouth. "I want the venue and everything that comes with it. If that's still what you want…"

"It is," I whisper against her lips. "God, I love you…"

"I love you, too." Quickly straddling Arizona's legs, I push her body down onto the blanket and her blue eyes glisten as she studies my face. "I'm gonna need you to touch me…" She takes her bottom lip between her teeth, her hands settling on my thighs covered only by very short denim shorts.

"Yeah, I think I need to do exactly that." I lean down and brace myself on my forearms. "Thank you for coming home to me…" My tongue trails her bottom lip. "Thank you for being so amazing…"

"Eliza…" Her breath catches as my hand trails up and under her tee. That strong stomach tensing, her hips lift from the floor and I shift, forcing one leg between her thigh. "Oh god." Moaning as I push it against her center, she kisses me hard and grips the back of my neck. "I love not having control…"

"Yeah?" I smirk against her mouth.

"Mm…" She closes her eyes. "It means I get all of you whenever I want."

"You know what else it means?" I narrow my eyes. "It means I can take you whenever I like…"

"Now that…I can work with." My hand slipping past the waistband of her jeans, I cup her sex through her boy shorts and she moans into my mouth. "You a little wet, huh?"

"A-Always…" Her back arches. "Every fucking time I'm near you…"

"What I like to hear." My fingertips graze her center. "You wanna be fucked here, Arizona?"

"Y-Yes." Her chest heaves in anticipation. "Here and everywhere…" My hand disappearing, I sit back on my knees and loosen her belt. Popping the button and lowering the zipper, my eyes find hers and I can see just how much she wants me. Just how much she needs me.

"I'm going to spend the rest of my life making you feel good…" Leaning over my fiancé's body, our lips connect once more and my hand slips past the waistband of Arizona's boy shorts. "Touching you…" My fingers connect with complete arousal. "Kissing you…" I smile against her mouth. "Fucking you better than anyone else ever could…"

"F-Fuck." All breath leaving her body as I sink two fingers inside of her, Arizona grips my back and releases a low guttural moan. "Uh, fuck yes." Lifting her hips as I sink deeper, she takes her bottom lip between her teeth and buries her head further into the blanket beneath us.

"You're so wet for me…" My lips trailing her neck, I can feel her smiling. That is all I need to know that this is exactly what Arizona wants. What she will _always_ want. Her walls squeezing my fingers, I know she is close. She's close and I want her to feel good. I want her to come for me. "What do you need?" I whisper against her ear.

"M-More." She breathes out, her eyes closing. "Fuck, I need more." Adding a third finger, my thrusts increase in strength and pace and my thumb settles over her throbbing clit. "Mm, yes." Braced on my left forearm, I could watch Arizona reach her intense high forever. I could watch her and never tire of it. Rolling my thumb over her clit, she takes her bottom lip between her teeth and her breathing becomes a little erratic. "Eliza, I-I…"

"Come for me, beautiful." My lips press against her ear.

"Oh god." Gripping my back that little bit tighter, if I was naked, she'd have broken my skin. "F-Fuck, I'm coming."

"I love you…" My words mixing with my fiancé's orgasm, I can barely move inside of her. Shuddering beneath me, her back lifts from the blanket and her left hand fists in it. Her hips rocking and her cries of pleasure more than evident, I slow my pace a little and she continues to throb around me.

"Oh god." The palm of her hand settling on her forehead, Arizona tries to breathe through the sensations I'm creating. "You're amazing." She pulls me down on top of her and her lips find my own. "Everything about you…"

"I want to be your wife, okay?" Our noses brush. "I'll always want that…"

"Okay." Her thumb ghosts over my bottom lip. "You look so beautiful today…"

"Thank you." I give her a genuine smile. "It's hard not to feel beautiful when I have someone like you in my life."

"We've got this, Eliza." She smiles into another kiss. "I've never felt so in love in my entire life and that is all because of you…"

"Gorgeous." I rest my forehead against her own. "You have the most gorgeous soul…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Show Me Heaven**

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

This day has been awesome. Really awesome. I know we had a minor blip before when we both got a little worried about the wedding, and the fact that Eliza foolishly thought I'd brought her here to break up with her, but then we made everything right between us. We reassured one another with some incredible sex, and now I don't ever want to leave the lake. Its like our own personal space. Nobody around for miles and nothing but the sound of the water to keep us company. Kinda perfect, really. I don't know why Eliza was so worried earlier when I had to pull the car off the road. I mean, have I given her something to suggest that I was breaking up with her? Have I not been a good enough girlfriend and eventually fiancé since I returned? I thought I had and I thought things were good between us, but my fiancé seems to think differently and it doesn't sit well with me at all. I mean, I want her to be happy. I want her to honest and open, but more than anything…I need us to be okay.

I get that she is still processing the fact that I'm even back, but I am. I'm here and I'm never leaving her again. I've figured my own shit out and now I'm here to be the perfect life partner for her. It was never about her when I walked away. Sure, it may have seemed that way at first, but I knew deep down that I had to leave to better myself. It wasn't fair to her for me to behave the way I was. Yes, she hurt me, but I reacted as though it was Jenny standing in front of me that night in the hotel. I reacted like she had just beaten me to within an inch of my life. She hadn't and it hadn't been intentional. I know that now. I knew that once I'd gotten my head together and worked through my issues.

I know I should've gone to therapy a long time ago, but it took someone like Eliza coming into my life to realize just how messed up I was inside. It took her love and her support for me to realize that I needed to seek help. I needed to work out my crap. To do that, I had to do it alone. I had to completely detach myself from her and our life together and even though I hated what I was doing, I'll always believe it was the right thing for us. Yes, my fiancé is struggling with it all, but I've got her. I'll always have her back. She knows that, too.

Bringing my knees up to my chest, I'm sitting by the edge of the lake and Eliza is beneath the oak tree we've called home for the day. She's scribbling stuff down in her book that holds the words she writes so beautifully and I kinda wanna bring up the conversation we had yesterday. She told me she had something she wanted to show me. Lyrics, I believe. She hasn't mentioned it since though, and I'm wondering if she no longer wants to share them with me. That would be okay, I guess. I just kinda enjoy reading what's going on in her head and her heart. Regardless of when it was written. _She said it was from when we'd just met._

Clearing my throat and glancing back at my fiancé, I find her watching me and a small smile curls on my mouth. "Hey, could you come sit with me for a moment?"

"Sure." She furrows her brow as she climbs to her feet and brushes herself off. "What's up?"

"Just missing you…" She drops down beside me and I take her hand in my own. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She breathes out.

"You know you can talk to me, Eliza." I give her a knowing look.

"About what?" She focuses on the lake in front of us.

"All of this." I shrug. "The sudden changes to our life...once again."

"No, you don't need any negativity in your life, Arizona." She squeezes my hand. "I'm okay with my own thoughts."

"I'm worried about you." The words fall from my mouth but I don't regret them. "I'm sorry, but I am."

"Why would you be worried about me?" She studies my face.

"Because it's my job to worry about you, baby." I give her a sad smile. "You spent so much time looking after me the first time around and I need you to know that I can be the same person you were for me."

"I know you are." She nods slowly.

"So, tell me how you're feeling." I nudge her shoulder. "Please?"

"Scared." She breathes out. "Terrified that I'm going to lose you again someday."

"That isn't ever going to happen." I brush a few stray hairs from her face. "Our life is good. At least, I think it is."

"No, it is." She agrees. "I just worry that you fell in love with the supportive me and not the complete me."

"How do you mean?" I furrow my brow.

"From day one…I tried to be what you needed." She sighs. "From the moment I met you and knew that I wanted you, I could see how hurt you were. I could see how much you were struggling."

"Yeah, I was in a bad way." I give her a small smile.

"And so I knew that in order to get close to you, I would have to tell you what you needed to hear. I would have to be what you needed." She shrugs. "Yes, that was the real me, but now that you're better. Now that you're amazing…I don't know what you are expecting from me. I don't know if you will see the boring side that I am when I'm not trying extra hard to make you happy and you will realize that I'm not the one for you."

"You are the one for me." I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her into my body. "That side of you was what I needed at the time. The supportive caring you. That person is still there should I ever need her, but I just want you to be happy and not worry about me."

"I don't worry about you." She breathes out. "I haven't worried about you since the first time I saw you again. I knew I didn't need to…"

"I love every aspect of you, Eliza." I turn to face her fully. I need her to really hear me. I need her to know that I'm good and that _we_ are good. Better than ever. "I love every fiber of your being and no matter what side of you I wake beside each morning, I will never stop loving you."

"Can you be sure that I'll always be enough for you, though?" Her voice breaking, I hate seeing her like this. She is a mirror image of who I used to be. _Did I make her this way? Did my actions cause this drop in her confidence? Her mood?_ "Can you be sure that nobody else will come along and sweep you off your feet?"

"I can, yes," I say with complete certainty. "Whether I was in a bad place or not when we met…I fell in love with you regardless. I fell in love with your smile and your laugh. Your hands and your soft skin. I fell in love with your personality and how safe I felt with you." I smile. "You know, that night not long after we'd met…we just lay on the couch and you held me?"

"Y-Yeah…"

"That was the moment when I fell in love with you." I trail my thumb over her knuckles. "That was the moment when I knew you would be around for a long long time."

"That was like a week after we met…"

"And what does that tell you?" I raise an eyebrow. "That I fell in love with you long before the supportive side kicked in. Long before you told me what I needed to hear most nights."

"You really fell in love with me so soon?"

"I did." I nod. "And I've never looked back." Leaning in, I press a soft kiss to her lips and pull back. "I understand that this is all crazy and unexpected for you, but I was always coming back, Eliza."

"I thought I'd lost you forever." She admits. "I thought that night in the hotel room was truly the end of us."

"It was," I reply. "It was the end of that side of us." I breathe out. "I didn't want to have to rely on you to always be there reassuring me. Telling me I was worth it. That I deserved you and the love we had. I didn't want to spend forever with you that way."

"Me neither." She gives me a small smile, my thumb trailing her cheek.

"I wanted to feel like this. This version of me right now is who I was a long time ago. Long before I met Jenny and long before our marriage turned to shit. Well, before my life turned to shit...because it did. It turned to shit and I didn't know how to fix any of it. I didn't know how to be the person I wanted to be with you…"

"I never _ever_ meant to hurt you, Arizona…" Her voice breaks and I pull her in close. "Never."

"I know you didn't." My palm runs up and down her back. "But I'm glad you did…" She pulls back and gives me a look of confusion. "You know I never wanted to leave you, Eliza."

"I thought you hated me." She cries. "I thought you could never look at me again."

"I hated myself." I give her a sad smile. "I hated myself for allowing things to get so bad. You didn't deserve the things I said to you after that night in the hotel. You didn't deserve the way I reacted. You grabbed me…that's all."

"It doesn't matter…" She shakes her head. "I still hurt you."

"But look at what it achieved?" I give her a full dimpled smile. "Look at me now…"

"Honestly, I can't _stop_ looking at you." Her smile mirrors my own and I feel like we are beginning to get somewhere with all of this. "You look so good, Arizona."

"I feel it," I admit. "I feel so good and I'm so ready for all of this with you. I mean, the wedding and whatever else comes after it."

"I still don't understand why you want the big wedding." She furrows her brow.

"Why?" I raise an eyebrow. "Because its what we deserved all along." I smile. "My past marriage shouldn't affect this one. Just like you didn't allow yours to affect us."

"Please, can we not talk about that bastard." She holds up her hand. "I don't want the thought of him to ruin this moment with you…"

"What I'm saying is…I want us to be happy. Unbelievably happy. So happy that we can barely contain our excitement."

"Me too." She nods. "It's the only thing I've ever wanted for us, Arizona."

"I know." My hand cups her face and she leans into my touch. "And now it's time to really have that. It's time to just begin again. The past…it's gone."

"Yeah?"

"Well, most of it, yeah," I smirk. "We had _a lot_ of good times." My mind taking me back to the endless nights of lovemaking with Eliza, I don't quite want to forget everything we've shared before. "And _a lot_ of hot times."

"Mm…" She narrows her eyes. "I kinda miss those nights."

"Maybe I'll just have to surprise you sometime." I throw her a wink. "I didn't let that side of me go…I promise."

"Thank god." She breathes out. "I loved that side of you."

"Yeah?" I pull her up to her feet and her eyes darken. "How about you show me what you wanted me to see and then I take you home for a little fun?"

"R-Really?" She stutters before swallowing hard. "Y-You mean…"

"Is that what you want?" I lean in close, my lips pressing against her ear. "Tied up and taken from behind?"

"Shit…" I can feel her heart pounding and that gives me all the answers I need. "God, yes."

"Then I'll make it happen." My tongue trails the shell of her ear. "The. Full. Works."

"Y-Yeah, uh…" Clearing her throat, she pulls me towards the blanket that her book is resting on. "We should probably hurry up."

"No rush." My arms wrap around her waist from behind as she picks up her book. "I have all the time in the world to play with you…tease you. I have _all night long_ actually."

"S-Stop now." She breathes out, her head falling back on my shoulders as I sway us. "I can't concentrate."

"I know." I release a low throaty moan. "And I'll bet you're wet just thinking about it, huh? I mean, it's been a while…"

"T-Too long." Opening her book on a particular page, she turns in my arms and hands it over to me. "Teasing aside, this is what I found. I guess it was just my way of trying to figure you out. You know…what you were about. I just wanted to know you…the real you."

"And you do now." I smile, pressing a kiss to her nose. Dropping down onto the blanket, I cross my legs under my body and focus on her gorgeous handwriting.

 ** _Blank stares, faithless  
Vampires at the same places  
Shadows, traces  
I know that you feel me_**

 _ **You're runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin'**_  
 _ **Making the rounds with all your fake friends**_  
 _ **Runnin', runnin' away from it**_  
 _ **You can strip down without showing skin, yeah**_

 _ **I can see you're scared of your emotions**_  
 _ **I can see you're hoping you're not hopeless**_  
 _ **So why can't you show me? Why can't you show me?**_  
 _ **I can see you're looking for distractions**_  
 _ **I can see you're tired of the acting**_  
 _ **So why can't you show me?**_  
 _ **Who are you in the dark?**_  
 _ **Show me the scary parts**_  
 _ **Who are you when it's 3 AM and you're all alone**_  
 _ **And this place doesn't feel like home?**_  
 _ **Who are you in the dark?**_

 _ **Plus one, guest list**_  
 _ **But you don't even know what her name is**_  
 _ **Secrets, endless**_  
 _ **I know that you feel me**_

 _ **You're runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin'**_  
 _ **Making the rounds with all your fake friends**_  
 _ **Runnin', runnin' away from it**_  
 _ **You can strip down without showing skin**_

 ** _I, I can see you're scared of your emotions_**  
 ** _I can see you're hoping you're not hopeless_**  
 ** _So why can't you show me? Why can't you show me?_**  
 ** _I can see you're looking for distractions_**  
 ** _I can see you're tired of the acting_**  
 ** _So why can't you show me?_**  
 ** _Who are you in the dark?_**  
 ** _Show me the scary parts_**  
 ** _Who are you when it's 3 AM and you're all alone_**  
 ** _And this place doesn't feel like home?_**  
 ** _Who are you in the dark?_**

 ** _Darling, come on and let me in_**  
 ** _Darling, all of the strangers are gone, they're gone_**  
 ** _I said, darling, come on and let me see_**  
 ** _Darling, I promise that I won't run_**

 ** _So tell me_**  
 ** _Who are you in the dark?_**  
 ** _Show me the scary parts_**  
 ** _Who are you when it's 3 AM_**  
 ** _And you're all alone_**  
 ** _And this place doesn't feel like home?_**  
 ** _No, I, I, I_**  
 ** _Who are you in the dark?_**

"Wow…" I breathe out. "I swear you knew me better than I knew myself…"

"No, I just _wanted_ to know you." She smiles, her arm wrapping around my lower back. "I just wanted you to let me in and thank god you did."

"Best decision I ever made…" I brush a stray tear from my jawline. "Best decision of my life…"

"No crying." She gives me a knowing look and takes the book from my hands. "Now, if I'm not mistaken…you have something planned for this evening, no?"

"Oh, you're not mistaken." I scramble to my feet and pull my fiancé up. My lips pressing against her own, my hand slips to her ass and I pull her in close. "I'm going to fuck you _so hard_ , Eliza…" My breath washes over her lips, her body trembling in anticipation. "And you know what you have to do, right?"

"T-Take it." She stutters, her eyes closing as she takes her bottom lip between her teeth. "Take everything you have to give me."

"Mmhmm…" I slip my thigh between her legs and grin. "Good girl."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Song was 'In The Dark' by Camila Cabello.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Show Me Heaven**

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _God, I've missed this._ I've missed this side of Arizona and the moment my body realised it was actually happening, it responded. It responded so much that I'm barely holding on and she hasn't even touched me yet. Her fingertips have grazed my wrists as she tied me up exactly how she likes it, and her full clothed body is now watching me from the other side of the bedroom. Her hair pulled up into a messy bun, her blue flannel shirt is hanging open, her black lace bra causing me to salivate. Every breath she takes, her stomach contracts. Every movement she makes, it makes me that little bit more crazy. I'm tied to our bed and totally naked, and she is just watching me. She's watching me and those blue eyes are trailing my body like never before. I know exactly what to expect, but those butterflies are still present. That uncertainty as to when she is going to touch me is stronger than ever. Why? Because I need her to do something. I need her to touch me, or at least let me touch her. I know that isn't how it goes, though. I know that this is all totally on her terms and I have to lie here and wait it out. I have to wait it out and then take whatever she gives me. _Fuck, I'm not going to last a second._

Moving around the bed, she takes her bottom lip between her teeth and smirks. She knows exactly what she's doing to me. She knows that I'm soaked and it is all her doing. Nobody has ever turned me on like Arizona does, and she ruined me for anyone else a long time ago. I've never even looked at another woman. Why? Because I know that no matter who I cross paths with one day, they could never in a million years satisfy me how my fiancé does. She just knows what I need. She knows exactly where to touch me. How to touch me. When to touch me. She knows when I'm close and when I want her to tease. She just knows _me._ She knows me and honestly, when she is like this…it's something else. It's mind-blowing.

"You're wet." She states, her tone void of anything.

"Y-Yes." I squeeze my thighs together.

"Open your legs!" Her voice demanding, I do as she asks and my eyes close as she nears the edge of the bed. "Soaked…"

"F-For you." I moan, her eyes burning through my body.

"I didn't ask who it was for…" She gives me a half smile and moves towards the dresser. Opening the top drawer, she removes what looks like a vibrator and turns to face me, smirking. "Maybe you need a little something…"

"I-I do." I nod vigorously. "Yes…"

The bed dipping between my legs, my fiancé hasn't taken one item of clothing from her gorgeous body but I don't care. This has been going on for over an hour and I know it's all a part of her plan. Hell, she still has her heavy boots on. Smiling as she sits back on her knees, her eyes are black and I know she's totally in this. She's completely playing the game and I fucking love it. I haven't even had time to think about our conversations at the lake but I don't care right now. My fiancé is giving me exactly what I've asked for and yeah…everything else has taken a back seat for the time being. _I'm not sure I'll ever worry again. Fuck!_

"You know…" Her eyes trail my stomach, between my breast and land on my face. "I've never fucked anyone quite like you, Eliza…"

"N-No?" Her thumb presses against my throbbing clit and a gasp falls from my mouth.

"No, baby." Applying a little more pressure, my back arches and I tug at the restraint around my wrist. "You need to come?" She raises her eyebrow and I nod. "Already?"

"Y-Yeah." Suddenly pushing two fingers inside of me, my breath hitches and she moans.

"Mm, you're so fucking ready for me." She smirks. "Tight and fucking beautiful…"

"Oh god." Her fingers pushing deeper, she slowly slips out of me and takes her fingers between her lips. "Shit!"

"Just as I remember…" She moans as she releases her fingers with a pop. "Desperate." Pressing the vibrator in her hand against my clit, she props it up between my legs and sets it to a low pulse. "This should give you a little relief."

"Fuck, Arizona." My eyes widening as she climbs from the bed, she stands back, her arms folded across her chest. "I-I can't." I shake my head, my eyes closing. "I need you…"

"And you will have me." She tilts her head, a smile curling on her lips. "Providing you do as I say…"

"Oh fuck." Trying to force myself against the vibrator, I gain a little more pressure and she raises her eyebrow. "S-Shit, I-I." The vibrator suddenly stopping, she holds a controller up in front of her and laughs.

"You really think I'm going to let you come soon?" She tuts. "No way…"

"Oh fuck." My chest heaving and my sex throbbing, I can feel the slickness dripping from me. I can actually feel it pooling on our bed.

"Again?" She asks.

"N-No," I beg. "Please, no…" I can't take much more of this. I want to do as she asks but if she turns this vibrator back on, I won't be able to. _She knows that, too._

"Wrong answer." She smirks, her thumb pressing the button and starting up the vibrator again. "I want to see you squirm."

"Shit...fuck!" My mouth falling open, she sets the pulsation a little higher and my hand's fist above my head. "Oh god, Arizona…" My thighs trembling, I'm about to come and it's going to be so fucking hard. Once again stopping, I'm close to tears right now. I need this. I need to release. Fuck, I need it so bad.

"Don't you dare come!" She moves closer to me and stops the pulsing between my legs. "You know what will happen if you do?"

"N-No…" I breathe out. "Please, Arizona?"

"I'll leave you tied to this bed." She leans down, her lips ghosting over my one. "And you will watch me fuck myself."

"Mm…" I try to play her at her own game. "Wouldn't be the worst view in the world."

"Knowing there is nothing you could do about it, though?" She pulls back and raises her eyebrow. "Torture, Eliza…absolute torture."

"You're Killing me…" I groan.

"You asked for this." She takes my bottom lip between her teeth and tugs a little harder than usual. Her hand coming up and gripping my jaw, she trails her tongue up the middle of my neck before capturing my lips. "And now…I'm going to enjoy it." That buzzing sound and that pulsing sensation taking over my body once again, her grip on my jaw remains. "Just think about how good I'm going to fuck you…" Her voice is low. "How deep and hard you want me…"

"Shit." My breath catching as I squeeze my thighs together, she increases the vibration again and my heart pounds in my ears.

"Because that's how you want me…right?" She smirks against my mouth. "You want me just how I used to take you."

"Y-Yes." Fuck, I've never wanted it as much as I want it right now. "I want you so bad, Arizona."

"You know…" Stepping back, she grabs at her crotch and my eyes widen. "I have something else I know you want."

"Oh god." The vibration increasing once again, I pull at the restraint and she simply smiles. Knowing that she is packing beneath her jeans is going to send me over the edge before she has even sunk that toy inside of me. "I-I…" My body shaking as I try to hold off on my orgasm, she stops the toy and removes it from between my legs.

Watching as she pops the button on her jeans, she pushes them down her ass a little and pulls out the toy attached to the harness around her waist. It's bigger than the one I've seen before. The one I've had deep inside of me before. "You think you can take it?"

"Fuck, yes." I take my bottom lip between my teeth. "You know I can."

"I think I need a little relief myself." She tilts her head, her hand dipping beneath the harness. "Mm, you've got me so wet, Eliza."

"Maybe you should let me take care of it for you?" I suggest.

"How?" She narrows her eyes. "You're tied up…"

"With my tongue." _Fuck, I'm throbbing._ "My mouth." Watching on in delight as she detaches the silicone from the harness, I try to position myself a little better but it's no use. She's got me tied up tighter than ever before. Climbing onto the bed, her body is now only covered by her bra and her open shirt and all I want right now is to touch her skin. Feel it against my own. Shifting higher up, her knees rest either side of my body and my head lifts, desperate to taste my fiancé. "Move closer."

"Mm, demanding…" She glances down at me, her fingers spreading her folds as she shifts closer. Taking a long firm lick up the length of her sex, my fiancé is just as soaked as I am. "Oh, fuck." Her body falling forward and gripping the headboard, she rocks against my mouth. Harder and harder with each thrust of her hips. "Shit, right there…" Grinding against my mouth, her arousal coats my chin and I can feel it slipping down my throat as I take it on my tongue. I'm not sure I've ever known her to be so wet but I'm taking what I can get right now. "I U-Uh, Eliza." Her thighs shaking and tightening around my head, I suck her clit into my mouth and roll my tongue over it. _Fuck, I need air._ "Y-Yes, fuck yes." Trembling and fucking my tongue, my fiancé comes undone above me and slows her hips. "Ugh, shit."

"So good." I lap up everything she has to offer. "So fucking good." Climbing off of me, I miss her already but I know that I may have just shifted all of this in my favor. How can she possibly hold out any longer after I've just given her what she wanted? What she needed. "A-Arizona?"

"What?" She glances up at me, fixing the silicone back onto the harness.

"I need you…" My legs falling open and wider than ever, she leans down and presses a kiss to the inside of my thigh. Her breath washing over my sex, it causes a shudder to ripple through my body. "So bad…"

"I know." She smirks as she climbs back onto the bed, her hands placed either side of me as she leans down and captures my lips. "I know…" The toy pressing against my center, I wrap my legs around her waist and pull her in closer. Suddenly pulling back, I groan in disappointment and frustration.

"Do that again and I stop." She gives me a knowing look. Dipping her head and sucking my nipple into her mouth, I moan in pleasure and my hips force up against her. This is all total involuntary action right now. I can't stop my body from reacting even if I want to. Even if I'm trying to. _Fuck, she's going to stop._

"I'm sorry…" I whimper, my mind in overdrive. Pulling back, she gives me a sad smile and lines the head of the toy up with my entrance. Gently gripping my jaw, she leans down and runs her tongue along my bottom lip before suddenly pushing inside of me. "Oh, fuck!" All breath leaving my body, she gives me literally a second to adjust before pushing deeper. "Shit!" Every word leaving my mouth as a strangled cry, her hips roll into my own and I'm pretty sure Arizona couldn't possibly get any deeper if she tried. _Fuck, she's amazing._

"Mm…" She moans as she sits up on her knees and grips my thighs. "So. Fucking. Tight." Every word punctuated with a thrust, my head buries deeper into the pillow and my mouth falls open. "Fuck, you love this." She speaks barely above a whisper, the skin of my wrists screaming for relief. "Ugh, fuck." My legs wrapping around her waist as she pounds me like never before, I've just fallen in love with my fiancé all over again. "God, you're so good for me." She rolls her thumb over my clit as she releases one of my thighs before sitting forward on her left hand. "Doing exactly what I ask…" She pants, short sharp thrusts sending my body closer to the edge. "Sucking me in like this is all you've ever wanted…"

"Fuck…" Her teeth sinking into my shoulder, her right hand trails up my stomach, up towards my shoulder and up the inside of my arm. Releasing my wrists from their restraint, they fall above my head and my breasts bounce as she fucks me hard and fast.

"Baby…" Her lips reach my ear and my stomach tightens.

"Mm…" Euphoria taking over my entire body, I can't even open my eyes. I want to, but I can't.

"You can come now…" She smiles against my neck. "I want you to come for me, Eliza." Gripping her back, my nails break her skin and she moans in both pain and pleasure. She knows I love this side of her and I haven't had it for far too long. I love making soft, sweet love to Arizona, but sometimes we need to let go like this. Sometimes, I love being taken control of. Suddenly flipping us, Arizona lands on her back and I straddle her hips, our toy still buried so deep inside of me. My hands placed on her chest, I ride her and moan as the hilt rubs against my clit.

"I can't," I whisper, my head thrown back. "F-Feels too good…"

"Yeah?" Her eyes find mine for the first time in forever and my breath catches. My fiancé is the most beautiful woman in this world, there is no doubt about that. Glancing down my body, her hands find my thighs and she watches on in delight as the toy disappears in and out of me. Sinking down and putting on a show only for her, she chews on her bottom lip and moans as the base presses against her clit.

"Ugh, fuck!" My hands finding her ripped stomach, it tightens and contracts beneath my skin and I know she is enjoying this. I know she could watch me like this forever given half the chance. "God, you fuck me so good…" My words more of a moan, I lift up only to slam back down on her again. "Every time…" I smile, my eyes closed as I slowly rock back and forward, creating some incredible sensations for my fiancé.

"Fuck, keep doing that…" She whimpers, her hands tightening around my thighs. "Mm, fuck." Feeling her thighs trembling beneath me, I continue the pace I have going and her breathing becomes a little more labored. "E-Eliza, o-oh god…" Pulling me down against her, her hips lift and she moans into my mouth. Bringing her lips to my ear, her breath washes over the side of my face. "I-I'm coming…" She whimpers. "Y-Yes…" Not letting up, Arizona's body writhes beneath me and her grip on my body tightens. "Oh, god." Her moans like music to my ears, it's time for me to finally reach my high. The high she has been teasing me with for too long.

Climbing off of her, she sits up on her elbows to find me positioning myself on my hands and knees in front of her. "Arizona…" Her eyes widening at the sight in front of her, she scrambles to her knees and comes to rest behind me. "I need you…"

"Fuck, you've got me." Her fingertips gathering my arousal, she moans and runs her tongue the length of her fingers. "Ready…" Simply moaning, she pushes back inside of me and my head falls between my shoulders. "You take this so fucking good." Her hands gripping my waist, she pulls me back against the toy and thrusts just as deep and as hard as before. "God, I wanna hear you scream my name…"

"H-Harder…" I pant. "I want you to give me everything, Arizona."

"Jesus Christ…" One hand finding my shoulder, Arizona forces herself against me and buries the silicone to the hilt. "Holy shit!" Glancing over my shoulder, I find her watching as she slowly pulls back and almost slips right out of me. "Take it, beautiful…" Slamming home, my body jolts forward and my stomach tightens. It tightens like never before.

"Fuck, yes." My eyes slamming shut and my mouth hanging open, every breath is barely keeping my body functioning. "I-I…" Pressing my fingertips against my clit, I slowly roll them over it and the moan that falls from my mouth surprises even me. "C-Coming." I whimper, my knees weakening by the second. "Oh god!" One more deep thrust and my body is totally gone. A scream ripping from my throat in the form of Arizona's name, she can barely move inside of me.

"Fuck, that's hot." She slows her pace, her hands working the skin of my back before slipping lower to the curve of my ass. "So fucking hot."

"Mm…" My lower body hits the bed when my elbows and wrists give way. "Wow." I breathe out, my eyes still closed. "T-That…wow."

"You wanted it and you got it." Arizona drops down beside me, her body just as spent as mine. "You know I'd never let you down…"

"A-Arizona…" I try to level out my breathing but I'm not sure that is going to happen within the next week. "Thank you for the most amazing day…"

"You're welcome." She presses a kiss to my nose. "Anything for the only woman I've ever truly loved…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Show Me Heaven**

* * *

Chapter Nineteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Waking to complete silence, I glance to my right and find Eliza face down and naked. Last night really took it out of her but I'm sure she's not complaining. I mean, that feeling of control I had again? It felt insane. It felt new. I may have enjoyed it, but I don't plan on bringing it back full time. I've enjoyed losing myself in my fiancé. I've enjoyed not being in control of every situation and honestly, that last night has satisfied my craving for a long time to come. Sure, we both loved it and enjoyed every moment of it, but it's not who I am anymore. It's not _really_ who I ever was. Not the true me, anyway. Everyone can get a little dominant every once in a while but the way I once was wasn't healthy. At least, I don't believe it was. If Eliza ever expresses her desires to share a night like that again, I wouldn't turn her down, but I need her to know that it won't be a regular occurrence. Whilst I love giving her whatever she wants, I believe the way we've been since we reconnected is how it should stay. All it takes is for one thing to cause a setback in my recovery and all my hard work will be undone. I may have been in control in the bedroom last night, but I didn't feel as in control within myself as I have done since my therapy ended. Maybe I'm just thinking too much into it, but I didn't like not knowing what I was going to do next. I didn't like my attitude or the way I spoke to her. I know it's just a game and ultimately we fell asleep holding each other and in love, but I wasn't sure if it was too much at one point and it kinda unsettled me.

I know Eliza would voice her concern if I'd hurt her or I'd done something she didn't like, but I still didn't like the way I switched so easily back to my old ways. _She loved it._ I know that…but I think we need to discuss how this is going to go. If it's genuinely something she wants to continue, that would be okay I guess, but if she is unsure like I am…I need her to be honest with me. Although, she didn't seem unsure about anything that happened last night. _Fuck, she was begging for it._ I'm definitely thinking too much into this. Maybe I'm making something out of nothing. _Yeah, probably._ I won't lie, it was all kinds of hot. How she begged me on her hands and knees to take her. How she apologized for desperately needing to come. Yeah, it was hot and everything I used to enjoy. So long as it doesn't become a regular thing, she can have that side of me more often. Just…in moderation.

My hands trailing her naked back as I climb to my knees, I straddle her legs from behind and press soft kisses to her back. Sighing and shifting a little, she is beginning to wake and the sooner she does, the better. I don't like being awake when Eliza isn't. It's boring. I don't know what to do with myself. "Wake up, beautiful lady…" My lips trailing her shoulder, they reach her ear and I can feel her smiling. "I love you…"

"I love you, too." Turning her head a little, she opens one eye and gives me a gorgeous smile. "So much."

"Not as much as I love you," I whisper against her lips. "Never."

"You don't know how good you feel against me." She mumbles, a low groan falling from her mouth as my hands trail down her back, my sex grinding against her ass. "Like a dream…"

"You _are_ my dream." I smile, her soft skin igniting my fingertips. "And today, that dream gets more real."

"How exactly do you plan to make that happen?" She asks, her voice low and still filled with sleep.

"We start planning our wedding…"

"Y-Yeah?" She shifts and I lift a little while she turns over, her incredible eyes finding mine.

"No time like the present, right?" I raise an eyebrow, my hands now trailing her stomach. "I mean, if you want to?"

"Oh, I do." She pulls me down against her and shifts her leg until I'm resting between them. "I definitely do." Her lips pressing against my own, her hips arch and I smile against her mouth when I feel her arousal on my skin. It's more than evident. "Miss Minnick…have you been thinking about me this morning?" I narrow my eyes.

"Always…" Her hand cups my face and she gives me one of her adorable smiles. "You're the only one _ever_ on my mind."

"Right back atcha, pretty lady." My tongue trails her jawline. "You know, I feel like I'm starting all over again with you…"

"I feel that, too."

"But I cannot wait," I say with certainty. "I've wanted you like this for so long and I cannot wait anymore. I just...this is our time, Eliza. This is our time and it's going to be so much better than the last…"

"I know." She smiles, nodding in agreement. "I can feel how different this time around is."

"But does it feel good?" I study her face. "Honestly?"

"It does." She says. "It feels right."

"I want it to always feel that way…" Pressing my lips to her own, I pull back and sigh. "Just…you know last night?"

"Mm, I do…" Eliza smirks.

"Can it not become a common thing for us?" I give her an awkward smile. "I mean, it was all kinds of hot…but I need it to not go back that way."

"I don't want it to go back that way." She agrees. "Having you like this. The way you are now…It's beautiful. It's perfect. I'd take this over all the controlling nights we've ever shared."

"Yeah?" My smile widens.

"Oh, yeah." She laughs. "How often did we wake up together like this? How often did we just talk and touch each other?"

"Not often." I give my fiancé a sad smile. "And I guess that's one of the things I felt bad about when I got myself back to a good place."

"Felt bad?" She waits for me to elaborate.

"Yeah, just…I missed out on all of that with you." I sigh. "Waking beside you and just being with you. It wasn't that I didn't want that with you, but I was so used to _not_ having it, that it wasn't as important to me. So long as I was making you feel good, I didn't care."

"This makes me feel just as good, Arizona." Her arms wrap around my neck and my upper body presses against her own. "Waking and just having you against me makes me feel better than any of the sex in the past did."

"Feels good to hear you say that," I admit. "I wasn't sure this was what you wanted, you know?"

"You thought I was here for the control…" She breathes out. "I'm sorry you felt that way."

"No, that's now how I felt." I try to backtrack. "But this time around, I wasn't sure what you expected. Whether you just thought everything would be how it used to be."

"You want the truth?" She raises my jawline with her thumb and I simply nod. "I want you like this." She gives me a full smile. "I want to wake beside you every morning and just take a little time to hold each other. Take a little time to wake and just love…"

"I want that, too." I have to be honest with her. If this is going to be as perfect as I feel it's going to be, then yeah…honesty is best for us. "Now, I'm going to hold you a little longer but then we are up and out of here." I give her a knowing look. "I meant it when I told you I'm ready to begin our wedding prep and I may have planned some things for today."

"Like what?" She furrows her brow.

"Just…some venues," I smirk. "Maybe a little lunch to go with it."

"You're amazing…" She smiles as she pulls me down into a soft kiss. "And mine."

"All yours…"

* * *

Stepping through the biggest doors I've ever seen, Eliza's smile widens and I'm pretty sure I'm the fiancé of the year right now. She's loved all of the venues we've checked out today, but none of them have had this kind of reaction. None of them have even come close. Her hand securely in mine, we head through the lower level ballroom and my eyes widen. "Wow…"

"Yeah, wow." Eliza mirrors my own reaction before releasing a deep breath. "This is something else, Arizona."

"T-This is everything." I wrap my arms around her waist as she stops dead in the middle of the room. "And I can see us here…"

"Yeah?" She rests her head back on my shoulder. "You think this is the place?"

"I believe it is." I press a kiss below her ear. "But this is your decision. I want you to choose our venue."

"I love it." She tightens her grip on my hands as they settle on her stomach. "I love it…a lot."

"But?"

"Do we have this kind of money?" She asks, a little worry evident in her voice. "I mean, do we?" She turns in my arms and studies my face. "I don't even know what it would come close to costing…"

"We have enough." I smile as I nod slightly. "Leave it all to me, okay?"

"Um, no." She shakes her head. "That isn't happening."

"Fine…" I'm not arguing with her right now but before we leave, I _am_ putting a deposit down on this amazing place. "But we can do this." I shrug. "It's going to be amazing."

"Did you see how incredible the bridal suite was?" She asks, her voice dream-like. "God…"

"This is happening, Eliza." I press a kiss to her lips. "Everything about us is happening and I need you to give me a date. I need you to tell me when you want this."

"Honestly…" She smiles. "Now works for me."

"Me too…" I grin. "But we need a little time, right?"

"Yeah, just…not too much." She sighs. "Six months?"

"Six months sounds perfect to me." I give her a nod in agreement. "Six months and you will be in this room and about to become my wife."

"Wow…" She furrows her brow. "My stomach went a little crazy just then when you said that."

"Because I make you crazy, right?" I throw her a wink.

"Oh, you make me more than crazy." She rolls her eyes playfully. "But we will save _that_ discussion for somewhere a little more private." Her hand slipping to my ass, I'm kinda glad that we're alone in this room right now. We've seen everything we need to see and yeah, I'm ready to go out there and give the woman who greeted us a date. A date and whatever else she needs.

"You ready?" I ask.

"No." She tightens her grip on my body and nuzzles into my chest. "Not yet."

"Okay." My fingers running through her hair, she moans as I gently drag my nails down her scalp. "You're happy, right?"

"So unbelievably happy." She breathes out. "Like, I could burst right now."

"Well, I'd prefer it if you didn't." I press a kiss to the top of her head. "Wouldn't want to show up here on our wedding day alone."

"Do you have any idea just how much you make me happy, Arizona?" She pulls back and studies my face. "Honestly?"

"This time around…yeah." I nod. "I do."

"I wish you'd never left…" Her thumb trails my jawline. "But I'm glad, too."

"I know what you mean." I smile. "I know this has all been a lot for you to take in but I'm never going anywhere again, Eliza. The moment I walked back through the door, I knew I needed you back. I knew I was done living my life without you."

"Thank you for choosing me." Her voice breaks. "Thank you for allowing me to be the one you spend your life with."

"I wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else." I tilt my head a little and my dimples pop. "No matter what we've been through…I know you are the one who I want to spend my life with. I know that you are the only woman who could ever make me feel this way."

"Feels good to hear you say that." She blushes. "I can't ever lose you again…I hope you know that."

"Six months and you will be stuck with me," I whisper against her mouth. "Is this the place you want, Eliza?"

"Y-Yes." Her breath catches as my hand gently grips her jawline. "I want this and I want you."

"Then this is the place you will have." My tongue trailing her bottom lip, her gorgeous green eyes close and my heart pounds in my chest. I've never felt so content with anything in my life, but with Eliza…this is more than enough. Right now, I would say my life is the definition of perfect. That may be a little cocky and confident of me but I know what I want…and yeah, I got it. I totally got the woman of my dreams so I can be as cocky and confident as I want. If it makes me happy and if it makes us happy, I'm perfectly fine with being overly confident for the rest of my existence. "Come on, I have a wedding venue to book and pay for."

"Arizona…we should just put down a deposit for now." She releases her grip on my body and laces our fingers together.

"Are you planning on running away before the day arrives?" I raise an eyebrow as we head for the exit of the grand room we have been standing in.

"N-No." She furrows her brow.

"Then this place is to be paid in full…right now." Smacking her ass as she opens the door, a shriek leaves her throat and we fall into step together. "Mom is going to freak when she sees this place."

"Yeah…" My soon to be wife agrees. _Fuck, I cannot believe this is happening._ In the months I was away, I wasn't sure I'd ever find my way back to Eliza. I wasn't sure I'd ever have the chance to tell her how much I loved her ever again. We are here, though. We are here and we are about to take that final step in our relationship. I promised myself I would never put a ring on another woman's finger for the rest of my life, but Eliza appeared and turned everything I've ever known completely upside down. She did that, and I can never thank her enough. We may have been separated for eight months, but this right now is our time. It's our time to just love one another…no questions asked. It's our time to thrive and enjoy life. _God, I'm already enjoying it more than ever before._

"This is my gift to you." I pull out my credit card as we approach the owner of the mansion we are about to book for our wedding venue.

"N-No…" She gives me a sad smile. "You don't have to do that."

"It's my gift to you, Eliza." I pull her in close. "For leaving. For all of the sleepless nights I caused you, both when we were together and when we were apart. For waiting and one day hoping I could be yours again. Just…thank you. Thank you for believing in me…"

"I love you…" She pulls me into a kiss and smiles against my mouth.

"I love you, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Show Me Heaven**

* * *

Chapter Twenty

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _Two months later…_

My writing has totally taken a backseat lately. Our wedding is only four months away and I need things to be perfect. I need to be sure that we have everything covered since my fiancé booked that amazing venue for us. Honestly, I don't even know how she found the place but I'm not complaining. It's the kind of thing I've only ever seen in my dreams and no matter what happens leading up to our day, I know it's going to be perfect. If I forget something, it won't matter…but that doesn't mean I can slack. I have to keep on top of my jobs…just like Arizona is doing with hers. I mean, for someone who didn't want a big wedding, she sure has gone all out since we booked our venue. She's even almost finished with the flowers and the seating plan. Yes, it's only going to be intimate…but that's what we want. It will be grand, but small. She was right last time when she said that we didn't have a great deal of people that we wanted there, but it doesn't matter. So long as we are there…the rest will fall into place. Just like it always does.

"Mm, good morning…" Arizona wraps her arms around my waist from behind and trails soft kisses down my neck. "You smell so good."

"Wondered if you would ever wake…" My head falls back on my fiancé's shoulder and a smile settles on my mouth. "You good?"

"So good." Her hands settle beneath my tee and against my skin. "Especially when I got my hands on you."

"Plenty more where that came from." I lace our fingers together.

"You had any emails from any artists yet?" She asks, her chin resting on my shoulder.

"I haven't checked this morning." I shrug. "Had more important things on my mind…"

"Oh yeah?" She smirks against my neck. "Like what?"

"You."

"Mm…and what exactly were you thinking?" Her hand dipping past the waistband of my jeans, my fiancé moans against my ear and it sends a shiver down my spine. "Maybe something like this?"

"Maybe…" I say, nonchalantly.

"Only maybe?" She sucks on the skin of my neck. "What do I have to do…"

"Whatever you want to do." She pushes me forward and against the kitchen island. Her sex grinding against my ass.

"Do you have any idea how good it feels knowing that you will soon be my wife?"

"You're giving me an idea right now…" I moan as she pops the button on my jeans. Suddenly interrupted by the doorbell, we both groan and pull apart. "Just my luck." I drop my head between my shoulders.

"I'll get rid of them…" Arizona smirks. "Be right back." Throwing me a wink, my fiancé looks a little flustered but I know exactly how she's feeling right now. She always has me on edge the second she touches me. My cell buzzing on the counter, I find a new email waiting in my inbox and figure I'll pick it up now before my fiancé comes back and takes up the rest of my day.

 _This is your mother._

 _Call me!_

 _Okay, not what I expected._ I haven't heard from my mom since I divorced Joshua and honestly, I'm not sure I want her in my life right now. She will only tell me exactly how she feels and what a disappointment I was when I divorced. I'd say she would be happy to know I was about to remarry, but she wouldn't. She is very involved with her church and my sexual preferences simply wouldn't be up to her standard. Finding her number at the end of the email she sent, I make a note of it and lock my cell.

"Okay, so Mr. Murphy across the street wants me to take a look at his car." Arizona reappears and her hands find my hips. "Told him he would have to wait because my lady needs some lovin'..."

"My mom just contacted me."

"What? That's great." Arizona steps back and turns me in her arms. "Is she okay? What did she say?"

"It was just an email. She wants me to call her."

"So, what are you waiting for?" She furrows her brow. "I mean, I know you don't talk about her much, but this could be good for you. You may have your family at the wedding."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen." I laugh. "The only one I could ever count on to be there would be my dad. Mom wouldn't allow it, though. Not without her. No way."

"You still need to call." She gives me a knowing look. "She's clearly reaching out to you and I think it's important that you at least hear what she has to say."

"Yeah, you're right." I nod as I take my cell in my hands again. "Don't be surprised if she only wants to fight, though." Rolling my eyes, I add her number to my cell and hit the call button. Usually, I'd be a nervous wreck talking to my mom after going so long without, but I'm past caring with her. She made it clear that she didn't care about where I ended up when she didn't bother contacting me last year. "Hello?" My call connects.

"Eliza." My mom clears her throat. "It's nice to hear from you." Sarcasm evident in her voice.

"Could say the same to you, mom." I laugh. "You're hardly parent of the year."

"I didn't ask you to call so you could be rude to me…"

"Then why did you ask me to call?"

"Where are you?" My mom asks.

"At home," I reply.

"And where is home now?" _Wow, she didn't even bother to take my address that I left with her._

"Chicago."

"Please send me your address." She perks up. "We need to talk."

"Um, about what?" I furrow my brow.

"I'm not doing this on a call to you…send me your address and I will make my way to you now."

"Uh, okay." I give my fiancé a look of confusion. "I'll send it over now." My call suddenly disconnecting, I'm more than sure my mom isn't coming here to make amends. I don't know what the hell her problem is now, but she isn't ruining any of this for me. I'll cut her off completely before that happens. "Are you ready to meet my mom?" I ask my fiancé, my eyebrow raised.

"Sure." She shrugs. "I was born ready."

* * *

Three hours later, I'm sitting patiently waiting for my mom and she's totally ruined my plans for the day. The plans that included Arizona and me in some very naked positions. Naked and sweaty. Naked and wet…soaked, even. _Ugh, I want my fiancé on top of me right now._ Just thinking about it is making me squirm and the sooner my mom arrives, the sooner she can leave my life again. I love her, but Jesus Christ, she makes it painfully hard to maintain.

The sound of a car pulling up outside, I stand and glance out of the window, my mom climbing from her car. She hasn't changed. Same hairstyle. Same boring clothing. Same miserable face. Rolling my eyes when Arizona nudges me and pushes me towards the door, I pull it open and clear my throat. "Hi, mom."

"Eliza." She gives me a slight nod. "May I come inside?"

"Of course." Putting on my best smile, my mom brushes past me and Arizona grabs my ass, a smile curling on my mouth. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, I won't stay long." She turns back to face me. "Is it necessary for your friend to be here right now?" She switches her gaze between us both.

"She isn't my friend, mom." Taking Arizona's hand in my own, she squeezes it tight and gives my mom her dimpled smile. "Arizona is my fiancé."

"So, the rumors are true?" She rolls her eyes.

"Great to meet you, Mrs. Minnick." Arizona steps forward and holds out her hand. Reluctantly taking it in her own, my mom gives her an awkward smile but my fiancé doesn't seem bothered by it. "Are you sure we cannot get you something to drink?"

"No." She straightens out her perfectly pressed suit. "Thank you."

"So, what's up?" I shrug as I close the distance between us and motion for my mom to sit.

"Eliza, I'm here with some news…"

"Oh, okay." I furrow my brow. "Everything okay with you?" _I hope she isn't sick._

"Your father passed away yesterday morning." She has that hard look on her face but inside, I know she's dying. "Heart attack."

"W-Why?" I can feel my body suddenly shutting down on me. "H-How?" Tears well in my eyes.

"I don't know." She scoffs. "I'm not a damn doctor."

"Alright, hold up!" Arizona cuts in. "We don't need to get into attitudes right now…"

"This has nothing to do with you." My mom stands. "And I'm done here."

"That's it?" My fiancé asks. "You just come here and drop something like that on your daughter and you aren't even going to wait around to console her?"

"Eliza and I don't have that kind of relationship." My eyes closing, I shake my head slightly and place it in my hands. "I'm sure you can be that person for her."

"Damn right I can." She says. "But you're her mom."

"You're the one who had Joshua killed, aren't you?" Mom furrows her brow.

"Um, no." Arizona shakes her head. "SWAT killed him…not me."

"I don't believe that news story for one minute." She shakes her head. "He was a good man."

"And that is none of my concern." Heading for the door, Arizona pulls it open and motions for my mom to leave. "If you have nothing nice to say, I'd rather you left."

"Your father's funeral will be held one week from tomorrow." Mom glances back at me. "I would like you to attend…alone." The door closing, tears fall from my eyes and Arizona closes the distance between us.

"Hey…come on." She pulls me into her arms. "I've got you." Wrapping her arms around me tighter, I bury my face in her chest and allow my tears to take over. Dad and I hadn't spoken in a while but he did check up on me now and again. He knew how mom felt about me and I don't blame him for not getting between it. He simply sat back and chose not to take a side. Now he's gone, and I feel awful for not contacting him more. I feel awful because he was the only one who really cared about me. Even if that had to be secretly. "You okay?" Arizona presses a kiss to my head.

"H-He didn't shut me out like she did." I cry, wiping the tears from my face. "He was a good man."

"I'm sure he was." My fiancé nods. "You _are_ his daughter, after all."

"He knew about you." I sigh. "He said he was happy for me…but then it turned to shit and we didn't discuss it again."

"I'm sorry…"

"No, I just wanted you to know that he knew I was in love…engaged. With the woman I'm going to spend my life with."

"I'm glad he knew…" Arizona smiles. "I'm glad he accepted you."

"Dad always knew I didn't love Joshua," I admit. "Whenever I was feeling down in my marriage, I would visit my dad and we would just hang out. We didn't talk about it…but he got it. He just knew…"

"He sounds like an awesome guy."

"He was." I nod. "Then she turned everyone against me and my dad wasn't that kind of person. He didn't get into disputes or take sides. He didn't want anything to do with it. I used to secretly call him."

"You never said…"

"I wanted it to stay that way." I shrug. "Then, if he cut me off too…it would've made it easier."

"I'm so sorry she just left like that." Arizona sighs. "I thought she was coming here to try and change things between you guys."

"Honestly, I did too." I give her a sad smile. "But I'm okay with her not being in my life…my dad, that's a different story."

"She wants you to go to the funeral alone."

"I know…" I squeeze my fiancé's hand. "And I'm sure you don't want to be there…but I would've liked it if you could come with me."

"If you want me there, I will be by your side, Eliza." She presses a kiss to my lips. "I don't care what she said…you are the one that matters."

"Thank you." I wrap Arizona up in a hug. "For being the one who loves me."

"Always will, beautiful…" Her lips finding my own again, I push her back against the couch and straddle her legs.

"You're amazing." She holds me close. Safely. "And I don't know what I would do right now without you."

"So long as you know I'm here for you…I'm good enough with that." She gives me one of her best smiles. "You wanna talk this out?"

"I-I don't really know how I feel yet." I sigh, sitting back on my knees and running my fingers through my hair. "She just left…" I scoff. "I mean, I know we don't have much of a relationship…but she just left."

"I know, baby." She runs the palm of her hand up and down my thigh. "Maybe you should have been alone with her. She clearly doesn't like me."

"She doesn't like many people, Arizona." My hand settles against the side of her face and she leans into my touch. "I wouldn't worry about it…"

"I'm not." She breathes out. "But it doesn't make things any easier for you."

"I've got you, right?" I raise an eyebrow, my heart heavy in my chest.

"You know it." Arizona pulls me in close and I nuzzle my face in the crook of her neck. "I'm sorry he left you, Eliza."

"Me too." My voice breaks, tears hitting Arizona's skin. "How did you deal with it?"

"Honestly, I didn't." She admits. "But we have each other and that means a lot, yeah?"

"It means everything." A small smile curls on my mouth as her scent calms me. "Everything to me, anyway."

"And me…" Her hand settles on my lower back and a comfortable silence falls between us. This day started out pretty damn good for me but now it's falling apart. The only thing I can hold onto right now is the fact that I have my fiancé here with me to help me through this. I don't care if mom doesn't want her at the funeral. He was my dad and I'll do what I like. Mom may have had a hold over him all these years, but I will say my final goodbye how I want to…and that is with Arizona by my side.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Show Me Heaven**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-One

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I hate seeing Eliza upset. I hate how her mom has treated her. I thought she was coming here to make things right between them but I was wrong. I was so wrong. How can someone…someone who you call mom, show up at your home, give you the worst news imaginable and leave? Just…leave? Who does that? Who is so heartless and lacking in compassion that it seems appropriate to behave that way? Honestly, I'm still shocked. A week on, I'm shocked beyond belief. Cruel, that is what it is. It's cruel and nasty on her mom's part. Bitterness that will one day eat her up inside. I'm perfectly fine with being the one who picks up the pieces but it shouldn't be that way. Eliza is her daughter. Her flesh and blood. She is supposed to be her life. They should be dealing with this heartbreak together. Not in separate cities and living separate lives. _God, I wish this was all different._ None of this feels right. Family is supposed to stick together. Be there for one another.

I can see how hurt Eliza is by all of this. Her mom hasn't even bothered to call her since she rudely showed up at our place and informed my fiancé of her father's death. She sent a generic email and that is the only contact Eliza has had with her mom since then. I asked if she wanted to head home to help with the arrangements but she disagreed. She doesn't want to rock the boat or cause a scene. She's sweet like that. She is kind and compassionate and I'm more than certain she gets that from her dad. It isn't possible that she shares anything with her mom. She is a total bitch and I'm not afraid to relay that to her if and when it is needed. Eliza means the world to me and I won't have her pushed out at her own dad's funeral. No way.

I offered to hang back here when the day came, which is today, but Eliza wants me and honestly…I think she is going to need me. She is trying to put on a strong front but I see past it. I see the hurt and I hear the crying when she locks herself in the bathroom. If she needs time alone each night to break down, that is okay. I wouldn't ever make her talk and I wouldn't ever expect her to just be open and honest with me. I can remember my own dad's death like it happened only yesterday and I've been more than honest about how I coped…or didn't as it turned out. I don't want Eliza to go the same way I did. I don't want her to turn to alcohol like I did. It doesn't solve anything and it doesn't help the mood swings at all. It only makes things worse and I learned that the hard way.

Checking myself out in the mirror before leaving our bedroom, I'm satisfied that my appearance is acceptable for today's plans. So long as I'm there for Eliza, I don't care for the opinions of others. Eliza is all that is on my mind today and the sooner this awful day is over with, the sooner I can have her home...holding her. Loving her. Being whatever she needs from me. I'm praying that her dad's funeral runs smoothly but I have a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that it won't. I have a sinking feeling and I don't like it. Her mom has already expressed her desire to _not_ have me there and we are clearly going against her wishes. I just hope it doesn't all turn to shit because I'm not sure Eliza could handle that. I'm not sure her mental state is great right now so no, she doesn't need anything or anyone adding to her suffering. Hell will freeze over before I allow it.

Taking the stairs slowly, I can hear my fiancé rustling about in the kitchen but I decide to keep the silence going a little longer. She hasn't been much conversation lately but I get it. I'm not offended or worried…I just get it. Approaching Eliza from behind, my arms wrap around her waist and my chin settles on her shoulder. "You look beautiful." Pressing a kiss below her ear, I attempt to pull away but her hands grip my own.

"Don't leave…"

"Okay." I tighten my grip around her waist. "You feeling okay?"

"I think so." Eliza sighs. "My stomach doesn't feel too good. I think I'm just nervous."

"You know I've got you, right?" Turning my fiancé in my arms, my eyes trail her gorgeous face, a small smile curling on her mouth. "You know anything you need…you've got it."

"I know." She agrees.

"Including me leaving if it becomes too much between you and your mom…"

"Arizona, we've been through this." Eliza breathes out. "If you leave, I leave too."

"Eliza." My thumb trailing her bottom lip, my hand settles on the side of her face and she leans into my touch, her eyes closing. "You know I'm here to be whatever you need me to be, but if you think at any point it's best that I leave…I won't be offended. That's all I'm saying, okay?"

"Okay." Her soft green eyes flutter open. "I'm so glad I have you in my life for today."

"Wouldn't be anywhere else, beautiful."

"At one time, I didn't have you…" Eliza's voice breaks. "Just a few months ago, I didn't have you and I can't stop thinking about how different this would've been if I had to go through this alone."

"Hey…" I press my lips to her own. "You aren't alone and that is what you have to focus on, okay?" Gaining a slight nod from my fiancé, she settles in my arms, her shoulders relaxing a little. "And even if I hadn't been in your life when this happened…you know I'd have dropped everything to be here with you. Together or not."

"I love you." Eliza smiles a half smile. "You really do have a beautiful soul, Arizona."

"I get it all from you." Throwing my fiancé a wink, she reaches out and takes her coffee cup in her hands, my arms still wrapped around her. "You're stronger than you realize, Eliza."

"Only with you by my side."

"Good thing I'll always be by your side then, huh?" I give her a sad smile. "We should leave in the next twenty, okay?"

"Okay…" She breathes out, the color of her face becoming a little paler than I would like. "I just…I need to check I have everything before we leave."

"Do what you have to do and I'll be here waiting for you." Pressing a kiss to Eliza's forehead, I step back and give her a little space. Space I think she may need right now. Space to breathe and space to remind herself of what today is. "I'll be out front if you need me, okay?"

"Thank you…"

* * *

I'm keeping out of the way. I don't know why I feel so unwanted here right now but I've been receiving glares from Eliza's mom like I've just killed her cat and I swear, I'm not here for the hostility. I'm not here to be looked down on, I'm here to look after my number one priority…my fiancé. The sooner Eliza's mom realizes that the sooner she can concentrate on her own shitty attitude and leave me alone.

Eliza is talking with some of her friends from home and I'm sipping my coffee outside of the venue her mom hired for after her husband's funeral. Hearing his eulogy only made my heart break even more for Eliza. Her dad, Christopher, seemed like a really nice guy. The number of people in attendance only confirmed that for me though when we arrived here. The moment we stepped out of the car, I knew he was loved. I knew he was Eliza's world. Even if she never talked about him, I knew how much he meant to her. As I sat holding her, her head buried in my chest as she said her final goodbye, I knew just how broken she was inside.

I understand her lack of conversation about him, though. Knowing how it ended between her and her family, I totally understand why she didn't talk about him often. It was too painful for her. You know, realizing what she lost even if she did hold secret calls with him. He clearly loved her and wanted the best for her, and that is why he never showed up at her home, or ours, demanding she returns to their city. If I could have just met him for five minutes, I would've promised to look after his daughter. I would've told him just how incredible she was. How loved she was.

He knew, though. He knew we were together and I appreciate him not getting involved and trying to turn Eliza against me. His lack of communication was his way of having Eliza's back. I know it was. If her mom got even a hint of the secret calls…she would've been at my door like a shot. She would've made Eliza's life a living hell. He didn't want that for her and so he backed off. He backed off and allowed her to live her life. Her true self. The authentic life she always dreamed about. That happened with me and today, I feel truly blessed. I feel like everything has completely fallen into place and these people here don't matter. Not to me and probably not to Eliza. She will say her goodbyes at some point today and we will head home together. We will continue to sleep in each other's arms. We will continue to love one another wholeheartedly whether these people here agree or not.

"Arizona…" A voice that chills me to the bone sounds behind me.

"Mrs. Minnick." I clear my throat.

"I asked you not to come here today…"

"Mm, you did." I sip my coffee. "But Eliza asked that I come with her so I did."

"I don't like you."

"You don't know me." I counter. "But that is okay. Eliza and I are getting married in a few months and she is all I will ever need."

"This is ridiculous." Eliza's mom scoffs. "You had Joshua killed so she would be yours."

"Joshua actually tried to cut my throat but okay." I nod. "This is your husbands funeral and I'm not doing this with you. Once today is over, you never have to see me again. I'd like to think that this could all end differently but you have formed your opinion of me and I'm okay with that."

"She killed him." Mrs. Minnick spits. "His own daughter killed him."

"Excuse me?" I raise an eyebrow before glancing around, checking that nobody else is hearing this. Eliza, more so than anyone else.

"Her leaving…it killed him." She says. "He couldn't take the stress of knowing how she was living her life. He couldn't take the stress of knowing that she cheated with a woman whilst married to a wonderful man." _If only she knew, huh?_

"And he told you this?"

"He didn't need to." She shakes her head. "I could see it in his eyes. How sad this made him. His daughter was a disappointment and in time, it killed him."

"I, uh…I think you shouldn't assume unless you know with absolute certainty that he felt that way." I hold up my hand. "I don't want to hear any more. This isn't fair to Eliza."

"What isn't fair to me?" My fiancé's voice pierces through the silence. "Arizona?"

"Hey…" I put on my best fake smile. "I've been waiting for you."

"Sorry." She leans in, a kiss pressing below my ear. "Cousins, you know?"

"Mm." I nod.

"So, what's the topic of discussion?" Eliza asks, turning to face her mom as my hand settles on the small of her back. "Mom?"

"You." She sighs. "I just…I don't know how you can live with yourself."

"Because I'm gay?" She laughs. "Really?"

"You _know_ you are the reason your father passed." She scolds. "Everything you have put him through. We are through, Eliza. I hope you know that."

"I put him through?" Eliza's voice hits a level I haven't heard before. "How dare you say that!"

"Lose that tone with me." Her mom steps closer, pointing her finger in my fiancé's face. "Don't dare speak to me like that."

"He loved me." Eliza spits. "He supported me and my choices. He was just too scared to tell you because _you're_ a bitch!"

"GET OUT!"

"Oh, I'm gone." My fiancé holds up her hands. "I'm only here for him. Not you."

"Eliza, come on." My arm wraps around her waist. "You don't need this right now." Lowering my voice, Eliza's head drops on her shoulders. Disappointment evident in her body language. "Let's get out of here, yeah?"

"Y-Yeah." Her voice breaks. "W-We should go."

"Goodbye, Mrs. Minnick." Straight-faced, I glare at Eliza's mom but she doesn't seem interested in the fact that she has just caused a scene or hurt her daughter. She doesn't seem interested in anything other than herself.

"You know, I wanted you at my wedding, Mom." Eliza cries. "I wanted you both there."

"I don't care." She sighs. "Just…leave."

"Maybe one day you will realize that I'm your daughter. Just like dad did." My fiancé wipes a tear from her jawline. "And for the record…I wish it was _you_ I had buried today. Not him!" Gripping my hand tight, Eliza pulls me through the venue, all eyes on us as we leave. I don't know if the crowd is because of the fact that there are two openly gay women holding hands or because of what has just happened, but I'm going with the latter. "I hate her." Eliza cries as we reach the outside. "I fucking hate her."

"Come on…" I wrap my arms around her. "Don't get yourself worked up. You don't need it."

"I just…she's horrible. She's a bitch and I _do_ wish she was dead."

"Hey…you don't mean that." I pull back, brushing Eliza's hair from her gorgeous face. Sad, but gorgeous. "You're angry and you don't mean that."

"Except I do." She scoffs. "How can she blame me for my dad's death?"

"Because she's kinda fucked up that way." I sigh, not realizing those words have just come out of my mouth. "Sorry…"

"Don't be." Eliza smiles, her tears drying on her damp cheeks as she leans back against my car. "I know the truth, right?"

"Right." I smile into a kiss. "You know how much he loved you, Eliza. Your mom? She can go to hell."

"I don't think even hell would want her." My fiancé sighs as I rest my forehead against hers. "I don't know how dad lived with her all these years."

"Because he loved her." My thumb grazes Eliza's bottom lip. "He loved you both regardless of how your mom felt."

"I'm going to miss him so much, Arizona." Her face nuzzles into the crook of my neck. "I won't hear his voice ever again…"

"I know, baby." My hand trails up and down her back, soothing her. "I know but in time, it gets easier." I press a kiss to her head. "It won't feel like it, but it does…I promise you."

"You won't ever leave?" Eliza pulls back and glances up at me, tears slipping freely down her face. "Promise me you won't ever leave me, Arizona…"

"I'm here until the end, beautiful." She fists her hand in the front of my shirt, holding onto me like I'm about to disappear from her life forever. "I'm _so_ here until the very end…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Show Me Heaven**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Two

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Those things my mom said…they hurt. They hurt more than I thought they would, or could. I know she is a total bitch and I know that will never change, but how she said it so effortlessly, it hurts. It hurts a lot. Thankfully, I had Arizona by my side, but that only makes me feel worse. I mean, does she believe what my mom said? Does she believe that I'm the reason my dad is dead? I know she doesn't and I know I'm just thinking unreasonably right now, but how could someone say that to me? If they knew the truth…it would be a whole different story. I know that and so does Arizona. Her opinion is the only one I care about and I know she's here for me. I know she's got me. She always will.

We haven't really discussed what happened with my mom three days ago, but I know my fiancé is waiting for me to blow. I know she is patiently waiting for the moment when my mood turns to shit and she has to bear the brunt of it. I don't want it to happen, but I can feel it building. I can feel that anger rising inside of me and I'm not here for it. I don't want it to ruin my day. Honestly, it's why I'm still safely tucked away in bed. Out of the way. Unable to piss Arizona off or hurt her with my words. She is so good and doing so incredibly well right now…so I don't want to fuck up her mood. I don't want to bring her down with me. She doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve any of this.

I want to head downstairs and share my morning with my fiancé but what good could come from that? Arizona is waiting for me to blow and I'm waiting for myself to do the exact same. Surely that alone is a recipe for disaster. Surely feeling this angry isn't good for our relationship. _God, I'm tired of always feeling this way._ If it's not one thing…it's another. The story of my life, really.

"ELIZA!" Furrowing my brow, I sit up on my elbows and clear my throat.

"Y-Yeah?"

"Someone is here to see you…" _Huh? Who?_ Who could possibly be here to see me at 9 am on a Wednesday morning? Climbing from our bed, I pull an oversized hoodie over my body and tug the zipper.

"W-Who is it?" I yell.

"Just…someone." Okay, I don't like the tone of voice Arizona is using with me. It suggests that she doesn't like the guest in our home right now…which means, I probably don't like them either. _Oh god, it's my mom!_ I hope it's not, but it probably is. Just here to piss all over my day because apparently, she can't do that from afar.

Taking the stairs two at a time, I try to wake myself up but it's no use. My mood is contributing to what my body can handle today and right now…that isn't a lot. "O-Oh." Taken aback when I find Kaden standing in our living room, I pull my hoodie around me tighter and find my fiancé's eyes.

"Don't look at me…I didn't invite her here."

"No. Me neither." I switch my gaze to Kaden. "What?"

"You had much interest?" She smirks.

"Interest in what?" I furrow my brow.

"Your work? Your livelihood…career."

"Oh, I haven't really paid much attention to it." I lie. "Why?"

"You know the industry won't touch you now…"

"Honestly, I couldn't give a fuck!" Running my fingers through my hair, I step closer to Kaden. "Are you just here to piss me off, or?" I don't have time for her or her games right now. I don't have time for any of this.

"I was in town." She shrugs. "Thought I'd drop by…"

"Yeah, well you shouldn't have bothered." I scoff.

"You're nothing without me, Eliza." She gives me one of her signature smiles and I feel Arizona step up behind me, her hand settling on the small of my back.

"Why don't you back the fuck off and get out of our home?" My fiancé cuts in. "I mean, I don't know who you _think_ you are coming here…running your mouth!"

"Simmer down, sweetie." Kaden rolls her eyes. "This doesn't concern you."

"No?" Arizona steps in front of me and stands toe-to-toe with Kaden. "How about we take this outside and I'll show you just how much this _does_ concern me?"

"Back off…" Kaden shoves Arizona and I know all hell is about to break loose. "She doesn't need a bodyguard. She just needs to sign my contract."

"My fiancé isn't working for someone like you. No way." Arizona straightens herself out and backs up a little. _That's my girl. She knows she's better than this._

"Kinda controlling, wouldn't you say?" Kaden gives Arizona a look of disgust before turning her attention my way. "I don't like that." She shakes her head. "Girlfriends holding their partners back because of jealousy."

"Fiancé," I state. "And there is no jealousy here." I laugh. "At least, none that has anything to do with you."

"Why are you so concerned about my being here?" Arizona asks. "I mean, I'm just the other half…can't you take Eliza how she is and appreciate what she has to offer?"

"I do appreciate what she has to offer…but she doesn't need someone like you holding her back."

"Holding her back?" Arizona laughs, her head shaking in disbelief. "In what way am I holding her back?"

"Just…being here," Kaden says, her eyes trailing Arizona's entire body. "That's enough to put anyone off."

"Mm," Arizona smirks. "You feel threatened by me…right?"

"Honey, I don't feel threatened by anyone."

"Sure have a funny way of showing that." Disappearing from beside me, Arizona busies herself in the kitchen and leaves me to deal with Kaden. "Get rid of her, Eliza."

"You should leave." I motion for Kaden to head to the door. "I'm not interested in your contract and I'm not interested in your threats."

"Well, you should be." She shrugs as she fixes her purse on her shoulder. "I warned you, Eliza…"

"And I told you I don't give a fuck!" Pushing Kaden out of our door, I slam it shut and pull the deadbolt across. I don't know how Arizona is feeling about our unexpected visit, but I'm already done with this day and it's barely begun. "I'm going back to bed."

"Eliza, wait!"

"No, Arizona." I hold up my hand. "I'm really not in the mood."

* * *

"Eliza?" A light knocking on our bedroom door pulling me from my thoughts, I sit up on my elbows and train my eyes on the door. "You awake?"

"Y-Yeah…"

The door opening, I find Arizona approaching me, a soft smile on her gorgeous lips. "You okay?" She asks. "I mean, after what happened before?"

"Yeah. Sorry, you had to listen to that crap."

"I'm not worried." She shrugs as she throws herself down on the bed beside me. "She really needs to work on her attitude, though."

"I'm not sure she knows how." Running my fingers through my hair, I rest back against the headboard, Arizona's hand taking mine in her own. "How can anyone be so vile? And why do they always target me?"

"I don't know, beautiful." Arizona sighs. "But I'm about to start kicking some ass around here soon."

"Mm, that's kinda hot." I snuggle down, my body curling around my fiancé's. "Very hot."

"Just protecting you." She wraps her arm around me and pulls me in a little closer. "You know that, right?"

"Know what?" I glance up at her, my brow furrowed.

"That I'm not controlling you…I'm just protecting you."

"Okay, we aren't even having this conversation." I sit up and shake my head. "No way…"

"Eliza…"

"No." I hold up my hand. "This isn't happening. Not in a million freaking years." How can Arizona even say that? How can she think for one second that Kaden is right or that I agree with her? I swear I'm completely done with that woman right now. It's one thing to lose work over Kaden, but to have her here in our home, talking shit, no. No, I'm not putting up with it any longer.

"If you want to work with her…do it."

"Yeah, that isn't happening." I laugh. "Why would I want to work with someone like Kaden?"

"Because she is about to end your career if you don't…"

"Mm, well I can do something else." I shrug. "Work at the local store."

"Uh, no." Arizona sits forward. "You won't."

"Why not?" I ask. "It's a job."

"I know it is." My fiancé gives me a nod in agreement. "It is a job…but it's not _your_ job, Eliza. You would be wasting everything you have worked for. You would be wasting your life."

"My life is in this home with you, Arizona." I press a kiss to the back of her hand. "Everything else…it's irrelevant."

"Yeah, well I'm not taking any more of her shit." My fiancé climbs from our bed. "I'm done with people thinking they can do and say what they please…and get away with it."

"Just forget about it, Arizona." I sigh. "It isn't important and honestly, this is a battle you won't win."

"Good to know you have faith in me." She scoffs as she heads for the door. "You may be okay with her fucking your career up but I'm not."

"Stop!" I rush from the bed and grip my fiancé's wrist. "Arizona, I love everything about you but please…accept this and move on."

"Nope." She shakes her head. "Not happening." Pulling me into a soft kiss, my body relaxes and a smile curls on my mouth. "Your writing…it's why I fell in love with you. The words you put onto paper…they're just beautiful, like you. She and nobody else is going to take that away from you, Eliza. I won't allow it."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do." My shoulder slump. "I haven't had a single call or email in weeks."

"So, I'm going to call Jayden." She smiles. "See if he can't fix something up for you."

"Jayden is touring with that group…worldwide," I say. "I don't think he has time to talk about my non-existent career right now."

"Could be the perfect time," Arizona smirks. "Just…give me a chance, okay?"

"Sure, yeah." I nod, playing along with Arizona's wishes. I know it won't come to anything so there is no use trying, but if it settles my fiancé, she can make the call. Watching her disappear out of our bedroom, I allow my emotions to get the better of me, tears slipping down my face. I know the music industry can be tough, but this is all Kaden's fault. I've never been out of work and I should've known that she would stick to her word. Honestly, I don't know why she hates me so much. We can't all drop everything for her and live our lives how she sees fit. It kinda doesn't work that way.

* * *

It's been almost two hours since Kaden made an appearance in our home and my fiancé has been quiet. Too quiet. I know she wants to help and I know she wants to fix this, but it's easier if we just give Kaden what she wants. It's easier to surrender and figure out the next chapter of my life. I want to fight and I want to come out with some kind of reputation after it but I don't have the energy. I don't have the time or the patience to try to fight for something I shouldn't have to fight for. Dropping down on the couch beside Arizona, I pull my feet up onto the coffee table and sink down, my body relaxing against my fiancé's. "You're quiet…"

"I got nothing to say." Arizona shrugs, her arm resting behind me on the back of the couch and her eyes focused on the tv in front of us.

"Huh…" I huff. "Fine."

"Don't _fine_ me, Eliza." She gives me a knowing look. "I want you to do what you're supposed to do but you don't seem to give a crap."

"The fight with Kaden really isn't worth it, Arizona." Sighing, my eyes close and my head rests back. "You've already seen what she has done so far…"

"You think I give a shit about Kaden?" Arizona laughs. "You think I can't handle her?"

"It's not about handling her…it's about the influence she has on the industry."

"But what is the point in my being here if I can't help you? Protect you? Make you happy?"

"You do make me happy." My hand settles on Arizona's thigh. "You make me so happy…"

"But seeing you like this doesn't make _me_ happy, Eliza." Turning to face me, Arizona grips my hand and studies my face. "How can you just sit back and give Kaden the satisfaction of ruining your career?"

"Because I have what I need here…" I squeeze her hand. "I got you back and I'm about to marry you, Arizona. How could I ever need anything else?"

"I appreciate that but it isn't good enough for me." She says. "I'm sorry, but it's not."

"Just…can we be us for a little while?" I ask, my eyes pleading with my fiancé. "How we are right now is so good and I don't want to jeopardize that. I _can't_ jeopardize it."

"Wait." She sits forward, her brow furrowed. "T-This is about us?"

"N-No."

"Don't lie to me, Eliza." She pulls her hand away from me. "If this is about us, I need you to be honest with me."

"Maybe…just a little." I shrug. "But it's not important. None of this is important."

"Like hell, it isn't." She gives me an incredulous look. "You're ending your career because of us? No, I won't allow you to do that."

"Arizona, stop." I sigh. "Please, I don't want this with you right now."

"You think we're going to break up again, don't you? That I don't trust you?"

"I don't know what I think." I breathe out. "I don't know what to make of any of this…but I do know that what I have is perfectly fine and is enough for me."

"Call her!"

"No, I'm not doing that." I disagree, my head shaking slightly. "No way am I working with her again."

"Then Jayden…"

"Arizona." I shift closer to my fiancé. "Jayden has his own stuff going on right now."

"I talked to him." She clears her throat. "He's back in time for the wedding and then he has a few weeks before he's back in the studio. He wants to see what you have for him. He already talked with the band and texted me before confirming…"

"He did?" My eyes brighten a little. "I mean, you did that for me?"

"What use am I in this relationship if I'm not making you happy?" Arizona's hand settles on the side of my face. "You know how much it means to me. You know how much your lyrics mean to me…"

"I'm not sure you know how much _you_ mean to me…" My eyes close, my emotions threatening to spill out. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it…"

"No, thank you." My hand settles over Arizona's. "I've been so worried that my career would ruin us again and I couldn't risk it. I couldn't bring myself to talk about it because everything has felt so good with you since you came home."

"I'll always be here, Eliza." Her lips ghost over mine. "I'll always be at home waiting for you."

"Promise we're strong enough for this…"

"I promised you forever, and I meant it…" Her words barely above a whisper as they tickle my lips, a small smile curls on my mouth. "I've so got your back, Eliza…just trust me."

"I do trust you," I say with certainty, my forehead resting against Arizona's. "I'm just scared, okay?"

"I don't ever want you to be scared, Eliza." Trailing her thumb across my bottom lip, I relax into Arizona's touch. "We're so good and nothing could ever break us again."

"Feels good to know you feel that way."

"This feeling…" She smiles, pushing me back against the couch and straddling my legs. "It's all I've ever wanted for us."

"Me too." I pull her in by the back of the neck and press my lips to Arizona's. "Me too…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Show Me Heaven**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Three

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Fucking Kaden._ How dare she show up at our place and demand Eliza's time. Her attention. Her beautiful mind. How dare she even breathe the same air as my gorgeous wife-to-be. I'm not the kind of person who tries to tell someone what to do, and I know I told Eliza to call her and work with her, but I'm over that idea now. I'm over it and now it's time to get Eliza back doing what she loves. She just has a natural gift for breaking my heart with her lyrics. She has a gift and I refuse to watch it go to waste. My fiancé is far too good for that. She deserves the world when it comes to her career and I have to somehow get it all back on track for her.

After all, I feel partially to blame for her downfall. If I wasn't around, she would still be working with that bitch and doing what she loves. If I wasn't around, Eliza would be thriving in every aspect of her life. At least, that is how I feel right now. I know we're good…amazing even, but sometimes people need that little bit more. Eliza needs that. She needs her life back, completely. What kind of person would I be if I just sat back and watched her crumble? How would I feel down the line if she never recovered from Kaden and her bitchiness? Awful. I'd feel truly awful.

Yes, this doesn't totally lie with me, but I feel like I could be doing something. Anything. Eliza knows I love her and she knows I've got her back. I always will. I just feel like she is mad at me. For contacting Jayden and the guys with the band. I just thought I was helping but it seems I may be totally out of line here. Do I speak to her about it? Do I let it lie? I mean, it's been over a week since Kaden showed up at our place and Eliza hasn't mentioned the fact that I made a call on her behalf. The less she has to say about it, the less certain I am that I did the right thing.

Wiping my hands on the rag attached to my belt, I glance up at the sky and close my eyes. I just need a moment to think about what I'm going to do. What I'm going to say. I can't let this sit any longer than I already have because if I do, it's going to fall apart. I can feel it. I meddled, and now I have to apologize. I have to say my sorry and then promise to keep my nose out of Eliza's business. She doesn't need me to fight her battles and she has made that perfectly clear. The best thing I can do right now is concentrate on our wedding and let Eliza get on with what she is doing. At the moment, that is nothing. She is doing nothing.

I can see how agitated she has become. I can see her fingers tapping on any surface most hours of the day. She's bored. She's wasted sitting around. I just wish she could see that. I wish she would realize how much potential she has and do something about it.

"Busy?" My fiancé's voice pulls me from my internal battle.

"N-No, not at all." I put on my best fake smile. "Almost finished up with this engine."

"You've been working on this one for a while now…"

"Mm." I agree as Eliza hands me a cup of coffee. "Thank you."

"I'm thinking of taking a walk." She drops down on the porch, her denim shorts hugging her stunning bronzed thighs. "And then I'm going to enjoy a long soak in the tub…"

"Sounds like the perfect evening." I set my cup down and stand back, admiring my fiancé's absolute beauty. "Want me to join you?"

"That's okay." She waves off my suggestion. "You have stuff going on here."

"Nothing that can't be put on hold." I fold my arms, my shirt greased up and looking like it's seen better days. "You know I'll stop whatever I'm doing for you."

"That's the problem." She mumbles.

"Excuse me?" I arch an eyebrow. "What was that?"

"Nothing." She glances up at me, her own fake smile now making an appearance. "Sorry, just not in a great mood today."

"All the more reason for me to finish up here and spend the evening with you."

"Arizona, I'm fine." Eliza stands. "You do your thing and I'll do mine." Turning her back, she disappears inside our home and my mouth falls open with disbelief.

"Eliza, wait!"

 _Nothing_.

I guess I have my answer, though. She _is_ mad at me. Pissed, even. She is furious judging by the conversation we've just held. If you can even call it a conversation. This is how it's been since last week. Since I offered my help. She is short tempered. She is distant. Quiet. She is anything but the woman I fell in love with, left to fix myself, and ultimately came back for. She is _anything_ but the Eliza Minnick I know and love.

Deep down, she's still here with me. Deep down, she knows I just want to support her. Deep down, she doesn't mean to speak to me how she just has…but I still don't like what we are becoming. I still don't like the feeling I have inside. Apprehension. Fear. For our relationship and for the fact that I may have pushed her a little further than she would've liked.

 _Way to go, Robbins. Why can't you just leave well enough alone?_

* * *

The sound of a key slipping in the lock, I turn around in the kitchen to find Eliza heading inside, soaked from the heavy rain we've had this evening. I want to rush to her side and wrap her up in my arms, but she isn't in a good place right now. I know this mood stems from the death of her father and I know better than anyone to just let her be, but I can't. I need her words. I need her voice around me. I need Eliza and I need our love to be the only thing I feel inside our home.

"You went walking in the rain?"

"Not intentionally." She shivers as she shrugs her jacket off. "It just happened…"

"Let me get you some fresh clothes." I attempt to head for the staircase but she stops me, her hand gripping my wrist. "Eliza, just let me do this. Then I'll let you be."

"But you've lit candles." Her voice is soft for what feels like the first time in forever. "And something smells delicious."

"I just…" Shrugging, I cut myself off, my shoulders slumping. "I wanted to make you feel good."

"I don't follow…"

"You've been kinda distant, is all." My eyes slowly lift and trail her face. "I know you're mad at me but I am sorry."

"Mad at you?" Eliza furrows her brow. "Why the hell would I be mad at you?"

"For calling Jayden." I sigh. "For getting involved in something that is none of my business."

"Hey." She steps closer, her hand settling on my face. "I'm not mad at you, beautiful."

"Feels that way." I give her a sad smile, her touch setting my skin on fire. "But I get it. I understand that I shouldn't have done what I did."

"No, you were just being awesome. You were just being you." For the first time in over a week, I feel like we're getting somewhere. I feel like she is opening up to me. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"What's going on?" I ask. "Inside that head of yours?"

"Just everything and nothing." She breathes out. "I guess things have just gotten on top of me and I'm tired of it all."

"So, you weren't pissed that I made that call?" I ask, my voice hopeful.

"No, and I'm sorry if I've unintentionally pushed you away." Her body shivering again, I guide her towards the staircase.

"Dry off…change." I wave her away. "Red or white with dinner?"

"Red." She gives me one of her sweet smiles. "You're amazing, you know that, right?"

"I want to talk to you, okay?" I state as Eliza takes the stairs slowly. "I want to just talk to you and be with you tonight."

"Sounds like the perfect kind of night to me."

Watching my fiancé disappear up the stairs, I breathe a sigh of relief and head back into the kitchen. Pouring her a glass of red, I take my own glass of white and place them down on the table I set a little while ago. I don't know why I decided to do this tonight, but I felt detached from Eliza and I didn't want things to get any worse. I didn't want that space between us getting any bigger.

"Hey, this is amazing." The sound of bare feet on the hardwood, I glance over my shoulder and smile. "You didn't have to do this."

"I know." I nod in agreement. "But I felt like we needed it. You needed it."

"Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve you." Those strong arms wrapping around my waist, Eliza pulls me into her body and places a soft kiss on my lips. "Every moment of the day, I wonder…"

"I want you to sit by the fire for a few minutes." My fingers trail through my fiancé's soft, damp hair. "You'll get a chill."

"Sit with me?" She asks, her eyebrow raised. "Unless dinner will ruin."

"No, dinner will be fine." Lacing our fingers together, I pull her towards the fire and we drop down to the floor, Eliza settling between my legs. "You know…" Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, my grip around her body tightens. "I thought you hated me."

"Never." Eliza whispers. "I just haven't felt good lately. You know, everything with Kaden and my dad."

"You should've said." I nuzzle my face in the side of Eliza's neck. "You know I'll always listen."

"I know." She nods slightly. "Just didn't want you to have to listen to it all. I'm sure you're tired of it by now."

"Tired of what?" I ask. "Hearing about how you're feeling?" _How could she ever think that?_

"I guess so, yeah." My fiancé's voice tired, she falls silent, her breathing soft.

"I always want to hear about how you're feeling." I say, my voice low. "I know you've had a really bad time lately, but I'm here for it, Eliza. I'm here whenever you need to talk."

"Thank you." She glances up at me.

"You don't have to thank me." I smile. "Just…don't keep me in the dark, okay?"

"You really think Jayden can help me out?"

"Well, I think you would be helping _him_ out and I'm sure he will agree." I laugh. "He knows what you're capable of. He knows exactly what you have to offer."

"It would be good to get back into work." She sighs. "I feel useless sitting around here."

"You've been grieving, too." I inhale her soft, warming scent. "Don't forget that."

"Yeah, mom kinda made me feel like I didn't have a right to grieve." Eliza admits. "So, I didn't think it was my place to do that."

"Hey…" I sit up and Eliza mirrors my movements. "Turn around." Doing as I ask, she turns, sitting with her legs crossed, and staring intently. "What your mom said to you was total crap and you know it." I cup her face. "You have as much right as she does to grieve, Eliza. He was your dad and he loved you."

"I miss him…" Her voice breaks. "I know I didn't see him and I know I never talked about him, but I miss him so much. Just knowing that he was there when I needed him was enough for me. Whether we spent time together or not didn't matter. He was there and he made sure I knew that."

"I know you miss him." I shift closer, my forehead resting against Eliza's. "I know exactly how much it hurts."

"It gets better though, right?"

"In time, yeah." I give her a sad smile. "But you _are_ allowed to grieve. You _are_ allowed to feel sad and pissed off with your mom."

"I'm beyond pissed off with that woman." She scoffs. "If I don't think about her, I forget she exists."

"Sad thing to say, but whatever works for you." My lips ghost over Eliza's. "You know you've got me, okay?"

"I do." She smiles into a kiss. "I know exactly what we have."

"But do you?" I give my fiancé a knowing look. "Do you really know just how much I love you and that I'd do anything to make you happy?"

"Yes." She says with complete certainty. "I promise."

"So, you want me to kill Kaden?" I ask, trying to keep my face as straight as possible. "Huh?"

"W-What?" Eliza's mouth hangs open.

"Do you, or do you not want me to see to Kaden?"

"N-No." She shakes her head. "No, Arizona."

"Okay, good." I release a deep breath. "Because you know, I said I'd do anything for you…"

"You are joking, right?" Eliza studies my face, confusion written all over her own. "A-Arizona?"

"Of course, I'm joking." Laughter erupts between us. "What the hell do you think I am?"

"Don't do that." She slaps my shoulder and I fall back, pulling Eliza down on top of me. "You really had me believing you'd kill her for a moment…"

"I couldn't do that." My thumb grazes her jawline. "I'd miss you too much."

"Yeah?" Eliza's lips ghost over mine. "You'd really miss me?"

"So much." I grip her jaw gently, pulling her in impossibly close. "I couldn't survive without you."

"I know that feeling." Eliza's hand slips up my shirt, her fingertips grazing the underside of my breast. "I'd fall apart without you."

"Mm…" The timer on the oven bleeps. "Dinner is going to be ruined if you keep touching me like that."

"S-Sorry." She pulls back. "Starting something I can't finish." Eliza attempts to climb off me but I hold her securely in place against me. "Arizona…"

"T-Take out." My lips crush into her own, my words breathless. "W-We can order take out."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Updating won't happen regularly but I do have some time on my hands right now, so I'll see what I can do.**

 **Don't forget to check out my latest novel _'Where We Belong'_ on Amazon. Available worldwide.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Show Me Heaven**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Four

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

"Hey, thanks for coming by." Stepping aside, Jayden moves inside our home and heads straight for the living room. "Arizona said she called you…"

"She did." He nods. "Said you're looking for some new material with a different band?"

"Well, I guess so, yeah." I clear my throat. "I'm not sure she was totally honest with you, though."

"No?" He furrows his brow. "Maybe we could figure this all out now and then go from there?" He gives me a smile and drops down onto the couch. "What's up?"

"Kaden." I sigh. "Kaden is what's up."

"Ah." He smirks. "She caused you some issues, huh?"

"Well, you could say that." I nod, moving into the living room. "Just...I don't want to cause _you_ or your band any issues, is all. Figured I'd be honest so you could choose whether to walk away or not."

"That isn't going to happen, Eliza." Jayden shakes his head. "I've known you long enough to know that you are worth the issues. I've heard your stuff and Arizona knows how I feel about it."

"I appreciate that but Kaden is out to get me." I run my fingers through my hair as I take a seat. "She was here just last week, demanding I work with her again."

"Oh, she was huh?" Jayden laughs. "Did she say anything else?"

"Not really, no."

"So, she didn't tell you that nobody will work with her and she's about to lose it all?" He raises his eyebrow. "That the music industry has just about had enough of her and nobody is interested in her stuff? Her music? _You_ were her lifeline, Eliza."

"You're bullshitting me." I laugh. "There is no way nobody _wouldn't_ work with her. She's been around since forever. Dominating every chart around the world."

"She has, you're not wrong." Jayden agrees. "But she's about to lose it all."

"Wow…" I breathe out. "I didn't expect this."

"Because she's very good at keeping things quiet." He snorts. "You've worked with her. You know exactly what she's like."

"Yeah, I do." I agree. "It's only a matter of time before Arizona punches her out.

"Honestly, I'm surprised she hasn't already…"

"You know, I think we should have one of our usual nights tonight," I suggest. "It's been a while."

"Huh? With the guys?" Jaydens smile widens, excitement evident in his eyes. "You think Zo would be good with that?"

"Of course." I furrow my brow. "She misses you guys. I know she does."

"Okay, so you arrange it with her, yeah?"

"It's a plan."

"And we will discuss some material tonight. Figure out what you want and what we are willing to work with."

"Sounds perfect." I smile as Jayden stands. "Thanks, Jay."

"Don't mention it." He waves off my thanks. "We're all friends. You know I've got your back…" He pulls me into a hug. "Don't worry about Kaden."

"Right, yeah." I still don't feel overly confident that she isn't going to mess things up for me, but Jayden has provided me with some new information…and information is power.

Following Arizona's friend to the front door, he opens it and steps out onto the porch. Initially, I was worried about Arizona making contact with him. I mean, I appreciate it, but I didn't want him to think that he had to do this because I'm dating his friend. I didn't want him to feel obliged. If he'd said no, I'd have understood. I really would.

"I'll call the guys, okay?" Jayden turns back to face me. "Cal can hit the store and we will be here around seven. Usual time…"

"I'll call Arizona now." I smile. "She is going to freak when she knows you guys are all headed over. I know she misses her nights with all of you."

"Yeah, I've missed hanging out with her. You, too."

"So, we make it happen." I nod. "And I'll see you tonight."

"Catch you later, Eliza." Throwing me a wave, Jayden climbs inside his car and fires up the engine. Closing the door, I head straight for my cell on the counter and pull up my fiancé's contact information. Hitting call, I wait for it to connect, the desperation to hear Arizona's voice only becoming more obvious.

"Hi, pretty lady."

"Hey!" I smile. "You busy right now?"

"Never too busy to talk to you." Arizona breathes out. "How did it go with Jayden?"

"Amazing," I say. "Well, we're going to talk more tonight but it went well."

"Oh, okay." Arizona is thinking, I can feel it. "So, you're headed out to meet him tonight?"

"Not exactly, no." I clear my throat. "Um, are you busy tonight?"

"Well, I was planning to be busy with you but that isn't happening now, is it?" She laughs. "I thought we were catching a movie tonight?"

"Can we change that up a little?" I ask. "Tomorrow, instead?"

"Guess so, yeah," Arizona says, nonchalantly.

"I invited the guys over."

"Over where?" My fiancé asks, confusion in her voice.

"H-Here. Tonight. Like old times…"

"You did?"

"If that would be okay?" I suddenly don't feel as good about this as I did earlier. I want Arizona to have her people and I figured I was doing the right thing, but now I'm not so sure. _She isn't that person anymore._ "You know, it was a stupid idea. I'll cancel."

"No, Eliza." She rushes out. "Don't cancel."

"Arizona, I should've thought about it before I said it. I know you aren't that person anymore. I just figured it would be nice to see your friends. You know?"

"You're amazing." She breathes out. "And I love you…"

"Okay…"

"Keep to our plans." She says. "It's a great idea."

"You're not mad?"

"No, baby." Arizona laughs. "Kinda hard to ever be mad at you when I love you so much."

"That doesn't mean you're okay with our plans for the evening, though."

"I am." She states. "I'm more than okay with them. I'll be home in a few hours, okay? I love you…"

"I love you, too." Our call disconnecting, I breathe a sigh of relief and set my cell down on the kitchen counter. I don't know if Arizona is only going ahead with tonight for me, but I'm happy she is going to spend some time with her friends. The friends who had her back for so long…and mine.

* * *

"Did I tell you how much I love you today?" Arizona wraps her arms around me from behind and presses me against the kitchen counter. "Because I do. I love you so freaking much." Her lips working the skin of my neck, a smile settles on my mouth.

"I'm happy you're enjoying yourself…"

"Wouldn't have happened without you." She whispers against my ear. "And I can't believe you thought I would be mad at you."

"I just wasn't sure this was your thing anymore," I admit. "You don't ever talk about these nights and I figured you were done with it."

"I was getting back to us, Eliza." She smiles against my neck. "I'll always have time for the guys. They know that things are different now. That _I'm_ different. They know that I'm hopelessly in love with you and this won't be a regular thing."

"You're happy, right?" I turn in my fiancé's arms, studying her face. "You're happy with where our life is going?"

"So happy I could burst." Arizona's dimples pop and my heart rate soars. "Having you back…" Her thumb brushes my jawline. "...being back in your arms, it's all I could've hoped for going into therapy. I wasn't sure I'd ever get there but once I broke through that barrier. Once I realized I deserve to be happy, you were all I thought about. You are always the only thing on my mind, Eliza."

"Can you believe we get married in a month?"

"No…" Her eyes close. "I mean, I can. I'm totally ready, too. But did I ever think we would get there? I'd like to believe I did, and in a way, I always knew we would…but it's been hard. It's been painstaking. It's totally been worth it, though."

"Those eight months I spent without you almost broke me, Arizona." My voice cracks. "But I had to let you do your own thing. I had to let you decide what you wanted."

"I know…"

"I wanted to call you." A tear slips down my face. "Every night, I wanted to call. I wanted to beg you to come back. To come home to me. I couldn't, though. I'd have been selfish to do that. I'd have been thinking about myself and what I wanted, needed."

"Thank you for giving me the space I needed to fix myself." Her lips ghost over my own. "Thank you for being everything I'll ever need in my life."

"I'm going to be your wife." My lip trembles. "Arizona Robbins' wife."

"Feels good?" She asks.

"I feel incredibly blessed." My words barely above a whisper, Arizona presses her forehead against mine. "Blessed and so grateful to have you in my life."

"Right back atcha." Arizona smiles. "And we're going to be so happy, Eliza. I promise you."

"I don't doubt that."

"You wanna head back out to the guys?" My fiancé asks. "Hang out a while then call it a night?"

"If that's what you want, yeah."

"Well, I want you to myself…" She smirks. "So?"

"Then we should really head outside, huh?"

"We're on the same page, pretty lady." Pressing a kiss to my lips, Arizona moans in appreciation, her hands gripping my waist like I'm about to disappear. "And then I want to hear all about your conversation with Jayden this morning."

"You've got it." I nod. "Come on…" Pulling my fiancé away from the kitchen counter, her hand drops from my waist and settles on my ass. Reaching the yard, we separate and I head straight for Jayden. He's brought some material with him but I already have a few ideas I wanted to run by him.

"You doing okay, Eliza?" I drop down beside him, a smile on my face. Glancing at my fiancé, Arizona is laughing with Cal and honestly, I've missed this. I've missed that infectious laugh and mischievous nature she once had. I wouldn't change how we are for even a second, but this feels good. It feels right.

"I have something I wanted to run by you…"

"Sure." Jayden focuses his full attention on me. "Hit me."

"We get married a month today." I clear my throat, lowering my voice. "I kinda wrote something…"

"Yeah?" His smile widens. "And you want it recording?"

"If you have a way for that to happen, yeah." I nod. "I mean, I know I can't just walk on into the studio and do what I want but, you know?"

"Uh, you can." He snorts. "You planning to do vocals on it?"

"Oh, I don't know." I furrow my brow, a slight blush creeping up my neck. "I'm not sure it will sound that good."

"You're joking, right?"

"Well, no." I sit back in my seat. "The last time I recorded anything, it was just for fun."

"Well, your idea of _just for fun_ is awesome and I totally think you should record this one yourself."

"Maybe we could take it to the studio sometime this week? See what works best?"

"I hear you're quite the piano player, too…"

"Again, just for fun." I smile.

"You really shouldn't be so hard on yourself, Eliza." Jayden gives me a knowing look. "I've heard what you can do and I can see why Kaden needs you. _Anyone_ would take you on in a heartbeat."

"And _anyone_ used to…until she fucked me over."

"Well, that stops now," Jayden says. "You want in with us, you've got it. Fucking Kaden." He laughs. "It's about time someone wiped that smile off her face."

"M-Maybe." I shrug, our conversation ending when Arizona approaches me. "Hey…"

"I hope you're looking after her." Arizona points at Jayden, her eyes narrowing. "I'll kick your ass if you're not."

"You know I am." Jayden laughs. "You look good, Zo."

"Thanks." My fiancé straightens herself out, fixing the collar of her shirt. "Feeling it, too."

"'So happy to see you guys back together." He raises his beer bottle. "It's about damn time."

"Agreed." Arizona drops down and sits in my lap, side on. "You figured things out here, beautiful?"

"For now, yes." I clear my throat. "Meeting with the guys through the week."

"Sounds great." She smiles, that pride she has for me shining in her eyes. "I know they'll take care of you."

"Me too." Sensing a change in Arizona's behavior, I'm beginning to realize she's come over here to get rid of the guys. "You know, I think I'm ready to call it a night…"

"Yeah, it's been a long day." She agrees, that signature smirk curling on her mouth as she turns to face me.

"I'll get us out of here." Jayden stands. "We should do this again sometime."

"For sure." My fiancé nods as she climbs out of my lap.

Saying goodbye to the guys, I head inside our home and clear up the bottles and glasses from this evening. It's been great having them here, but I'm looking forward to having Arizona to myself for a little while. We haven't really had the chance to sit and just be today so having a few hours before we call it a night seems perfect right now.

The sound of our front door closing, I feel a presence behind me but I don't turn around. Arizona is about to be all over me and I'm loving every moment I spend thinking about it. "You know, what you did today was kind of amazing." Her lips attach to the skin of my neck. "And I love you."

"I just thought it would be good for you…"

"You know what's even better for me?" She asks, her words low as she whispers against my ear, her hand settling on my stomach beneath my shirt. "You. Only ever you…"

"Yeah?" My head falls back on her shoulder. "Maybe you should just show me how much better I am for you then…"

"Oh, I plan to." She smirks against the side of my face. "I plan to show you all night long."

"A-Arizona." My breath catching as she presses me against the kitchen counter, she brushes my hair to my left shoulder and trails her tongue down my neck.

"Mm, you taste delicious."

"T-Take me to bed…" I whimper. No matter what the past has been for us, Arizona will always make me weak at the knees. She will always turn my entire body to jello with just one look. One word. One breath. "P-Please…"

"I missed you today." She turns me, crushing her lips into my own. "I missed you and I've wanted you to myself since the moment I walked through that door."

"I'm sorry." My forehead rests against hers.

"I'm not." She takes my bottom lip between her teeth. "It's only made me want you more…" Dragging me away from the counter, Arizona pulls me through the lower level of our home, that look in her eyes only making me wetter than I already know I am. "God, I'm so going to take you tonight…"

 _Oh, shit…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Show Me Heaven**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Two weeks later…_

I'm not sure I've ever felt so content in my life. Eliza is working at the studio with Jayden and I'm kicking back on the porch, my work done for the day. It's been a busy few weeks but we've handled it all remarkably well. We've worked together on all of the wedding preparation and plans, and yeah, I enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would. It's left me wondering what the hell my problem was last year when I told Eliza I didn't want much of a wedding. When I told her I didn't really want one at all, I was clearly having a breakdown. One I wasn't aware of, but one I'm glad has ended.

My fiancé knows how much I love her and that will never change, but I could see that uncertainty in those beautiful green eyes if she got a little over excited about a plan or an idea for our wedding. I could see the internal war she was having and I know she was just waiting for me to put a stop to it all. I couldn't and wouldn't ever do that to her. Not now that I realize just how important this all is. Not only to Eliza but to me, too.

Yes, I finally had that realization. That it wasn't all about me and my damaged past. I mean, what woman _doesn't_ want to enjoy her wedding day? What woman would willingly do it all low key when she doesn't truly want a small gathering? Eliza, that's who. Eliza was willing to go against everything she wanted in order to make me happy. Deep down, though…I knew it would only make her miserable in the long run. She deserves a big white dress. She deserves the love everyone should feel on their wedding day. Yes, we've both already been through this before, but this time is different. This time…it's forever.

 ** _I miss your face. Zo x_**

Sending off a message to my fiancé, I sip a light beer and relax back in my seat, my feet pulled up and resting on the fencing. When I heard about Kaden and her lack of friends in the business, I couldn't help but laugh. I wouldn't have ever let Eliza pack up her career but knowing what we now know, it only encourages my fiancé to grab the music industry by the balls. Just like she used to. Kaden can take a hike for all I care and if I see her around here again, demanding and dictating, it won't be pretty. I've already told Eliza that. I know she still worries that the bitch will show up and threaten her again, but I've got her back. I've got her back and then some.

 ** _I miss yours more…_**

 ** _Not possible. Zo x_**

Grinning at our electronic communication, my eyes close and I rest my head back. Did I really land on my feet this time around? Did Eliza truly wait all those months for me, hoping I would one day show up at her door? I guess she did. She did and I can never truly thank her for that. I can never in a million years put into words how I feel about her. I know I have to try, but I'm not sure she will ever quite know just how in love with her I am. I'm not sure she will ever realize how much I crave her touch. Her voice. Everything about her. None of that matters anyway, though. It doesn't matter because I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her. Until my very last breath.

 ** _I'm headed home. I love you. E x_**

 ** _I love you, too. Drive safe. Zo x_**

Tonight we have plans. Plans that include just us. Relaxing. Being with one another. Tonight we have plans and I'm not allowing Eliza to leave my side. She's been super busy at the studio for over a week and tonight I get her to myself. She's only been gone half of the day so I know she won't come home as fried as she has been. I know she will come home and fall into my arms, for the rest of the night.

I know things are kinda manic lately with everything that's going on, but soon it will all be over. Soon, I will be her wife and life will truly begin for us. Everything that could ever possibly fall into place will do so and I cannot wait for it. I cannot wait for the morning I wake up, alone, knowing I'm going to end the day married. Committed. I will once again belong to someone, but the differences are huge. The differences…colossal.

Have I thought about Jenny lately? If I'm being honest, I have. It's hard not to when you're about to marry the woman of your dreams. It's hard not to when you are reminiscing and she enters my thoughts. I don't think about her and how things could've been, but I do think about her and wish I'd never met her. I think about her and wonder if Eliza and I would've ever met had she not done what she did to me. Would I be somewhere else? Would I be married to someone else? Someone who respected me and my body. Someone who cared about me, about our life together. I think about her but then she leaves again. She disappears and I glance to my side to find Eliza snuggled up beside me.

I truly believe that I was supposed to be where I was when Eliza moved in. I believe that I was supposed to experience what I did to get to this point in my life. I don't believe that I was supposed to be beaten and hurt, but I do believe that Jenny was supposed to be in my life in some capacity, just so I could appreciate what I have now. Love. A home. A relationship with someone who will always see me before anything and anyone else in life. I have everything I need right here, right now, and I wouldn't change any of it. I wouldn't change any of my life.

Sipping the remainder of my beer, I drop my feet from the fencing surrounding our porch and stand. Heading inside, I dispose of my beer bottle and give myself a moment to gather myself. Eliza will be home before I know it and I don't want anything unnecessary in my head. I just want us. I just want to spend the night with the woman who will soon be my wife…no interruptions.

* * *

"How was the studio today?" Forcing a forkful of Chinese into my mouth, Eliza curls her legs under her body and faces me fully.

"Great." She smiles. "Got some stuff recorded."

"Awesome…anything I can check out?" I narrow my eyes, knowing the answer she will give me.

"Arizona, you know I won't give you anything."

"But, if you loved me…"

"Hold up!" She lifts one hand, the other gripping her Chinese takeout. "You know I love you, more than anything in this world, but it's still a no."

"Damn, what do I have to do to get some inside info?"

"Nothing." She laughs. "You can do absolutely nothing because I'm not giving it to you…"

"Giving what to me?" I give her my best puppy dog eyes. "Because that could mean anything and I'm not sure I like where this is going…"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"But, sex is still on the cards, right?" I raise an eyebrow, taking another forkful of ginger chicken. "I mean, you're still giving me _that?_ "

"You know it." She grins. "Like I could ever live without that…"

"Phew." I feign relief. "Had me worried for a moment…"

"Good day for you?" Eliza changes the direction of our conversation, knowing that if we don't, we won't finish dinner. "Busy?"

"Steady." I shrug. "Missed you most of all."

"I missed you, too." She shifts a little closer. "You know, I was thinking about everything that's been happening lately…the planning."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, and I just wanted to thank you for everything you've been doing. It doesn't go unnoticed, I promise."

"Just doing my part." My dimples pop. "I wouldn't ever expect you to do it all alone."

"I know and I appreciate that, but it isn't really your thing." Eliza studies my face but I'm giving her nothing. "I guess what I'm trying to say…is that I get it if it's too much for you."

"Too much?" I furrow my brow. "How do you mean?"

"We both know this isn't what you wanted." My fiancé gives me a knowing look. "I don't forget the discussions we had before you left. I don't forget it and I want you to know that I understand if any of this is too much."

"I want it all with you, Eliza." I set my container down on the coffee table and take her hand in my own. "That was the old me. The messed up me. The one who didn't know which way was up most days."

"I know but that's still you in some way, no?"

"No, baby." I lift Eliza's hand, my lips pressing against her skin. "Not at all."

"I love you." She gives me one of her adorable smiles. "And I'm the luckiest woman in the world."

"We both are." I lean in closer, pressing my lips below my fiancé's ear. "We're both lucky and this is always how it should've been."

"We still have two weeks to wait." She sighs, disappointment in her voice. "I hate that we still have two weeks."

"Me too," I whisper against her ear, her perfume causing the corners of my mouth to curl into a smile. "But then we have forever, right?"

"Y-Yeah." She stutters as my lips travel down her neck. "A-Arizona." Shifting, Eliza sets her own dinner down and falls back on the couch, pulling me down on top of her.

"You're so beautiful." My thumb grazing her cheek, I settle between my fiancé's legs. "So beautiful that it breaks my heart." Capturing her lips, Eliza moans into my mouth, smiling as she does.

"God…" She pulls back, her hand gripping my back.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." She smiles, pulling me in by the back of my neck, our kiss more heated. "Fuck, nothing at all." Her hips lifting, my hand slips to her ass and I grip it, squeezing it exactly how I know she likes it. "I've thought about this moment all day…"

"Yeah?" I smile against her mouth. "You thought about me?"

"A-Always." Her eyes close. "I always think about you."

"Mm, I'm gonna need a little more information." Sucking on her pulse point, Eliza wraps her legs around my waist, pulling me in.

"You wanna know what I thought about?"

"God, yes…"

"You." She moans. "Like this. Touching me."

"Touching you, huh?" I pull back and my forehead settles against my fiancé's. "Touching you where?"

"All over." Her eyes bore into my soul. "Everywhere."

"Did it make you wet?" I ask, popping the button on her jeans. "Did it make you need me?"

"I always need you." She buries her head deeper into the cushion beneath her. "I always want you like this."

"Mm, I know." I can feel Eliza's heart pounding and I have to admit, I'm proud of that. I'm proud of the fact that I still make her feel this way. Slipping her jeans down her thighs, I throw them to the floor and her legs fall open either side of my body. "And I'll bet you're soaked right now…"

"Y-Yes." Her back arches as I press my thumb to her lace covered center. "F-Fuck…" Her mouth falls open. "Don't tease."

"No?" I arch an eyebrow as her eyes flicker open. "You don't want a little teasing?"

"You know what I want…"

"And what's that?" I ask, tilting my head. "Huh?"

"I want you to fuck me." She lifts her hips again, my thumb pressing that little bit harder. She may not want me to tease her but she knows it's what I do best. Whether she wants it or not, she loves it. I know Eliza and her needs better than anyone else in this world.

"How?" I lean forward on my knees, whispering against her mouth. "How do you want it?"

"Mm, surprise me." She smirks against my mouth. "Only you know what I need…and how I need it."

"Damn right." I agree. Climbing off my fiancé, she glances up at me as I take her hand. "Stand up." Pulling her up to her feet, Eliza's eyes are dark and filled with desire. Guiding her towards the dining table, I turn her, trapping her body between mine and the table. "Bend over, pretty lady."

"Oh, god." Her hands placed flat on the table top, my fiancé does as I ask and bends at the hip, her beautiful body now resting on it. Grinding myself against her ass, my fingertip trails the curve of her ass before my palm smooths over her skin.

"You really are something else, Eliza…" Pushing her tee up her back, my lips trail her spine, her body shivering at my touch. "I need this gone." Swiftly removing her clothing, my fiancé returns to her position against the dining table and I stand back, admiring the view of her bent over. For me.

"Are you just going to watch me all night?"

"Oh, no." I shake my head, tugging on my bottom lip. "No, I'm not."

Gliding my hand up the back of Eliza's thigh, her body shudders in anticipation for what is to come. I've needed this for so long. We both have. Yes, we make love whenever we can, but that has been few and far between since Eliza was given the okay from Jayden. I haven't had the opportunity to just take her how I want her. Neither of us has had the opportunity to do much alone.

Dropping to my knees behind my fiancé, my hands once again smooth over her ass before my fingers curl around the waistband of her panties. Watching in delight as the black lace slips down her legs and falls to the floor, her glistening, throbbing sex comes into view and my mouth salivates. My body, it responds just like it always does. It wants her. It needs her.

Pushing Eliza's legs apart, she widens her stance. I know exactly how much we've been craving this but now that's happening, I don't know where to begin. Like, I want to kiss the face off her for the rest of the night, but I also need to taste her. I need to feel her. Pressing a kiss to her inner thigh, my fingertips gently glide through what can only be described as heaven. Pure, wet, aroused heaven.

"S-Shit." Her body jolts forward against the table.

"Mm, yes." I take my fingers between my lips and savor the taste of my fiancé. "You taste so good."

"Please, I need more." I can hear the pleading in Eliza's voice but she won't have to beg for long. I won't last long enough to tease her. "Arizona." Opening her up to me, I dip my head and run my tongue the length of her center. I could spend my life drinking Eliza up, I really could.

"Eliza, fuck." Breathing against her sex, her knees tremble but she's got this. She knows if she wants me to take her good, our dining table is her best friend right now. Taking another taste of my fiancé, her hand suddenly grips the back of my head, forcing me against her.

"Y-Yes." She hisses, her words sending my head into a spin. "Fuck, yes." Forcing herself back against me, my tongue slips inside and all breath leaves her body. God, I could listen to her gasping time and time again. "A-Arizona." Her grip on my head loosening, I pull back and climb to my feet.

"You've no idea how much I need you right now." Pulling my fiancé up to her feet, I stand to the side of her, my lips trailing her neck and shoulder. "No idea…"

"Show me." She whimpers. "Please, Arizona."

"Always, beautiful." Slipping my hand between her legs from behind, Eliza's legs almost give out. Toying with her swollen clit, she plants her hands flat against the table, her body begging for relief. "Fuck, you're soaked."

"For you…"

When she says things like that, I have no words. I have no way of explaining how I feel. When she tells me this is all for me, I believe her. I believe her because our connection is so intense that sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. Our connection, it's everything.

Pushing two fingers inside my fiancé, her breath catches and a moan falls from her gorgeous mouth. That mouth only I have the pleasure of. That mouth that turns me on like nothing else in this world. "H-Harder…"

Doing as Eliza asks, I sink deeper, her body pulling me in. "Fuck, I love you." Pushing in and out of her, I can feel her throbbing around me. I can feel Eliza losing all control and it's the most beautiful feeling in the world. How she allows me to take her. How she trusts me with her body, completely.

"Arizona, I-I…" She falls forward, flush with the wood of the dining table.

"What is it?" I lean down, my lips pressing against the skin of her shoulder.

"I-I can't hold on any longer."

"So, let go," I smirk. "Let go and come for me, Eliza."

Those words sending my fiancé over the edge, I take her hard against our dining table, her cries of pleasure filling the room around us. My pace never slowing, Eliza trembles in front of me, another orgasm fast approaching. "Shit, Arizona."

"I want more…"

"O-Oh." My free hand weaving around the front of her body, my fingertips press against her clit and the sexiest moan I've ever heard rumbles in her throat. "Y-Yes." She begs. "Don't stop."

"Fuck, never." Pushing deeper, my body rests against Eliza, the feeling of beads of sweat forming on my brow more than evident. "Shit, Eliza. You're so tight."

"I-I." Cut off when my name falls from my fiancé's mouth, her body writhes before shaking against the table. My movements slowing, her body slumps. "Oh." She whispers, her cheek pressed against the cool wood. "Wow."

"Hey, you okay?" I ask, my concern for her ever-present.

"So okay." A laugh rumbles in Eliza's throat. "Mm, so fucking okay."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Show Me Heaven**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Six

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Things are really beginning to take shape. Everything, it's just…perfect. Arizona has totally thrown herself into our wedding plans and I've only fallen harder in love with her for that. Honestly, I thought I would be doing everything alone, but I was okay with that. So long as I knew she would show on the day, nothing else mattered. So long as I knew she would be my wife at the end of our wedding day, I would've moved heaven and earth to make everything perfect, alone or not.

She's been calling me for the last thirty minutes but I'm avoiding her. Not because I don't want to talk to her, but because she won't give up on trying to hear my stuff. She's really becoming a pain in my ass and I can't concentrate. She even called Jayden hoping she would hear something. She's crazy, but she's mine. She's mine, and I wouldn't ever have her any other way.

Glancing down at my cell, it's buzzing and flashing _again._ I don't want to spend my morning avoiding my fiancé, but I really don't know how else to resolve this. If I don't pick up, she will surely take the hint, right?

 ** _You know, I'm really beginning to think you don't love me anymore…_**

 _For the love of god, woman!_ She's really going there. She's really trying to guilt trip me into picking up. I'm working. I'm busy. I'm trying to perfect something I've written and somehow, been roped into recording. I know it's the right thing to do, but this isn't me. I don't record. I know Arizona loves it when I do, but it just never feels right to me. It feels foreign every time I step inside the glass box and the words come out of my mouth.

 ** _REALLY? You're giving me nothing?_**

Okay, I've had enough. I really have. I love Arizona and I want her to be happy in every aspect of her life, but she isn't winning this one. She isn't going to make me feel bad for doing my job. A job she is convinced I do amazingly well until she wants in on it. I can't work with her constantly harassing me. I can't work with her in my headspace, too. She already takes up enough of it.

 ** _Arizona, I'm busy x_**

 ** _Yeah, so you keep saying. Zo x_**

 ** _Just please stop calling and texting. I'll be home when I'm home. E x_**

 ** _Sorry._**

Great! Now I feel bad. Maybe I should just pack up here and call it a day. I want to, and I've been wanting to head home since I arrived here, but this is for my soon to be wife. This is for our wedding day. Our first dance, actually. If she knew that, she would let me be, but it's also supposed to be a surprise. Either way, it seems I can't win.

 ** _I'm leaving the studio. See you in an hour or so. E x_**

 ** _No, please don't do that. I don't want you to stop what you're doing. Zo x_**

 ** _Then what DO you want, Arizona? E x_**

I don't often lose my patience, but I'm trying to perfect this. It doesn't sound right. It doesn't feel right. Whenever I think I've got it, something else crops up and I'm not happy with the previous recording.

 ** _Nothing. It doesn't matter. I'll just head home. See you tonight. Zo x_**

 ** _Head home? Where are you? E x_**

 ** _I was outside the studio. I just got back in my car. Zo x_**

 ** _You came all this way to see me? E x_**

 ** _Eliza, it's no big deal. I'll go catch up with Jess. Zo x_**

A sudden sinking feeling in my stomach, my mind takes me back to the day Arizona ended our relationship. The day I hurt her. The day she showed up to see me and I totally dismissed her in that hotel room. _Oh, god!_

 ** _Stay there. I'm coming out. E x_**

Grabbing my purse, Jayden gives me a look of confusion but I don't have time to explain. The longer it takes me to leave this freaking studio, the more likely it is that I'll get outside to find my fiancé gone.

"Everything okay, Eliza?"

"Yeah, of course." I clear my throat. "I need thirty minutes, okay?"

"Sure." He shrugs. "I'll grab some coffee."

"Awesome." I nod. "Yeah, great." Pushing through the heavy door, I rush down the corridor and almost knock another artists assistant to the floor. "I'm so sorry." Holding up my hands, my pace doesn't slow. I have to catch Arizona before she leaves.

Pushing out onto the sidewalk, I glance across the street, Arizona's black Camaro still parked up. A smile curling on my lips when I find her resting against the pristine paintwork, my knees weaken. My gorgeous fiancé is holding the most incredible arrangement of flowers I've ever seen and I suspect they belong to me.

"Arizona…" I breathe out, crossing the street. "I'm so sorry…"

"No." She holds up her hand. "I am."

"F-For what?" I furrow my brow.

"For being needy. Pathetic. A pain in your ass." She pushes off her car. "I just wanted to bring you these and then leave. I didn't mean to piss you off."

"Y-You haven't." I give her a sad smile. "They're beautiful."

"And now you have them…I can leave." Leaning in, my fiancé presses a kiss below my ear and steps back. "I'm cooking dinner tonight, okay?"

"Where are you going?" I ask, complete guilt settling inside me. "Don't leave. You just got here."

"I've been out here for over an hour waiting for you to pick up, Eliza." She rounds the front of her car, her eyes finding mine. "I know you're busy. I didn't want to get in the way of that."

"Stay…"

"No, you have things to do and I'm not a part of those things." Tugging her door open, Arizona rests her forearms on the roof of her car and gives me a soft smile. "I just wanted to bring you some flowers. Make your day a little better, maybe."

"And you have definitely done that." I give my fiancé a full smile. "Maybe we could grab a coffee?"

"Hey." Arizona approaches me. "We don't have to do this, okay?"

"Do what?"

"This. You, pretending like you have time for me." She takes my hand. "I know you're busy and I understand that. I just wanted to make you smile a little, is all."

"But I don't want you to leave."

"I have to." Arizona squeezes my hand. "If I don't, I'll never leave and you will still be working tonight."

"Thank you." My lips find my fiancé's. "Just for being you…"

"I'll see you tonight, okay?" The loss of her presence immediately felt, I drop my gaze and nod slightly. "I love you…"

"I love you, too."

* * *

I've been home for forty minutes and my fiancé isn't here. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried, but I know I shouldn't. Arizona has been doing amazing since her therapy ended and I'm just being dramatic. This is me now, though. I worry and I panic…for nothing. I'm sure wherever she is, she's fine. I'm sure she's going to walk through our front door and everything will be as it should be.

Yes, I left the studio early, but I assumed Arizona would be here when I got back. I've tried to call her but all I'm getting is her voicemail. Either she's taking one hell of a call, or she's switched her cell off. She did mention that she would catch up with Jess and I'm close to calling her. Why? Because regardless of whether I know we're fine or not, I'm still panicking. Figuring I should just put my mind to rest, I hit Jess' cell number and wait for my call to connect.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Jess." I clear my throat. "Is Arizona with you?"

"Yeah, she's here," Jess says. "Everything okay?"

"Could I speak to her?" I ask. "Just…needed to run something by her."

"She's not _actually_ here." The sound in the background lessens. "She's in the bathroom."

"The bathroom where?" I furrow my brow.

"At the bar."

"W-What bar?" I don't like where this is going. "Dani's bar?"

"Yeah, what other bar does she drink at?" Jess laughs. "You know she's a creature of habit."

"Why is she in a bar?"

"Um, I don't know." Jess suddenly doesn't sound so chipper. "Y-You'd have to ask her yourself."

"Yeah, don't worry," I say, nonchalantly. "I'll just see her when she's home. Bye, Jess."

Ending my call, I drop down onto the couch and place my cell on the coffee table. I'd like to believe that everything is okay but it's been a while since Arizona spent her afternoon at a bar. I'm sure she's just taking a day off and relaxing, but does that really have to be at Dani's bar? She hasn't seen her since we got back together. She hasn't spoken to Dani since she went to the bar and put her straight months ago.

 _She's mad at me. I know she is._

* * *

Approaching Dani's bar, I don't really want to be here but I also don't want my fiancé to come home mad at me. I'd totally understand if she was but I asked her to stay. Once I realized that my time with Arizona is more important than being at the studio, I needed her to stay. The moment she drove away, I hated it. I hated seeing her leave, not knowing if things were okay between us.

Pushing the glass door open, I spot Jess immediately. I spot Jess, but not Arizona. I trust her with my life, but I don't like Dani. I have never liked Dani and they both know that. My heart sinking when I realize that she isn't behind the bar, I approach Jess and she catches sight of me, giving me a full smile.

"Hey, Eliza." She wraps me up in a hug. "Good to see you."

"Yeah, you too." I pull back. "Where's Arizona?"

"She's um, she's busy." Jess pulls herself up onto a barstool. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, just Arizona will be fine, thanks." I give her a knowing look. "Where is she, Jess?"

"She's just doing something…" Jess shrugs. "She won't be long."

"No, that isn't good enough." I shake my head, disagreeing. "She didn't come home after the studio and now she isn't here when you told me she was…"

"She is here." Jess gives me a reassuring smile. "She just had a call to take."

"Right, yeah." I run my fingers through my hair. "I'll take a glass of red, thanks."

What the hell is going on? Dani is missing. Arizona is missing. I'm sitting here with Arizona's best friend who probably still hates me deep down. Yeah, something isn't right. It isn't right and I don't really want to sit here waiting for my fiancé. I don't want to be here when Dani shows up with my fiancé, a smug grin on her face. She's just that kind of woman. She makes me feel uneasy. Unsure. Wary.

Sitting back in my seat, I glance around the bar and it's quieter than usual. _Of course, it is. It's not even five in the evening yet._ My eyes focusing on a familiar body, my heart rate settles a little. Arizona is across the other side of the room, sat forward in her seat, and flailing her arms around taking a call from someone. I don't know what's going on but Dani isn't anywhere to be seen. She isn't beside my fiancé and that can only be a good thing.

"Dani not working?" I turn my attention to Jess.

"No, she actually met someone…take's time off now." Sliding my glass towards me, Jess studies my face. "You okay, Eliza?"

"Sure, yeah."

"You know, you have nothing to worry about with Arizona being here today…"

"I know." I smile, half-heartedly. "Just wasn't sure where she was or what she was doing."

"Well, she isn't doing anything she shouldn't be if that's what you're worried about."

"You think I don't trust her?" _I'm certainly making it look that way. Damn it!_ "Huh?" My defensive mode kicks in and Jess sits upright in her seat.

"No, that's not what I was saying." She holds up her hands. "I just…Arizona loves you, okay?"

"Yeah, I'm not doing this with you." I scoff. "You've no idea what you're talking about."

"Eliza?" My fiancé's voice pulls me from my imminent rant. "You okay?" She steps between us both, unshed tears in my eyes. "Did something happen?"

"No." I close my eyes. "Just wanted to see that you were okay." I attempt to climb down from my stool. "I should go."

"But you haven't finished your drink…" Arizona steps between my legs.

"And I don't think I feel like it." My eyes find my fiancé's and I put on my best fake smile. "I didn't come here to drink. I came here to see you…"

"Why?" She furrows her brow.

"Well, because I thought I could do that whenever I please…" I give her my own look of confusion. "Seems I was wrong. Excuse me."

"Just…stop." Arizona dips her head, those blue eyes shining brighter than they ever have. "You wanna get out of here?"

"I do, but I'm perfectly capable of leaving alone." Glancing over Arizona's shoulder, Jess is watching me. "You've got this all totally wrong," I say, my eyes staring her down.

"Eliza, I'm sorry."

Arizona switches her gaze between us both. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." I hold up my hand. "Enjoy your evening, Arizona. I really need to go."

"Wait up!" She yells through the bar as I head for the exit. "Eliza!"

Reaching the street, I stop at the edge of the sidewalk and give myself a moment. I know I went to the bar with a little uncertainty about Arizona and I, but it never once crossed my mind that Arizona would be sleeping with someone else. For her best friend to accuse me of that in a roundabout way, it hurt. It hurt more than I thought it would. My worry with Dani is not that she will take Arizona from me, but that she will talk her out of marrying me. That's who she is and that's what she does.

"Baby?" Arizona steps up behind me, her hand settling on the small of my back. "What's going on?"

"Sorry." I clear the emotion from my throat. "I didn't mean to cause a scene."

"You didn't." Strong arms wrap around my waist from behind. "But I do want to know what's going on with you…"

"Well, it was nothing…until Jess made her feelings known."

"What did she say?"

"That I don't trust you." My head settles back against my fiancé's shoulder. "That I had nothing to worry about."

"I'm sure she didn't mean that…"

"No?" I laugh. "Sounded like she meant it to me."

"Eliza." Arizona turns me in her arms. "The only thing that matters, is us."

"And I agree." I nod. "But it doesn't mean what she said is right, Arizona. She's supposed to be your best woman, or man, or whatever the hell you guys decided on. How am I supposed to stand there and marry you when she feels that way? When she is going to be a part of our wedding?"

"I'll talk to her, okay…" Arizona's soft hand settles on the side of my face, her thumb caressing my skin. "But right now, I want to leave and go home with you. I promised you dinner, right?"

"You did, but I can head home alone."

"Like hell, you can." Arizona takes my hand. "I wasn't here getting wasted, Eliza."

"I see that." I roll my eyes playfully. "I wasn't here checking up on you. I just thought you were pissed off with me."

"Why?"

"Because of what happened back at the studio." I sigh. "Then I couldn't get hold of you on your cell."

"My battery died, I'm sorry." She gives me a sad smile. "Dani had a spare charger and I was already here having coffee with Jess, so…"

"I didn't see Dani." I furrow my brow.

"No, she isn't working today," Arizona says. "Why did Jess say what she did, Eliza?"

"Because I came to the bar looking for you…" I admit. "I called her and she said she was with you. You were busy, though."

"Yeah, once my phone was working, I had a call to make." She laughs. "Calling you repeatedly earlier drained it. I had a voicemail from the florist and I had to call them before I called you."

"What's happened?" I swallow hard.

"Nothing." She shrugs. "I fixed it."

See? This is what she does. She just makes everything seem less nerve-wracking than it is. When I'm having a major meltdown, Arizona comes through and makes everything okay again. She is the only calm I will ever need in my life.

"I do trust you, Arizona." I stop us in the street. "You know that, right?"

"I wouldn't be headed home with you right now if I thought you didn't trust me, Eliza." Leaning in, her lips press against mine. "And we're okay. Today…I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at myself for pissing you off."

"You didn't." I smile against Arizona's lips. "You made me feel incredibly loved."

"And that is how I will always make you feel…"

"When you came by the studio…when I was busy working, I panicked."

"About what?"

"Y-You said you would leave and just see me tonight." My voice breaks. "All I thought about what the night you called me from my hotel room…"

"What hotel room?" Arizona looks at me, blankly.

"T-The night you ended us." A tear slips down my face. "The night I messed everything up and almost lost you forever."

"Come here." She pulls me into her body, holding me close. "That won't ever happen again."

"I just panicked, I'm sorry." My face nuzzles into my fiancé's chest, her scent relaxing me. "I just needed to know that we were okay."

"We're more than okay…"

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


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